Anyone else have a BA but no desire to have a career?

Stella - posted on 04/03/2012 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I just earned my BA in addition to having a real estate certificate and a paralegal degree, but I want to be a stay at home mom! Oh the PRESSURE! Everyone wants to know, "so what do you do"? or "what are you going to do? Have you applied for any jobs yet"?



It's hard being young, fresh out of college and dealing with this issue because my life plan doesn't call for having a 45-50 hour per week job. I just want to be a mommy, is that so wrong?



How do I respond to these questions without being looked at as some 1950s stereotype woman who has no ambition and belongs to her household???



HELP!

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Betty - posted on 04/18/2012

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Theres nothing wrong with being a SAHM!! seriously so many people enter the workforce with no clue what theyre doing and just waste their time---- there is no milestones you have to hit to feel fulfilled-- trust me it wont bring you happiness

Joy - posted on 04/10/2012

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I have a BA (and almost a paralegal certificate- needing an internship still.) I worked full-time until my daughter was born then went to part-time work for the last couple of years. I'll probably be a stay at home mom when our next child comes along a little later this year (daycare's too expensive even for part-time for 2 children.) I've really wanted to be a stay-at-home mom full time with the first one but we couldn't quite afford it. My husband & I talk about what's "best for the family." He also doesn't want strangers raising our daughter -and said he'd be a part-time stay-at-home-dad if my work required me to go back to full-time.



I think its great you can be a stay at home mom and if you're keeping up your skills that's even better. Definitely not wrong to want to be a mommy first. In a few years when your children have headed off to school you could return to the work force if you wanted to (my mom never did) or if your family experiences difficult times you can fall back on your education & skills to help the family.

Sally - posted on 04/10/2012

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The idea that you need to be more than "just" a mommy doesn't exist outside the modern western culture and even there is only about 40 years old. If you can at all afford it, having mommy there is one of the healthiest things you can do for your children and your family. It will be the hardest job you've ever done and many people will claim you are just too lazy to work. It will be worth it when you see the first steps and hear the first words and get the most hugs instead of the daycare provider.

Stella - posted on 04/10/2012

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@Michele Kreager



That's a great idea, as far as keeping up my skills. I do some temp work here and there, so hopefully I won't have too many gaps in my resume.



Never thought of the option to stay home as more special now than back then, that totally makes sense! I think everyone would choose to at least work part-time instead of full-time if they had the option and wanted to spend time with there children.

User - posted on 04/09/2012

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I am currently working on my degree while staying at home with my 2 children. Before I had my second child I was a real estate agent and I loved it and couldn't wait to get back but now I just don't know. I am working on my BS in real estate to expand my knowledge of the field but lately I've been feeling like I might just stay home for good. I have already decided that when I finish I want to get my master's even if I don't go back to work. I think its a good idea to get a degree because you never know what might happen in the future, you may need to get a job. I just think it's important to keep your skills current so that you are ready if you ever do have to go back into the workforce.

Cindy - posted on 04/09/2012

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Being a mother who is there for her children is a great ambition! That is all I wanted for years! I stayed at home with mine until they went to school. I d o not regret it at all! Why spend your check paying someone else to train your child when you are the most qualified person to do it? You could call yourself a child specialist!

Belinda - posted on 04/09/2012

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I have my B.S. I worked full time for 3 years before having my first child. I've been a stay at home mom for 4 years now. I have absolutely no desire to return to work. People have asked what I do and I tell them. I don't care of their opinion on whether or not I'm a stereotype because I'm doing what's best for my family, and I'm happy doing it. And beyond that, it's really none of their business.

[deleted account]

I have a BA, I stay home because my kids are my first priority, I plan on working when our youngest starts kindergarden in 5years.



When anyone comments, which is rather rare now because it has been 4 years. (Believe me it was constant at first) I just let them know that I am doing whats best for my family. My "job" needs to be done by someone, so why pay another person... For us another major factor is 3 kids in daycare is impossible for us to afford even if I did have a pretty good paying job.



