Any of you miss working??

Rochell - posted on 09/14/2011 ( 50 moms have responded )

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I'm a stay at home mom, my husband is a truck driver, so I see him very little.. maybe once a month. We have four children at home, his.. mine.. and ours.. and all the kids are finally in school!! I am still trying to get used to this, but very lonely sometimes. One of our children is special needs... so its impossible for me to go get a job. Much of my time is spent travelling to take him to doctors and when I am not going to the doctors, I have meetings at his school. So I stay busy for the most part.. but I really do miss the working field.. it would be like a vacation right about now :-)) But just thought I would see if anyone else is in the same boat as me.

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Ellen - posted on 09/16/2011

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I haven't worked for 9 years now. I was in Retail Management for 12yrs, but missed a lot of time with my (then) 3 children. I have 4 children, the oldest has a learning disability and disorder. So I'm constantly involved with doctors and school as well. I missed working also, so I understand how you feel. I craved adult conversation! I started working a home-based business about 4 years ago, and I found that it really helped. It's a great way to supplement your income and it works around having a busy schedule. I have developed some great friendships thru my business. There are a lot out there to choose from, and if you would like to take a look at what I do, you are welcome to contact me. Another thing I started doing was going to a few groups on meetup.com. I joined a women's group that gets together to eat out, movies, bunco, etc...I have formed friendships with some wonderful women.

[deleted account]

I do not miss working; I am very happy as a sahm. That said, there are some aspects of the working life that I missed--achievements, goals, social interaction based on something other than kids.
I have found that I can still experience the aspects of working life that I miss, plus some other good bits, without all the crap working entailed through volunteering.

When you volunteer, the service you are lending your time to NEEDS you, and they are eternally grateful. No more thankless clients or bosses. Also, you get to give back to your community or to others who do not have the abilities you do. Your time is very flexible--again, they need volunteers, they will take any time you have and be thankful for it, so you don't have to worry about a full time work load.

There are lots of opportunities to suit anyone and to get what you miss. Your humane society has programs caring for animal, but they also have programs where you take a pet to a nursing home, hospital, or school (it's a reading program--loads of fun!!). If you are more the corporate type, help with a fundraiser--EVERY charitable organization needs fundraisers. Organize big parties, or set up corporate sponsorship! Meals-on-Wheels is a national organization--you can work an assembly line in the kitchen, work the phones for a few hours a week, deliver meals, or even plot delivery routs. If you have strong training skills, Goodwill and Miracle Hill have mentor programs where you help people learn proficiency in the workforce. Great grammer skills? Help with resume's. Love to write? Write press releases. Great in Graphic Design? Design fliers, business cards, and websites for charities that can't afford a pro!

The opportunities are endless.

Desiree - posted on 09/15/2011

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Work was always my release from home and vice versa. That said I do at times miss working outside of the home, I have five children, my husband is military so he goes out of country for long periods of time and it can be hard. Make sure to give yourself "me" time doing something about you, not running to the grocery store or kid oriented shopping, something totally you and then dont feel guilty about it, you need it. I actually homeschool the three oldest to keep me busy during the days and run to zoos, fairs, parks and whatever else I can do with them, in our free time so that they dont feel as though I regret giving up one career for another (them). I have been toying with the idea of going back but realize at this period in my life it would be counterproductive, so I "craft" (sometimes making a mess, but a fun one). Good luck , you are not alone, the key for me was finding something I enjoyed away from my parenting activities and most of the time I forget about what I gave up and think more about what i've gained and learned.

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Meg - posted on 10/22/2011

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yes i miss working, and now i have my son aside from household most of my time dedicate for him. sometimes i feel guilty thinking of leaving him for work i know he's still little so what i did is make myself busy with blogging and chatting with my family and friends abroad. but don't worry you're not alone.

Priscilla - posted on 10/09/2011

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I do miss making my own money! I like and respect the man taking care of his household, but I miss the feeling of getting my own paycheck that I worked for, and that feeling of knowing Idid it and this is mines.
However I love being able to drop my daughter off at school and picking her up, and if I worked, I would not be able to do those things because I'm in school to become a teacher and I would have to be at my school and not be availale to pick her up and volunteer in her classroom. I value these days, and I love the smile on her face when she sees me at her school. So, right now, today, I choose staying home. I go to school after I drop her off, and I pick her up after I get out of school. Tuesdays are the only days that I cannot pick her up (due to afternoon school classes) and I hate it.

