anyone else have family who r mad ur pregnant? How do I handle these angry gmas?

Alecia - posted on 01/05/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have a mother in law a nd gma in law who r upset w me for being pregnant!!!!! I'm much too emotional for this bs!! Yes it's our 5th child but it's not their decision to make. I just don't understand how they can be mad!! It's a baby! A gift from God! It's not like they pay my bills! What am I supposed to do w these angry gmas? I have to see them all the time how can I look them in the eye knowing how they feel about the child I'm carrying?

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Jennifer - posted on 01/05/2010

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I am about to go through the same thing again. My mom has never been happy with any of my pregnancies. With the last one she kept making little comments to my first two, like "Nanny only has two knees, what am I going to do with a third child?" My husband and I just recently decided to try for a 4th and I am planning to tell her that every child is a precious gift and I can't imagine my life without any of them. She can choose to be a part of this child's life or she can choose not to, but all four of them are a package deal. If she doesn't think she can handle 4 kids all at one time on her own (she does come get the kids for overnight once in a while) then that is ok, but the visits will be split up equally.

Jen - posted on 01/05/2010

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I always point out if they aren't sending good juju towards the baby then they don't need to be seeing the baby. Most grandparents respond to this...if it's an option of being unhappy because your prego and NEVER seeing the grandkids or making nice and getting to see your kids, they are more than likely going to choose to make nice and see the kids. They may be worried and such, but they aren't carrying the childs, aren't paying for the child and aren't raising the child so they need to back off.

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2010

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My mother in law asked me to my face why I wasn't getting an abortion. Believe me, I know what you're dealing with. I told her that it was none of her business, she would just have to deal with the decisions that my fiance and I make. We're adults. She doesn't get a say in our lives. Let her know too that if she's going to be openly negative about you that you can't have that kind of derogatory attitude being projected onto your children so she needs to think about that. It sounds like a threat, but my mom had to deal with that-- her mother in law used to try to turn us against our own mother. Just cut her off-- you need to show her that she has to respect you. Period.

Shannon - posted on 01/05/2010

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That does sound frustrating! When they say something, thank them for their opinion. Let them know if they aren't supportive of your families choices, then you will have to limit contact. Just take the relationship one day at a time.

Christa - posted on 01/05/2010

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I have five children as well. People worry about things they shouldn't. This is not their family...it is yours. Don't let their angry discourage you. A child is a gift and until they have to start paying your bills....they should keep their opinion to themselves and put a smile on for your benefit. Relax, don't stress and be happy for your family. Our five children (although they fight) love having eachother to play with. I think this is awesome!!!

Carolee - posted on 01/05/2010

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I'm going through that again, too. Only it's my own family. I just don't mention the pregnancy too much when I'm around them... actually, I don't bring attention to it with anybody. It's something that they have to get over, but if you can't stand it anymore, tell your husband to tell them to back off. If he doesn't, bring to their attention that you are excited to bring new life into the world again, even though they aren't, and it's inappropriate for them to let you know that they are upset about it. You aren't asking them to raise the child, so let them know that (while you are around) they need to be happy about it, or at least not sulk! You might ask them why they're so pissy about it in the first place, too. You don't need the extra stress right now. They will love the child once it comes... it's just getting there that takes patience.

Samantha - posted on 01/05/2010

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They will get over it in time! They always do! Both of my pregnancies brought angry parents but before we knew it, they were all excited. Just give them some time.

Tania - posted on 01/05/2010

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It isn't there decision why should they care as long as you pay your own bills and take good care of your children. They should be happy they will have another grandbaby to spoil. Tell them to get lost if they don't like it.

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