Anyone have problems feeling feeling stagnant and lonely?

Megan - posted on 08/18/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have 2 beautiful children under 2. I'm tired of the routine-ness and loneliness. My kids funtion well on routines and I don't want to shake them up because Mumma is having problems. My husband thinks that I don't do anything all day and doesn't understand how I could possible be lonley. I've tried to communicate how I feel, but I don't feel that he listens to me. Also, I'm having breast cancer issues. I don't feel supported at all and my family is tired of me bothering them to just talk, always asking where's your husband? I dream of a divorce, but that's not an option. We have outing every week and we go and visit friends and family. I'm just wondering if anyone else has these problem and how do you deal with it? I'm hoping for some suggestions and encouragement. Thank You!

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Amanda - posted on 08/18/2011

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OMG GIRL I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!!!! i left for 2 hours on tuesday, my hubby fell asleep watching my son (2 1/2 ) and all he*l broke loose. Im constantly doing the cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping and appointment scheduling, and appointments, and everything else. When he comes home from work he wonders what i did all day, and why things arnt done. he wonders why i feel alone and neglected. his excuse is that he works and makes the money! a divorce would be like a dream come true, but totally out of the question because im broke no money no where to go. I need some ME time and less mommy babies time, but asking is like pulling teeth, and when i do i feel like im doing the wrong thing, and i have to immediatly go back because i feel guilty. i have no encouragement for you as i would love some too. i guess all i can say is that your part of an awesome group of women that are stay at home mommies and we are the strongest, most organized, and well put together woman in the world. We can handle anything, and as far as men go pssh..who needs them, we can do it on our own, we do all day anyways. Just hold your head high, and know that your better and that eventually you will be on top and feeling great, it just takes time.

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User - posted on 08/19/2011

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Dear Megan,

Shame on your husband and family! Not only are you exhausted from having two small babies, you r battling a terrible decease! You need to do something for you! It is very NORMAL to feel depressed, lonely and stagnant! You need to pray that GOD

will send you a friend or support group of some kind, you have to get out there for you and for your babies because when your happy, their happy! To hell w your husband! Men have no idea what being a mom takes out of you! Remember, God will NEVER give you more than you can handle, just turn to HIM and he will give you all the support you need! Obviously God thinks VERY highly of you or he wouldn't give you so much to handle! On the depression bit, if you can't seem to shake it off, I have dealt w this problem my ENTIRE life, maybe you need a little help from an anti-pressant, there's nothing wrong w it, when you have babies, your body gets sooo out of balance, find a good, understanding WOMAN doctor who will understand you. And I promise you, this to shall pass! If you ever need to vent, just email me and we can chat!

Praying for you! Lots of love, Ryen...

Silverlance886@yahoo.com

Megan - posted on 08/19/2011

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@ Amanda. THANK YOU!! It's nice knowing that I'm not the only one. I can totally understand the mommy time issues. I use to feel guilty when I'd go out by myself, then rush home to find everything was under control...my house was a disaster zone, but the kids were alive and in on piece. I stopped asking for me time, and told him I was taking me time. Also, your encouragement was awesome! It was exacltly what I needed. If you are that warm and caring to a total stranger, I can only imagine what a wonderful mother you are! I just keep telling myself that you never get more than you can handle and this to shall pass. I focus on my son and teaching him to honor and respect women. And my daughter...well I'm teaching her not to tolerate bad behavior in men.
Once again, Thank You !! You have no idea how your kind words touched my heart.

Joshliciajones - posted on 08/18/2011

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Hi I have 3 children 9mon,2 & 4 and I know how u are feeling. I have no family & friends where I am at. Its been really tough years since I moved. Even harder if ur a stay at home mom and get no break. Always told my hubby i wanna go back home and so he says " You are home!" lol! i guess we just need to find more resources with getting out. As for divorce?? always thought how complicated my kids life would be if both parents werent together.. My husband always ask me how am I lonely when i have my 3 kids lol!! so true my kids are my bff's seriously...so should urs!!! Maybe its also a cancer patient thing with feeling really lonely...my m-i-l has colon cancer...i hope everything is ok with ur b cancer...hang in there cause i am doing it to!!

Amanda - posted on 08/18/2011

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Can you join a playgroup or mothers group in your area??

We go to playgroup once a week and I also go to the gym which has a childcare facility that I can leave the kids in while I do a class.

You sound like you need a break from the kids to do something for yourself. Can hubby or a friend or family member mind the kids for you while you pamper yourself or have a girly coffee and a chat??

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