Jeanne - posted on 10/09/2011

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Yep! I miss working too sometimes. I also enjoy staying home, too! It is a mixed bag for me:)

Tracy - posted on 10/08/2011

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i stopped working about seven months ago so that i can take care of my one year old and because im 7 months pregnant. i do miss it alot, especially getting a break from home for a bit. hopefully i can return once my 2nd kid is about a year old, but for right now i guess i will take advantage of the time i get to spend with my kids.

Shanhan - posted on 10/07/2011

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My husband is a truck driver too. He was doing long haul for years, home every four months or so, staying only a week at a time. He's now starting short haul and will probably be home once a month. I am a stay at home mom of two kids. One is in school full-time, the other only for two hours. I stay home just for my daughter and when she is in school full-time I will be trying to go back to work. I have been a stay at home mom for ten years now. I definitely miss having the freedom that a job outside of the house gives. I miss being able to contribute and the satisfaction given when working. But if it's best that I stay home even when the kids are both in school full-time, then I will stay home. I know that if I went back to work, I would choose full-time work which would keep me away from home long enough each day I probably would not find the time to do what needs to be done at home because I would be spending the time I do have at home with the kids.With hubby being gone all the time, I would never get a break. So, it's real hard to say that I should go back to work at all. I know my limits. I cannot be everywhere, be at work, be the chauffer, the maid, the cook and both parents.

Joanna - posted on 10/07/2011

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Hey Rochell! I am a mom of 2..5yrs and 14 yrs old. My husband is also an over the road truck driver, he comes home one week a month sometimes out longer than a month. We moved to Tennessee about a year and a half ago.During that time I was a stay at home mom and your right! It gets lonely somtimes when your kids are all school aged.I was finally able to find a job and I work while the kids are in school and some on the weekends. It breaks up the monotony of cleaning house,waiting to hear fom the hubby and waiting for the kids to come home. You get that adult time you hear so much about!LOL!!Well I just wanted to let you know your not the only one out there that has felt this way.Good luck to all of you, and may you find that outlet you need!God Speed!!

Beth - posted on 09/26/2011

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I found Arise.com and I have been with them for a year now and it is an indep contractor (ACP) - they explain everything to you and there are a variety of servicing avail. I have been bringing in about $1000 a mth working around my kids schedule.
It isnt what I thought I would be doing with my life but it gives me the flex to be home when my kids need me.
If you have any other questions, please feel free to contact me.

Cstephenson - posted on 09/23/2011

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Keli, not all home based businesses require that you deliver products. Send me a friend request and I can let you know of several that I am familiar w/that do not (the company delivers product right to customers door)...

Michele - posted on 09/22/2011

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There are great programs that help moms re-enter the workplace from home. Project MAHMA is one of them. This is actually great timing for your question because the company's CEO will be flying out to explain thisopportunity to moms desiring to stay at home on October 1st. If any of you moms live in/or near Orange County, Ca and want me to send you the invitation from corporate let me know your e- address. You can e mail me at lifequesthealth@aol.com.
Here is a you tube video that gives more info:

Rochell - posted on 09/22/2011

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Feeling useful and appreciated I think is a big part of getting out of the house as well... I think kids come to expect... and not respect what they are getting or getting to do.

Rochell - posted on 09/22/2011

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This was great! I went in yesterday to the retirement home.. met several new people, nurses, staff... and I came home in awe because I told my children I got more thank you's in one day than I have probably gotten in a year from all my kids! I love them, and I am a proud mom, and I know they mean well... but what a breath of fresh air it was volunteering :-))

Jodi - posted on 09/21/2011

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I was totally in the same boat but I did what a gal in a previous response said and started a home base business. I LOVE it!!! And I thought I would be the last to do something like this. But this job gives me the flexibility to work when it is convenient for me, I can work as much or as little as I want, and I get to socialize with adult women!!! I finally have the best of both worlds. It IS doable.

Jennifer - posted on 09/21/2011

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I do volenteer work. You get a flexable schedual and I can bring the kids. It's good for them and you.

