any help getting my 8 1/2 month old to sleep through the night?

Nikki - posted on 06/21/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My son is 8 1/2 months old and still doesnt sleep through the night. He still gets up 2-4 times a night. We have tried everything, giving him a bath at night with lavender scented soaps, feeding him just before bed, letting him cry, and nothing works unless I put him in my arms and get him back to sleep everytime. And as soon as I put him down he sleeps for 20-30 minutes and is back up, so he ends up in bed with me and my husband, bc then he sleeps for longer. I didnt want to get into this habit, but I am so tired and need some sleep and it is the only way I get it.

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Renae - posted on 06/23/2010

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HI Nikki,

I am replying to your question about what to do when he throws up during crying it out. This is not uncommon. Any sleep consultant will tell you that you go in, clean him up, change his pyjamas and bedding, say goodnight and put him back and continue with CIO - if he is prone to throwing up when he is distressed, which it sounds like he is, you should expect him to throw up at least twice before he finally falls asleep. If you do not continue past the throwing up, you may as well not do it at all. You also must be consistent with it and do it every night and at every day sleep. If you are not consistent it is unlikely to work.

As I said in my earlier post you do have other options. I personally think that CIO is only appropriate in very few cases, when all other options are not suitable or have been exhausted. But what I think doesn't matter, it is up to you to decide what is best for your baby and family.

Daisy - posted on 06/23/2010

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I have to say that the crying it out method never really worked for my son and still doesn't. He is extremely persistent so what we do is we (and yes another no no but it works for us) rock him to sleep and put him in his crib. The good thing is that he knows how to soothe himself back to sleep if he does wake up but initially when he is falling asleep for naps or night time, we do rock him to sleep to avoid all that crying. Just a thought. The difference is that my son doesn't cry, he yells lol and talks his babbles and has conversations with his sister that's asleep so therefore we cannot let him keep doing that...I would just try to rock him to sleep at least until he does get older...

Nikki - posted on 06/23/2010

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Thanks everyone for all of your advice.. I have one question though, we have tried the crying it out, and he gets so upset and worked up that he throws up and then we have to go in and change his sheets and all of his bedding. We have tried this several times and it just never gets any better, and we always end up cleaning up bedding... Any ideas on what to do when that happens?

Daisy - posted on 06/22/2010

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I have to say that my baby boy is 9 months and he did not start to sleep through the night and remember that sleeping through the night for babies is about 5 to 6 hours straight...he didn't sleep that long until he was about 6 months. He sleeps at night but he does still wake up about 2 to 3 times, most of it is due to hard teething, the poor thing wakes up crying but other than that he sleep fairly good. He goes to bed between 7 or 8pm and is up by 6 or 7am...He was waking up at 5am and since he would be up for good we decided to bring him to bed with us so he would sleep more (we never did it with my daughter because we did not want her to get used to it later on) but when i took him to his check-up, the pediatrician told us not to do that at all because if we keep doing that, he will get used to it and will always want to sleep with us. I'm sorry but our time is at night when they go to sleep and we love our bed as it is now, with just the two of us. In the mornings of course both of them end up there but that's by the time we get up 7am.

If they are sick definitely i keep them with me in our bed but once they fall asleep they are back in their own bed/and crib.

I think you'll be fine, my daughter didn't really sleep all night without waking up til 4 years which is now...so there is hope lol

Jeanette - posted on 06/22/2010

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wow some long posts - will try to keep mine short and to the point

i was keeping my son in the habit of waking by sleeping with him and feeding etc

when at 6mos i finally cut down and then cut out feeds and decided to put him back in the crib after quieting instead of with me he began to sleep better

eventually i did not pick him up when he cried during the night and found he really only cried a min or two and my trying to comfort him was really interfering with his ability to self soothe right back to sleep

other things i think helped:

regular quiet uninterrupted naps in the day in his crib to get him understanding that is where sleep happens

i limited day napping to three hours at 6mos and it is still there and still working for mine - now at a year he must go down for his second nap by 3pm since i won't let him sleep after 5pm - bedtime is at 8:30pm

have a very regular bedtime routine - takes an hour - bath, bottle, quiet play, book, bed

on the rare nights we don't follow this quiet routine - like the other night we had a cookout and he was very busy up until bottle (skipped bath, quiet play) he fussed in the crib for about 3-4min which is a very long time for him to fuss

well my post was not so short...sorry

this is what i have been doing

[deleted account]

To Jonna..

Your baby must be able to get themselves back to sleep on their own then. My post is NOT, I repeat, NOT opinionated. It is published in medical journals therefore PROVEN FACT AND SCIENCE. The studies were done with over 10,000 babies all over the world by Scandinavian Doctors and scientists. Not my fault if American or other doctors don't read medical journals worldwide. Doctors here have been trying to get docs in the rest of the world to get this but maybe, as said before, they're just too ignorant.

Thank you.

Renae - posted on 06/22/2010

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Ok, Itsa is right (in what she says about REM sleep), and the other ladies are right. Because it all depends on the baby. However, if your baby is still waking frequently at 8.5mo, then they are likely to continue this until 1-2 years old.

You should keep in mind everything that Itsa said, but you also do not want to leave this until you are completely exhausted because that is not good for anyone.

I, also, have posted what I am about to say a gizillion times.

To teach him to go to sleep and sleep through the night you have several options. No-cry methods and crying methods. Crying methods are most effective, have higher success rates and work quickly. No cry methods are gentle and require some time and patience.

