Any help for a SAHM with Social Anxiety?

Lindsey - posted on 05/03/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I was in sales and then an office manager who talked on the phone and to people all day before I became a SAHM. I never had any problem talking to people.

Now almost three years into being a SAHM, I have the exact opposite problem. I try to not be a recluse, but honestly I get nervous when women come and talk to me, because I want to be interesting enough for them to want to come back and talk to me, but the most interesting thing I've had going on all day is that my daughter went on the potty. I have nothing worth sharing, so I'm stuck with nothing to say. So now I get extremely nervous in social situations, and I feel like it's better to look down and avoid people than to get stuck in a conversation that will go nowhere. My recent experiences with women and how caddy some can be have renewed my idea to just avoid it, but I really do want to make some friends somewhere,

Also, what is socially acceptable as far as the opposite sex in public, say at the gym. I'm asking because I don't want to give off the wrong impression to people who see me smiling at someone or if I make a friend at the gym, if there are people I know there, should I just avoid it altogether? I don't want other people that know me to get the wrong impression about me. I really just want a friend and someone to talk to.

Sorry if these questions sound ridiculous and too image-conscious. I usually could care less, but I thought these questions would be more suited to women and mothers, and since I have no friends that are mothers, here I am.

Thanks!

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Brittany - posted on 01/19/2014

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Thank you for posting this. I am going through the samething and when we go out to dinner with friends on the occasions we can I find myself talking about my son whenever I do talk. Then after a little while making a joke about obviously not having a life anymore. Worst part is I always end up going home and face palming bc I feel so lame and well this just makes my anxieties worse. I have recently made another SHAM friend but her husband works from home and is lucky to have a lot of neighbors with young kids so we end up getting together just every couple months. Being kind of shy and a naturally anxious person it's hard for me to make the first steps. So thanks for helping me not to feel like I'm the only one and getting the helpful responses for others like us!

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Tamyra - posted on 07/22/2012

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I definetly understand. I have been a stay at home Mom for almost 3 years. I worked the 16 years before that. My husband gets on me alot about getting out and not doing things that are just with the kids. I guess thats my comfort zone. I do also relate to the talking with other women. I feel like I have nothing in common with alot of women at my church. They are moms, but they work and hang out with others. I am working on it. The one thing I am doing is going back to my adult classroom at church and leaving the children's department. I am with my daughter 24/7 so I am ready to talk to some adults. Hang in there and just make small changes and try to get out where you have the opportunity to talk to other Moms. It's easier said than done sometimes. Take care.

Gina - posted on 07/22/2012

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I totally relate to your post and going through the same issue. I think it would help to take a on a recreational class at a community college. Because then we would have other topics of conversation beside our children, get to meet people at school etc.. Unfortunately that's easier said than done when money is tight and there's no family nearby who can babysit. The problem is we are loosing our identity, our whole being is absorbed in being our child's provider and we don't get a minute to ourselves. I can't even remember when was the last time I got to sit down to watch something on T.V., since my son was born (he's 2.5 yrs old).

Michelle - posted on 05/04/2012

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Look into going to an early years centre or school. There will be other moms there with there kids, that should be a great place to not only socialize for your self but your child as well.
You will soon find out that speaking with other mothers , kids is a huge common subject of conversation. Even a park playground. Just be honest. Other mothers should be sympathetic. At one point or another we have all felt the extent of our vocabulary has been reduced to jibber jabber.......
Smiling at the opposite sex in public isn't giving off the wrong idea. To me that's friendly and polite. Good luck !!!!!!

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