I don't think you should have to justify your decision your child(ren) have a college educated caregiver!!! Who also loves them very much. I think some people are jealous that they can't or do not want to stay home so they say unconsiderate things and ask rude questions. I think it is awesome that you choose to stay home with your kids. The difference between now and the 50"s is that we as women we are able to make the choice to stay home, I think that makes it even more special.



If you are at all worried about having a hole in your resume you can always volunteer. Any place I would want to work would respect my decision to stay home. Any place that doesn't isn't a place that I would want to be

Heather - posted on 04/06/2012

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Staying home is great and I've done it for seven years. However it stinks if your marriage falls apart as mine has done. I have a BA in history and have been looking for a job for months. Unfortunately being out of the workforce for so long has really hurt my prospects in getting a job. Staying at home is great but I think women able to work part time should do so at least to keep their skills current. I never thought I'd be going to technical school in my thirties so I could support myself and children. Now instead of SAHM I'm a displaced homemaker and my prior choices seem a bit naive. Just saying....

Laural - posted on 04/05/2012

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I have an MBA and worked at a Fortune 500 company. I traded that life in to take care of my twins. I don't get pressure from others. I simply say, "I am doing the most important job I could be right now." And that's the truth.

Bonnie - posted on 04/05/2012

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I don't have a BA, but I did go to college and graduated before I started having kids. I seriously thought I was going to have a career, but ever since my maternity leave was coming to an end after having my first child, I had no desire whatsoever to go back to work and I honestly still don't. I am now pregnant with my third (and last) child and I still don't have the desire to have a career.

Stella - posted on 04/05/2012

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@Bethany Eaton



I have a BA in Behavioral Science too! Is it just me or does that degree not really translate over into the working world without a subsequent Master's? I chose that major because I wanted to learn more about the psychology/sociology of ppl, so I can raise my kids with more knowledge of their developmental stages.



Anywho, I have no desire to pay for all that daycare either, it's like having another mortgage!



LOL at the 1950s rocking comment. Such simpler, happier times, yes?

Stella - posted on 04/05/2012

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@Chrystal Bishop



Thanks for that perspective, I totally will take on that confidence the next time I'm approached about my choice to be a full time mommy. I never quite thought about what women were really fighting for in the way you said it, I like it! It's soooo true, I have ambitions too just like a working woman and the way I can leave a mark on this world is to raise my kids whole heartedly, without the distraction of choosing work over them. Not to say that working moms don't want the same thing, but I think we can all agree that something is missed when a child spends 10-12 hours at daycare and not with their mom.



P.S. I have a sneaking suspicion some working moms may be a little jealous of the time stay at home moms get to cherish with there kids...hmm.....

Bethany - posted on 04/04/2012

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I have a B Arts in Behavioural Science, a B Bus in Marketing, I'm a qualified Horticulturist, and I'm a stay at home mum. I draw on my studies constantly, to run my home and raise my daughter and just negotiate life in general.



Mums that work are still mums, are still running their household and raising their kids, they're just using paid help to do it. I'm too arrogant and too cheap to let someone else raise my child, so I'm doing it myself. She's my DIY project. This is also what I tell people who ask when we're having another child. (apparently it's taking a while, though our daughter is only 3). I say we're waiting for a free one.



so my answer? "I'm not in the paid workforce, I'm a voluntary home maker" The 1950s rock.

Chrystal - posted on 04/03/2012

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I went to college knowing full well that I didn't want a career. The reason I went was to finish my education not to get a career. I married during my last semester of college. When others asked what my plans were I was honest I planned to be a housewife and start a family which is what I have done. Being confident in my choices makes it harder for others to take issue with it. I am not a 1950's stereotype women I am a 20th century women. I took the freedom that the women before me fought so hard for and made a choice that made me a happy and fulfilled women. They didn't fight to work; they fought to be equal to have the right to choose what they wanted for their lives and not have another tell them who they could be. I have great ambitions. I have the ambition to better my planet in the way I see as most beneficial by being hands on in raising the next generation. If anyone is so close minded to not understand this then they are not worth my time and energy. If staying home is what you want then move towards it being your reality.

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