any advice to help a 20 mos old adjust to a new baby?

Ashley - posted on 09/22/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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i have a 20mos old lil girl, whom i stay at home with. i will be having my second daughter in less than 3 weeks. i know she will have to go through some stuff to adjust, but i was wondering if anyone has any tips to make the transition easier on her and the rest of the family.

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Brittney - posted on 10/03/2009

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try to involve her with helping as much as possible also you could get a babydoll of her own, ive seen this work a couple times, also make sure you have a time for just you and her.

Sam - posted on 10/02/2009

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i just had a baby 3 months ago.My daughter is 2 and ahalf.When i became pregnant we told my daughter mummie having a baby.We kept asking her if she wanted a brother or a sister and she said brother.Thats what we got.lol.

So when i went in to have him,she stayed with my mum and they brought her to the hospital 3 hrs after i had him.My mum bought my son some prsents for the new arrival and also bought a bag of stuff for me little girl.When she came in the room she was so excited and couldnt wait to hold him.She hoped on the bed and kissed him and said i love my baby brother.So all was going well,she opened her gifts and sat nicely colouring in the hosp room.I told everyone to not be all "or you are so cute baby" i said if they were goin to say anthing to the baby or about the baby,they had to include her.For example.....your gorgeous baby,and you lexi.ect.

So when we finally got home,she was amazed by him.She wanted to help mummy do everything.So i included her in bath times and she sat with me while i fed him.Sh ewas asking questions about me breast feeding and i said to her,tis is what mumy did for you when you was his age.She addapted reall well.But after about 3-4 weeks she realised that when baby cryed mummy went So she started crying for attention.I quickly sat her down and said,this is how your brother tells mummy he needs something(bum change,feed,cuddle ect).I told her she can talk and he cant and this is just how he comminicates.

She is fab with him,reall gentle and caring.She always had her baby doll by her side.If we go on walks,her baby comes in her buggy and if i babth baby,she baths baby after.Everything is done together and it has really helped.

Keira - posted on 09/28/2009

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Include your daughter in everything you can, not just with your baby. She's big now she can help with stirring, washing 'dishes', generally being mommy's big helper. The best thing I did was put my baby down when I could (although he wasn't colicky and was very happy to just lay beside us, so that part was easy for me) and read books with my other son or just cuddle. But don't make her feel too grow up all at once she'll still want to be your 'baby' hence the cuddles and extra love! Good luck and have fun!!

Brandy - posted on 09/27/2009

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With my daughter, I have been showing her my tummy and explaining that there is a baby in there and one day soon, the baby is going to come out and see us. I get her to rub my tummy and she started giving my tummy hugs and kisses all on her own! She points to it and says baby. Also, get her to help with the baby once it is born by bringing you diapers and stuff like that.

Ara - posted on 09/27/2009

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I'm glad you asked this question, because I'm pregnant now and they'll be 20 months apart too. Thanks. :)

Jenn - posted on 09/26/2009

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When I was pregnant with my girls I kept my son involved in everything, he came to Dr appointments, we got books from the library about new baby brothers/sisters, and we talked about the babies a lot and how I loved him and always would, etc. He was almost 3 when they were born. After they were born I made sure to still give him some alone time with me and also when I was feeding the babies or changing a diaper I kept him involved as much as possible - he likes to help anyway so he's good for grabbing diapers, wipes, etc.

Jane - posted on 09/26/2009

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include the big sister in everything. ask her to bring diapers to you for her sister, pajamas, toys, bottles, etc. our 2 1/2 yr old now loves being a big sister and is very sweet w/her 8 mos old sister.

Tracy - posted on 09/22/2009

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Let the eldest one help as much as they can/want to.. make them feel just as important in bringing the baby up as you are.Little things make a BIG difference :) and I agree with Brenda, a little one to one time with your older one will make them feel just as loved as they were before and not pushed out for the new addition to the family :) .. Good luck with your 2nd birth hun xxx

Tabitha - posted on 09/22/2009

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I have a son that will be 3 in January and a daughter who is almost 6months. I let him go with me to all the appts, he was actually there when we had the baby.

I just get him involved and ask him to help, get diapers, etc. then let him know how much of a good big bro he is. We make sure he gets individual time too. I think we stress more about it than the little ones. My 2 love each other, he adores her and she is crazy about him. He is sooo good to her.

Brenda - posted on 09/22/2009

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I have a 15 month old little boy and a 4 month old little girl. It is tough but you will get through it. I've found that my son is very curious and we let him touch the baby and just remind him to be gentle. If.when he gets to rough we just remove him from the baby. He went through a really clingy mommy phase but it was short lived. He know just loves to look at her and they babble and laugh at each other. If I only knew what was so funny. Give lots of love to your daughter and have some special mommy time set aside for her. That is what we did with our little guy seemed to help him out.

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