If you use a crying method I recommend you use crying it out with cry interpretation. I am not an advocate of control crying or any method where you go in and check on them as each time you go into them, you must leave again, and when you leave they go through the initial distress of being left all over again and it makes the baby more and more distressed. If you use a crying method and leave him to figure out he is supposed to go to sleep and do some research on cry interpretation and listen to his cries so that you know if he needs you, you can cry it out without excessively distressing your baby (notice I did not say there would be NO stress, just less stress than some other methods). This method is very effective and is usually not nearly as bad as mum's expected.

The no-cry method most commonly used by behaviourists and sleep consultants is gradual withdrawal. This is where you gradually withdraw the baby from needing your help to go to sleep. This has an 80% success rate and takes 2-4 weeks.

Another no-cry method is that of UK baby whisperer Tracey Hogg, called Pick-up/Put-down. She has a website with a support forum for people using the method.

There is lots of info out there if you google any of the above methods. You are also more than welcome to contact me for info or instructions on anything I have said (if I include it all this post will be too long).

Kencheska - posted on 06/21/2010

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NOOOO! It only gets worst if you don't break the habit now. Sorry to say that the best thing for him is to let him cry it out. My son was just like this and it took almost 2 weeks straight of letting him cry himself back to sleep before he started sleeping though the night! Sometimes would last for a hour or so (i thought i was going to go mad) but he sleeps all night now!

Maria - posted on 06/21/2010

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My baby girl is used to my arms as well but I only do it during the day at night time she is in her craddle.... since she likes the feeling i lay her head in the hole of the BOPPY... I been doing this since she was two months.... she hugs it and probably think is my breast and is out the whole night... from 11 to * when daddy kisses her before he goes to work... I happen to keep her up during the day I take her on walks and since she is nosey she thinks that if she goes to sleep she will miss out on sumthing

Jonna - posted on 06/21/2010

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My babies have all slept through the night by the age of 4 months so I disagree with the post that babies are not supposed to.

That being said, some things that I have noticed about my babies sleeping is that first of all, babies don't sleep well in the same room as mom and dad. I would try putting baby in a quiet dark room of his own, if you haven't already. Second, a strict daytime schedule is essential for night time sleep success. If babies don't know for sure what is day and what is night, then they will not be trained to sleep through the night. At 8+ months I would have baby on a 4 hour rotating schedule looking something like this:

7am wakeup, liquid feeding
playtime
9am nap (no bottle or breastfeed)
11am wake liquid/solid feeding
playtime
1pm nap (no bottle or breastfeed)
3pm wake liquid/solid feeding
playtime
5 pm nap (no bottle or breastfeed)
6pm wake liquid/solid feeding
playtime
8-9 pm (look for baby's tired cues) bedtime (feeding at bedtime is your choice, i have with some of my kids and not others)

I have used this routine with all three of my kids and had no problems with night time waking unless caused by sickness.

Good Luck!

[deleted account]

Hi this is how we got our son to sleep through the night it is possible to have your baby sleep 12 hours at night!

First we set a strict bedtime routine (which we did not sway from for 1 1/2 months) which involved giving our son a bath with Johnsons Bedtime baby bath, then giving him a massage with Johnsons bedtime baby oil. We then gave him his last milk of the night followed by a bedtime story/ lullaby (the story and lullaby are done when he is in his cot). We then play his lullaby whinnie the pooh (which is set for 5 mins) and put his mobile on and leave the room.

With this bedtime routine we use the CIO method now we give our son up to 30 mins crying (usually if he cries it is for no longer than 5 mins (99 times out of 100 he just goes to sleep)) but when we began using the CIO we gave him 5 mins and then increased it gradually over time. If after the 30 mins he is still crying we go in pick him up and soothe him - when he is calm we place him back in his cot and repeat the process (minus the story) then just keep repeating the cycle until the baby is asleep.

At first this is a hard process but perserverance really help as the baby then learns that this is bedtime and this is what happens when we go to bed - although you will have a rough couple of weeks while your little one gets used to the changes my thoughts are they have to learn this at some point so why not get into the habit early.

Also I would try and get out of the habit of having your little one in bed with you by putting him in his own cot as this is not very good for your relationship and really can go on for years - my SIL still has her 3 year old in bed with her and her hubby and he will not sleep anywhere else.

My son now sleeps 12 hours at night and has done since he was 3 months old (he is now 8 months). He also has 2 daytime naps where he sleeps very lightly for between 30 mins and 2 hours.

Good luck

[deleted account]

Babies are not supposed to sleep through the night....

*sigh*


I've put this post up a zillion times and will prob have to a zillion more. Doctors should tell you this but they don't, either because they're too ignorant to read new medical journals or because they just don't care.

Babies are physiologically made to sleep in REM throught the night in order for brain reparation. All day long they are bombarded with a million new sensations, pictures, words, motions, sounds, movements, etc etc etc etc. During naps they are so PHYSICALLY exhausted so they sleep in DEEP sleep. At night though, their brain puts their body in REM or light sleep. That is the only sleep in which their brains can repair, sort out new information and build new cells. Any noise, even their own breathing, can wake them from this. It's unfortunate but it is how they develop!

Also, babies are more comfortable with mom and or dad because during the day you give them comfort and reassurance. At night, alone in their crib, they don't get that which is why it is so difficult for them to get back to sleep after the innevitable waking. My husband and our son share a bed at night, it's their time to bond, snuggle etc as I am home all day with him. This way, I get a good nights sleep and daddy and baby spend much needed time together (even if they're just sleeping!).

Remember, it won't last forever and you're DEFINATELY not alone!

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