Anyone know what to tell your 13 yr old daughter when she keeps asking if she can shave her legs?

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Heather - posted on 07/07/2010

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There are definitely some things to consider. I'll start with this though. I was an early bloomer 36D by the time I was 12, started my period the same year and very dark hair everywhere on my body. My mom was a late bloomer and saw no reason for me to wear a bra, shave my legs or any of those other puberty things until I started my period. That made her realize quickly that my "growing up" had gotten away from her and she was going to have to change things. So my advice would be of course to make sure you talk to her about the changes that are going on in her body, ask her some questions, and find out why she is asking. Is it because she is embarrased to wear shorts because the hair on her legs is black now instead of blonde, or because "all her friends are doing it". Make sure you pay attention to what she is saying and to what she is not saying. She may not tell you outright that every kid in school is teasing her because of her leg hair but it still might be happening. I'm rambling. I guess the point is she is a teenager, and things are going to start happening very soon for her to be a child in a woman's body and it is your job to help her understand and navigate that change. So if ur just getting to the shaving legs start there cause the rest of it will be coming very soon. Good Luck momma!

Kellie - posted on 07/07/2010

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I was twelve when I started shaving my legs and it was actually my mother who initiated it. So tell your daughter yes and make a event out of it. Take her shopping for razors, shaving cream, and lotion and then plan a leg shaving party. Do it together so you can show her how. Have fun with it. I know it may be difficult to see your little girl growing up but instead of focusing on how you feel, focus on the positive lifelong memory you can give her. She is becoming a woman, so celebrate!

Donna - posted on 07/13/2010

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good for her for 'asking'! I think that should say something for your daughter & her respect for you, your opinion. find out why she thinks she needs to shave, who of her friends are and are not doing it and maybe find out what their mom's have said (surely you have conversations with your daughters friends mom's...). Explain to her why shaving is not glamorous, that it requires time and precision and once you start you don't stop. If the hair is blond, maybe tell her that when it starts to darken it will be time, if it is dark and she is being teased - maybe consider it - or maybe there is a lesson in confidence here; to not let the teasing bother her, it is a natural part of growing up and the time just isn't now for her even if it is for some of her other friends. Just don't shut the door to one more wonderful aspect of your relationship with her. I say this from being there, and on what I would hope to do if I had a girl (I have a boy). Good luck!

Jane - posted on 07/11/2010

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i think that's the age my mom let me start - we're italian. that and bleaching my lip and plucking my eyebrows. if she's asking, she's probably feeling a bit self-conscious. i say take the opportunity to help her learn how to take good care of herself. too many young girls don't know how and end up making poor decisions on how to see themselves as attractive. teach her to be proud of herself and present herself well.

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Hayley - posted on 07/17/2010

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I started to develop when I was 10 and by the age of 13 I definitely needed to shave my legs. I was starting to look like a yeti :D

If she needs to, I would let her.

Stephanie - posted on 07/15/2010

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Let her !!! she is no longer a kid .. she still a child but she is also trying to find her self @ this point .. They need to have boundaries on everything but you have to try and trust them to do certain things... if not they will try w/o you knowing and I would much rather be in the know ... It's hard @ this age I have a 13 yr old Daughter and I've already raised 1 who is almost 20 ... So, some of it you just have to go on how mature the child acts ... I always tell my girls and boys they can come to me with anything but remember I will be the mom 1st.. Never your friend ... And My Oldest we have a great relationship now .. it was rocky @ times when she was a teenager but it works out.

[deleted account]

I started shaving my legs when I was about 11 years old. I have PCOS and suffer from hirsutism...I'm very hairy lol! If she wants to shave let her but give her a shaving lesson first!

Tina - posted on 07/14/2010

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i have a 13 year old daughter to there always asking questions about differant stuff i would tell her she wants to shave her legs let her do it but be there to watch her make sure does it right

Yvonne - posted on 07/14/2010

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I guess i'm lucky as i'm not too hairy and have never got rid of the few hairs i do have (only in my pits!! ) but my daughter started at 10 as well and regrets the shaving, but had she told me what she was doing i would have encouraged her to use another method as shaving really isn't nice it encourages faster re-growth and its itchy, i would suggest that as she wants to do it for whatever reason she's going to do it eventually whether you know or not, so encourage her to use a cream its the softer and safer option and it seems that the hair does indeed take longer to grow back.