Cstephenson - posted on 09/20/2011

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Not exactly the same boat Rochell (I have one child vs 4 and see my husband every day though he owns his own biz so sometimes its only for 5 minutes and often that 5 minutes is w/his head buried in the computer).... but I do miss working. To an extent. My little girl is only 9 1/2 months and since I don't financially have to work I can't leave her. My conscience wouldn't let me. But at 42 having worked since I was 13...it is a huge adjustment. That's why I'm here. :)

[deleted account]

I just went back to work, after two and a half years. I was REALLY happy to be there for the first week or so...It was like a vacation! It is NICE to leave the laundry dirty dishes and tantrums back at home!
Here's what I ran into. After a WEEK of working again, "it" started. One girl comes to me and asks me, "so have you seen your schedule? When do you work again?" like an idiot...I said, "thursday."
Here comes the DRAMA!!!!!!! So and so isn't happy, because I took her day...and her buddy only got four days...and I got four days...and that means I took HER day...and BLAM! My happy little "vacation world" all came crashing down around me. I wasn't dealing with tantrums and potty training...I am dealing with he said she said.
So....everything has it's ups...and everything has it's downs.
I just try to find a happy place and hang onto it. I try to overlook the bad...whether it be at home...or on the clock.

[deleted account]

That is awesome, Rochell! My son and I volunteered at a nursing home when he was a toddler--it started because I bought this humongous Christmas tree that would not fit in our home (I miss measured). I couldn't take it back, so I donated it to the nursing home after I saw a tiny little table tree in their huge window. I knew it was the perfect home for the tree, and the local fire department even offered to move and set up the tree for them, but they didn't have any ornaments.



So my son and I organized an ornament party for the residents and their families to come in and make ornaments for the tree. The Christmas stories they told were AMAZING, so our 2 hour party lasted all day! We had so much fun that we decided to do a special party for every holiday.



J is in school now and my schedule is too busy to keep up with it, soI trained a new group of volunteers to do the parties, but my family still donates a tree every year, and I organize the Christmas party. And I still take J once a month or so, just to visit our friends :)

Rochell - posted on 09/20/2011

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Yesssss :-)) and I start tomorrow.. Very excited! I really needed something to do.. besides clean and talk to the walls.. ha although its nice to not have them talk back :-)) Even my dog grunts as if he is talking back

Janice - posted on 09/20/2011

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Although, I'm not in the same boat, I do miss working. For me the financial issues are the worst. I left work when my daughter was born so I could finish the last 3 semesters to get my bachelors degree. I was lucky that with school I didn't feel totally lonely. The plan was for me to go back to work when I graduated but I became pregnant unexpectedly 2 months before graduating so finding a job wasn't going to happen. Then my car died and with no extra money in the budget we are now a 1 car family. I hate being stuck at home. My previous job in daycare was stressful but very rewarding. Now I have a degree to teach in public schools but every district has laid off dozens so finding a job seems impossible. Plus 2 kids in daycare would be over 400 a week so any job I find would have to be a very well paying one. I love watching my daughter (and son when he comes) grow but I really miss the rewarding feeling and income of working.

Maria - posted on 09/19/2011

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I am also married to a trucker, but he is home every weekend. We also have 4 children and our youngest is in kindergarten now. I feel like I need to work too, but mostly to get out to have 'big girl talk' lol. It is tough going days without really having face to face adult talk. I also realize that the novelty would wear off and I would miss the freedom of my own schedule. I will be volunteering in my kids school this year and possibly at the food cupboard. I will also be selfish and take time to have coffee with friends.

Andee - posted on 09/18/2011

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There have been so many really great ideas mentioned here! :)

One thing I would like to add is that I have found "the perfect job" :) I could give you a million reasons. I will say that every reason mentioned here for being at home, missing the benefits of working, and even for not being able to work or work outside the home --- THIS JOB is one that will work for you!

I wish I would have known about it sooner!

It's recession-proof! People keep making money, a steadily growing reliable type of income, even in very depressed economies!

But I'm a very skeptical person when it comes to making money by working from home!!! I've tried dozens of ways to do this - really! What I'm doing now I'm doing only because I have done my research, dug deep, investigated every angle... and this passes with flying colors. I'm watching my income go up every month now! And I'm helping so many others to do this too.

