Anyone ever dealt with a TERRIFIED baby?

Katie - posted on 04/24/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My little girl is almost 1 and is terrified of everything. She doesn't want anyone holding her most of the time except for me and her dad. We are around people every week, so it's not like she isn't ever around anyone else. She trembles and shakes it's really sad! Has anyone ever dealt with this?

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Bonnie - posted on 04/25/2012

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This is normal for a lot of small children. It doesn't necessarily mean she is terrified. Most babies go through stages of separation anxiety where they cannot be held by anyone other than mommy and daddy and mommy and daddy cannot leave the room without the child freaking out.

Karen - posted on 04/25/2012

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My daughter is 2 and is like this. Doesn't like strangers, especially if they try talking to her. She buries her face in my leg and if they keep trying, she will shake her head no. People have different reactions. Some just ask if shes shy and some others tell me it's a good thing.

It seems to be the worst towards men. The taller the man, the bigger the freak out. If it's a tall man wearing dark sunglasses and she can't see his eyes? FULL ON FREAK OUT!



I wouldn't ever force her to talk to someone she doesn't want to. Someone told me that it's the last thing you want to do with a shy child. My daughter used to be really bad with it, but shes getting better. The older she gets, she seems to be getting smarter about who's a potential threat and who isn't. She's fine around other moms now as long as no one tries to grab her. I have been around friends who weren't aware, that tried to pick her up, and found out really fast that Lily is not that kind of child.



I wish I could tell you that she will grow out of it soon but I can't! I can tell you that she will freak out less with time. Eventually she will stop paying attention to people until they try talking to her, like my daughter did. Baby steps!

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Katie - posted on 04/26/2012

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Yeah sometimes I just want to tell people if you have never had a nervous child please keep your comments and advice to yourself!!!

Karen - posted on 04/26/2012

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Tracie, you say your daughter fully grew out of it? That's great! That gives hope.



Katie, I know! Same with us! I would get comments from my MIL about how it's my fault because I pick her up too much. She actually tried to stop me from picking up my panicky baby!! How do you tell a grandmother that its her loudness that scares the kid? Check ups were the WORST! First, get baby naked, which baby does NOT like. Sit baby on table while naked which baby does not like. Strange nurse takes baby to weigh her in some unstable looking contraption which sends baby over the edge. UGH, I feel you mama. I really do. They got to the point that they stopped trying to weigh her alone and they make me get on the scale with her, then weigh me alone while she stands there crying lol.



I don't know if those checkups are going to get better for a while. I totally see why she hates it. I also think that we get anxiety knowing what we are going to be dealing with, and our babies feel that. I have no clue how you get around that one! At least they get spaced out more after age 2.

Tracie - posted on 04/25/2012

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My daughter did not leave my hip until after she was 2. Not even Daddy was good enough. I affectionately called her "velcro baby." Give your daughter as much comfort and reassurance as she needs. Everyone is different. My daughter is now 7 and a total goofball extrovert, although she still requires TONS of affection and reassurance. Good luck!!

Katie - posted on 04/25/2012

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Thank you so much for the responses! I don't make her go to people if she's scared. It gets hard seeing her so scared. Since she is like this with most family members we get some rude comments about it cause some of our family just don't understand. That gets really hard too when you feel like people are blaming you. She is about to have to go to the Dr for her 1 year check up and shots, and I dread it SO bad! she usually has a really bad set back after appts...especially shot appts.

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2012

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My auntie had gone through something similar with my little cousin. She thankfullly bonded with me, but they did have many issues. She was ADHD and needed some time with specialist. Very shy child to this day. Even at age 13 she will whisper to her mom to ask someone for something...
Have you done any research through the library or google regarding social anxiety? Ive heard all you can do is be supportive of other people being near them and in time they will accept it and open up. Good luck.

Maybe put her in a daycare where she can bond with someone else. In time I founded another great bond with a little girl who sounds a lot like yours, a month after being in daycare she was fine with half the staff. Still picky and preferred me, but on good days certain others were allowed too. Such a cutie. Rowan was her name. Whatever you choose to do Im sure she will do just fine.

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