Anyone have any ideas on how to get my 15month old to go to sleep without being held all the time?

Melissa - posted on 12/09/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Naps and bedtime are fights to go to sleep. The only thing that works is holding my 15 month old daughter. I need to be able to put her down to do other things. I need to be able to sleep without her in my bed. Any ideas on how to get her past this stage?

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Alicen - posted on 12/15/2009

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I'm not sure there is any miracle answer for this. Each blessing that we are all given work entirely different as you've seen with the above posts. Some babies don't want rocked at all, some do, and some got the hang of it quickly. It's called trial and error I think. I am a mom of 4. My oldest was very easy and all I had to to was lay him down in his bed and he'd go to sleep. He slept through the night at 6 weeks old. He is now 11 and my last child is 19 months old and a stunt man. At 11 months old he figured out how to "fall" out of his crib. If he didn't want in it, he wasn't staying there. I also have a 2 1/2 year old who gets the idea some days. Some nights she sleeps in her bed and some nights she doesn't. Since my youngest falls out whenever he wants to the crying method doesn't seem to work. I just grit my teeth and am thankful for a queen sized bed. My babies will grow up, it happens. They will understand later on that bedtime is in their bed. Life is going to be hard, difficult and unfair I don't think I need to make it unfair so early on for them. Like I said, my 2 1/2 year old is getting the idea and she likes her bed and the pretty sheets I let her pick out to make it all her own. My advice is do what YOU think is best, your the mom and only you understand what makes them tick. All babies are different and that's why there are so many 'method's' out there. Give them a try if you like, or spend 10min. in a chair rocking your precious baby and taking time out to sit down yourself. I'm sure like most of us on here you run around crazy all day and need some down time too. Enjoy your blessing that you've been given.

Emily - posted on 12/15/2009

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a great tip is a routine and the see you soon method.do your routine for night time and put her down and say-good night see you soon.two mins later go back and good night see you soon.5 mins,ten mins keep going back reassuring that she is ok and that you will be back!and never,i mean never put her in your bed that will make it harder.she might have some anxiety so have patience and will get easier =)

Emily - posted on 12/15/2009

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My son used to have to be rocked,bounced, and walked to slepp (all at the same time) it was a nightmare!!!! at around 5 months i started control crying and have NEVER EVER looked back! sure it was REALLY hard in the begining, but the results were totally worth it, my son is now almost one, and can put himself to sleep no problems. He may have a little whinge but then hell either "play" in his cot for a bit then curl up and go to sleep.. or hell just go straight off! Does your daughter have a dummy or any special bedtime toys? my son has a dummy and two cuddle rugs that are ONLY for bedtime. he loves them so they kind of comfort him to sleep as well i think?

Good luck, it will be difficult in the begining, but the results are well worth it!

Kathleen - posted on 12/14/2009

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I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old that only recently learned to go to sleep without me sitting in their room until they fell asleep. (I used the Supernanny method..).
This has made me more careful with my 15 month old. He now goes right to sleep when I put him in his bed at night and even (most of the time) at nap time. I made a point of putting him in his bed when he was sleepy rather than holding him until he fell asleep. This has helped him to understand that his bed is for sleeping.
My oldest (now 20) would not sleep without being rocked when she was small and then would wake up frequently at night. Her pediatrician told me, "If she is dry, warm, and fed and it is time to be asleep, you must let her cry it out." This was SOOOOOO hard. I would sit at her door listening to her cry..(crying with her)....it took about a week before she finally learned what bedtime was all about..
What I have done most recently with my 15 month old:
1. I sang the same lullaby to him from birth to now every night and at naptime..Made up my own words to popular lullaby....mostly keep repeating, "Close your eyes, go to sleep...." Sing it through about two or three times.
2. I put him to bed sleepy rather than asleep (most of the time)
3. I do not allow any toys in the bed...they distract from the main purpose.
4. Darkness is a must.
5. Stayed in room quiet until he was asleep (Found that counting to 100 over and over keeps me sane while waiting for the sound of even, deep breathing)
6. Sometime this last month, found that I can now tell him it is bedtime, give him a hug and a kiss, put him in bed, cover him, leave quietly, and HE GOES TO SLEEP WITHOUT CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!
I really have to thank Supernanny. She made me see how to stop fighting with my older toddlers and just lay down the bedtime law....
Now bedtime is just another part of our routine rather than a power struggle.

Lorrita - posted on 12/14/2009

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what i did is lay the baby in a rolled up blanket covered with another blanket over and curve it to be like you are holding her ...if you understand that or use a pregnancy nursing pillow which is shaped similar just lay her in the position on the pillow . i hope this helps or gives you ideas....

Melissa - posted on 12/14/2009

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Thanks for the responses! I have started to try to get her to lay down in the crib to get to sleep. The crying is driving me crazy!!! It still lasts for at least 30 mins. Not to mention now she is not feeling well. I hope to start the New Year with a new hope of getting her on a new schedule! Thanks again!

Nikki - posted on 12/09/2009

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my daughter is 15months as well...but i never really had that kinda problem my daughter hated being rocked since the day she was born..but i will segested and yes it will be hard just lay her in the bed and put on a cd player will soft music like lalabys and maybe a fan that always helps my daughter and a stuffed animal she cant sleep without it and i would lay her in there turn the fan and the music on and just leave the room and she will cry herself to sleep after a couple nights of that she should be ok i hope it helps

Renae - posted on 12/09/2009

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At 15mo you are right to want to do something soon because it will only get harder and take longer as she gets older.

To teach her to go to sleep and sleep in her own bed you have several options. No-cry methods and crying methods. Crying methods are most effective, have higher success rates and work quickly. No cry methods are gentle and require some time and patience.

If you use a crying method I recommend you use crying it out with cry interpretation. I am not an advocate of control crying or any method where you go in and check on them as each time you go into them, you must leave again, and when you leave they go through the initial distress of being left all over again and it makes the baby more and more distressed. If you use a crying method and leave her to figure out she is supposed to go to sleep and do some research on cry interpretation and listen to her cries so that you know if she needs you, you can cry it out without distressing your baby. This method is very effective and is usually not nearly as bad as mum's expected.

The most common no-cry option is gradual withdrawal. This is where you gradually withdraw the baby from needing your help to go to sleep. This has an 80% success rate and takes 2-4 weeks. The instructions for gradual withdrawal are different when they can stand up in the cot so don't use the instructions in some of my past posts.

Another no-cry method is that of UK baby whisperer Tracey Hogg, called Pick-up/Put-down. She has a website with a support forum for people using the method. This is supposed to work well with toddlers.

There is lots of info out there if you google any of the above methods. You are also more than welcome to contact me for info or instructions on anything I have said (if I include it all this post will be too long).

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My son is 20 months and went through that stage awhile ago. I really had to just let him cry to sleep. It was really hard since "I" liked rocking him to sleep so much as I wanted him to just go to bed. It just do or he will continue to know you will and will want that till you wont give it to him anymore.

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