I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO HELP ALL OF YOU as well. I know there's a way for you to message me on circle of moms, so you can contact me that way. My facebook page is another way - look for All-My-Earthly-Best or Andee Anderson Dunn. Or you could send me something at allmyearthlybest at gmail dot com. Our business is booming and has been for years... in fact our fastest periods of growth are consistently during low or depressed economic times. Once you know about us there is no reason not to join the ranks! :)

One other great thing about what I do is that it doesn't take over - it does not take up so much of my time that other things or people suffer. My family still comes first. I'm not missing anything my family needs or wants me for because of "work" b/c my work just doesn't need lots of my time! :) :)

Rochell - posted on 09/16/2011

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So after reading all this... I did it! I went to a retirement home that is next to my youngest son's preschool and right next to where my disabled son goes to school... They said that they would love volunteer help and that if I had to leave at the drop of a dime they would completely understand and not hold it against me... so.. Sunday I go to talk to the gal to find out for sure when I can start. Very excited! Thanks for all the responses.. was great to hear different ideas!

Sarah - posted on 09/16/2011

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As much as I love my children, i do miss working! I have 3 boys ages 2 1/2, 1 and 2 months and I also have custody of 2 nieces ages 8 and 11. I miss the feeling of coming home to them instead of the wanting nap and bedtime to come. I enjoy my children but miss working a lot. On top of wanting to come home to them and not get away from them, I miss the contributing part. My husband makes decent money but another income would be so much easier! I miss the feeling of being able to help out with bills and extra money to do things as a family!

Susie - posted on 09/16/2011

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Im lucky my other half works evenings and only at the weekends ( how i love my fri and sat nites ) Tho him being away alot must be hard on you and the kids. I havent worked for near 6 years now due to ill health and miss it badly are there no other mums in the same boat as yourself? or groups that you can go to? *hugs* :)

TinaMarie - posted on 09/16/2011

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I am soooo glad I am not the only one that misses working! I have a couple friendswho think I am nuts! I stopped woking back in 2006 after a 2nd miscarriage ad I can not believe I am now home 6 years! I am now on a count down until my youngest finishes Preschool and mves on to Kindergarten. The only decision is what to do!? I need to find a job that offers the summer off! I sell Avon now to help bring in some money but that's not working! It is really crazy and the way the economy is around here it is more than likely that there will not be any jobs here for me when the time comes.

Jill - posted on 09/16/2011

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Consider scheduling regular play dates. Play dates are not just for kids. Also, consider volunteering, perhaps at the kids' school. If you are able to get by without a second income and just need to get out, volunteering can be a lot more rewarding. My hubby I'd s fireman so I know how you feel. It can be difficult at times but always take care of yourself and find an interest you can be involved in. It's good for the kids to see that too! Good luck!

[deleted account]

Don't forget about Big Brother and Big Sister mentoring programs, or tutoring at the women's or homeless shelter. With the materials available now, anyone can teach someone to read!
If you are crafty, make things to donate to a silent auction, then get involved in the decorating for the event.

Obviously, I could go on and on and on.....but I'll stop.

[deleted account]

Rochell, have you tried the library? Or church? Our church has lots of ministries to be involved in like the Women's Group. They get together and play bunco, have a book club, go out to eat once in a while, get together at each other's homes to visit; that kind of stuff. So keep looking, you should be able to find something. Maybe a gardening group even though we're coming into fall. Also check the community center if you're area has one.

Ripleigh - posted on 09/15/2011

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Sometimes I do but I remember what a workaholic I was and then I don't miss it so much. Good friendships are important when you're a stay at home mom! I use to call my mom every day just to have someone to talk to but now that I have friends it isn't so bad.

Rhondan0623 - posted on 09/15/2011

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I missed working for a while, but then I started selling Scentsy and it really helped. I get to work on packets, my website, making samples and play with my son. Plus it's a great way to get my friends over and talk while the kids play and I make money from just hanging out. Honestly it's one of the best home based businesses.
If you have any questions about it please just let me know!

Katie - posted on 09/15/2011

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i am... i sit at home all day by myself, and have for the last 3 months, i miss working... I often feel like the tv and my 2 dogs are my best friends..