Good luck xx

Estrella - posted on 07/13/2010

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dont let her use razors they r alot of creams that u put on n then take it off with a wet sponge i did the same thing w/my girl whom was 12 n her n i totally diffrent i have no visible hair what so ever but she does n it was not very comftrouble 4 her since none of her friends had the same problem so i do think u should speak 2 her n see some options other than razors well i just worry they might cut themselves n the crean is so much safer

Clodagh - posted on 07/13/2010

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13 is fine!! My 9yrs wants to sheve hers, but after reading all these i think i myt but her some creams and lether

Sarah - posted on 07/13/2010

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the way i see it is if there is a razer near by she will do it if u say no or not but just think she will be doing it a year from now with your permission so why not start now she is most probrably feeling diffrent at school because her friends are shaving there legs and hers are hairy and grose, so yeah just think abouth the fact that its gonna happen 1 day

Stephanie - posted on 07/12/2010

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I would go with 'Yes.' 13 is old enough in my opinion. I was 12 when I started.

Andrea - posted on 07/12/2010

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I started shaving my legs when I was ten. Snuck my sister's razor in the shower. It's extremely embarrassing to be a tween or a teen and have hairy legs! At that age, there is an imaginary audience (that is often times quite real) who scrutinizes your appearance. If she was asking to wear inappropriate revealing clothing or wanted to do something permanent like a tattoo, well, that is when I would put my foot down. Leg hair removal is no big deal. It is a big deal however to a 13 year old who has to be seen with it.

Thelma - posted on 07/12/2010

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she is gettin to that stage where she is hitting puberty so she is gonna want too but your her mom so u have to choose

Aspen - posted on 07/12/2010

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My mom told me no and I did it anyway so I always swore I'd let my daughter shave them when she asked so I felt like I had SOME kind of control in the situation.

Carisa - posted on 07/12/2010

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That's probably a pretty normal age. I know I never asked my mom at that age and stole some of my sisters Nair (boy did that hurt!) Just reminder that once she starts, she can't stop.

Kimberly - posted on 07/12/2010

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My oldest daughter (how is now 13) has been shaving since for 2 years. We set an age when she could start. Most girls that are in the 6th grade are shaving. Talk to her and find why she wants to start shaving. She doesn't want to be the only one of her friends that is not shaving, she doesn't like the hair on her legs. Just talk to her about the changes that are going on with her body.

Cristina - posted on 07/12/2010

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She's becoming self conscious, it's totally normal that at that age she would want to shave her legs, I in my personal opinion, think that 13 is ok to shave her legs, especially if she wears shorts and skirts, at that age to me it seems ok to get them shaved, I did, and it was a long long time ago, it didn't do much change in my life other than in esthetics. so it really fall on you as a mom if you want her to or not.

Dawn - posted on 07/12/2010

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i went out and baught my daughter nair and showed her how to use that first then when she turned 14 i showed her how to shave her legs and under her arms and she now does it herself.

Amanda - posted on 07/12/2010

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You could also have a pampering session with your daughter then she will start to see you as one of her mates, someone she can talk to about adult things that she will go through that way you will know what advice she is getting and you could even buy some alcohol free wine or something and have a proper nights pampering with your daughter x

Vanessa - posted on 07/12/2010

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I dont think there is anything wrong with a 13 yr old shaving their legs! Just ask her why she wants to? ... Is she in any sports, or cheerleading??

Amanda - posted on 07/12/2010

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I think that there is nothing wrong with 13 yr olds shaving their legs however i would supervise her when she doing it and maybe start off with an electric shaver as there less chance of cutting herself too much till she learns how to do it properly. The constant ads on tv for the lady razors don't help i know, there was nowhere near the same ads when i was 12-15 yrs old but it all a big thing now having the perfect body when alot of young girls don't realise they are beautiful without having to start doing all this stuff too early. It is scary growing up i remember being petrified when i first discovered i had pubic hair and the periods came which were even more terrifying. Anyway i would definately supervise your daughter for the first while and start with a safer shaver till she knows what she doing x

Cassandra - posted on 07/12/2010

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I would first ask my child, why she feels she needs to shave her legs. Regardless of her answer, I would take her out and let her pick out her own shaving cream and razors. Then I would teach her how to shave her legs safely. It is a part of growing up, and female hygeine. If she asks don't be afraid to answer

Marisa - posted on 07/12/2010

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I was 8 years old when I started shaving...what can I say I'm hairy and have dark hair...I told my mom..I had seen my older sister do it..I was way more careful then not to nick myself. 13 is a good age b/c she is becoming a young woman and probably starting puberty.Like on mom said make it a fun thing..hope this helps..at least she's asking you instead of just doing it like I did.

Ashley - posted on 07/12/2010

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Tell her yes and buy her a razor. Moms are responsible for teaching their daughters about feminine grooming and it should not be a wierd subject. It's normal. Natural. She'll blame you if she's shunned and made fun of by other girls for such simple things when it could be totally avoided. Remember how mean girls are to each other at this age? Ugh. lol

Verity - posted on 07/12/2010

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13 is about high school age i think that it would be ok. shes probably getting teased at school for having hairy legs i know i did!