Rochell - posted on 09/15/2011

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I haven't found any around here .. I have taken all the free parenting classes our county offers.. but .. no offense to anyone else like me... when I met the folks their, it seems they are only there because it was court ordered... not exactly my style.. ya know. I just did it to learn stuff and figured others were doing the same. I didn't realise that stuff got court ordered.

Debbie - posted on 09/15/2011

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Rochell, I have found meetups to be a fun great way to get out and be around other adults. I no idea there were so many available for so many different things.

Rochell - posted on 09/15/2011

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I in a way love being home for them because prior to me becoming a stay at home mom, I worked retail for 10 years, and anybody that has worked retail knows... you miss a lot.. kids growing up, holidays.. etc., I have been home now for going on 6 years. My husband says... try to volunteer somewhere.. thats why I work so hard so you don't have to but I must be available at all times for our kids.. I just really need to find something around this quiet town for some sort of meet ups etc., where I can answer my cell anytime and be able to drop everything and go. I don't miss retail, just the public :-)) The money wasn't worth everything I missed 10 years prior with my other children.

Carrie - posted on 09/15/2011

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I agree totally with Bethany! I have days that I want to get a job, for the interaction with other adults, besides my husband, and for the money, but then I know I would lose out on another 1 or 2 yrs with my daughter.

Debbie - posted on 09/15/2011

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I'm a work at home mom just for that reason. My two youngest are both in school this year and both have special needs so I needed the flexibility. I'm also legally blind so I chose to do something from home I can do totally from home.

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haha sorry i jumbled your 4 kids with someone elses baby boy! you get what im saying though.... :)

[deleted account]

omg yes! i get mine done once a month and i love it! its only an hour or so but its no baby, grown ups, grown up convos and a little pampering. you get to just sit and relax. and if your in one of those quiet moods you can just sit and listen or put a headphone in.

and when baby gets a little older, go to the park! the running and fresh air is great for both of you and once he makes a friend or two you can sit and relax and prob meet some other moms to talk to!

Rochell - posted on 09/15/2011

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Anna .. That is so funny you bring up box tops! My kids and made me become addicted to saving them!! I have quite a bit here... was trying to decide what school to take them too LoL All my kids' schools except them.. I just want to make sure they go for a good use! If you lived by me I so would come help you count them!! LoL

Rochell - posted on 09/15/2011

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Yes, I think that is really it.. adult conversation.. for sure! I have gotten involved in a few things ... Love all the advice! I will have to think of a new hobby...... I must say... I did recently start going to get my nails done for me time. My mother n law insisted and I actually liked and boy can they talk! Ha.. :-))

[deleted account]

i miss it too! i think its more about the time out of the house, interacting with people,having grown up convos ect.....

i agree with the other moms. find something you like to do. or try volunteering a few times a month. you get all the things like the grown ups and grown up convos.

[deleted account]

I have to say, I don't miss the corporate world. I love being a stay-at-home mom. I have been home since 2001. I survived many lay offs but finally got hit. One reason I do not work now is my health; I've had 11 back surgeries since 2003. A lot of my time has been spent in recovery mode. My husband works from home so I always have his company when he's not travelling...which is a lot lately. We have 3 children, ages 24, 21 and 10. The oldest got married this year and we are expecting our first grandchild!! The other two are at home; the 21yo works and goes to college and the 10yo is in 5th grade at a parochial school. I volunteer at school one full day a week and with many other events. That alone keeps me pretty busy. I coordinate the box tops/labels for education efforts -- do you want to come and help me count box tops?!?! I also craft alot - stained glass, crochet, paper crafts, mosaic, cake decorating; you name I probably do it. I agree with Desiree. Find something you like to do, or learn something new. Who knows, you might even get to the point where you can have an online store at Etsy.com or some place like that. Good luck with you endeavors!

Bethany - posted on 09/14/2011

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I don't miss the working part, but I do miss

-interacting with other intelligent adults

-an hour uninterupted lunch break

-two uninterupted tea breaks

-the $

-4 weeks paid holiday a year

-paid, uninterupted sick leave

Tinker1987 - posted on 09/14/2011

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i agree i miss working. Have you thought of selling any home based businesses,work from home on your own time! i would but i dont have my drivers until next summer so making deliveries wouldnt work out!

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