Michelle - posted on 07/11/2010

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u should buy her a schick silk effects razor bc it has lil wires that act as a guard on the blades to reduce her chances of cutting herself. and tell her not to shave above her knees bc itll just make more hair grow up there.

Ashley - posted on 07/11/2010

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http://www.nocirc.org/statements/cervica...
http://www.nocirc.org/statements/hiv2003...
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.o...

By the way, why do we think it's ok to circumcise our boys but not our girls? It's just sad, really.

Rachel - posted on 07/11/2010

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the only other thng i could suggest is use something like a hair removal cream for a while first, its not quite as bad as shaving x

Rachel - posted on 07/11/2010

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my opinion is that if she is really unhappy about it she will do it anyway with or without your consent. i was 14 when i first shaved my legs, my mum sat in the bathroom with me while i did to make sure i was doing it right. children have changed so much over each new generation and what wasnt so much of a problem for us is a big deal for them as they live in the celebrity world of wanna be's. i'd explain that she will have to keep on top of the shaving every couple of days and that it will grow back possibley darker and like stubble and if she still wants to go ahead then support her coz like i said she'll do it behind your back otherwise and you dont want a trip to the walk in centre coz she cut her leg on a razor balde x

Amanda - posted on 07/11/2010

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I shaved my legs very early in middle school as did every other girl in the 6th grade. I know that if I didn't, the girls probably would have teased me because you know how kids in middle school are. I firmly believe in the quote "When it comes to style, swim with the current, but when it comes to morals, stand like a rock." So ya know as long as she's a good kid no reason not to let her breeze along in middle school do some things similar to the other girls her ago.

Andrea - posted on 07/11/2010

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i agree with no know very many 13yr old girls that dont shave haha, my mom let me start shaving my armpit when i actually had a hair there LOL it was fun and thats about the same time i shaved my legs, i was in 4th grade. i think i was an early bloomer because i was the only white/ hispanic chick who had to ware a bra ( i lived in Louisiana and i think i was the only mexican, the rest of the girls were black- but they all had big ones for our age group lol)


so it just depends on how fast she is developing. it would be so fun to have a "shave party" for my period my mom wanted to do a red party, thinking back i wish i did but we celebrated wowman hood by going out to eat :)

Ashley - posted on 07/11/2010

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First of all, kids these days are much more mature then I was when I was that age - they wear more mature clothing, they wear makeup earlier, they have their periods earlier. The kiss and other stuff earlier too. I'm not sure all of that is good.
But I was like Heather. I got my period at age 12, I was wearing a c cup by age 12, and I was embarrased by all of it. Luckily my mom was different - she wanted me to not have big boobs just hanging out there, she wanted me to not be embarrased by long black leg hair... she was the one that said "I think it's time for you to wear deoderant... etc.". I'm glad she did.
If your daughter thinks it's time to shave her legs, look at her legs. Honestly ask yourself: would you want to shave your legs if your hair was like that? If so, why shouldn't she? She is turning into a young woman and pretty soon it's going to be really different. You are going to have to help her during these changes, not hold her back.

Sabrina - posted on 07/11/2010

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I let my 12 year old shave her legs, so she doesn't get picked on in school by those other girls. around this time is when the girls in school start getting real nasty, especially when it comes to hygiene like in this case. I also started shaving my legs at the age of 12, as long as your daughter knows how to use a razer properly I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Kimberly - posted on 07/11/2010

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When my oldest turned 12 she thought it was time to start shaving her legs. I explained that once you start the hair comes back darker and thicker and faster. Then we talked about the options on the market at the time. We finally compromised and I bought those pads that you just rub away the hair. It does cause some discomfort but the hair stays away longer and doesn't come back all dark and thick.

Kathryn - posted on 07/10/2010

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My mum wouldn't let me start shaving when i wanted to, so i did it behind her back... bad idea because i cut myself so many times trying to learn by myself... theres no reason not to let her now because she'll eventually start anyway, and its better that you can be there to help her out!

Jami - posted on 07/10/2010

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I started shaving when I was 13 as did most of the girls in my family. I will probably try to give her tips how not to cut herself cuz that really hurts!

Jennifer - posted on 07/10/2010

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I agree with Kelli and Melissa let her do it but be a big part of the process! If you help them through it then like Melissa said they know they can come back to you when other things come about. As some one told me once make memories in the stage you are in and embrace the next stage because it is coming whether you like it or not! She is growing up don’t fight that help her move to the next stages gracefully.

Melissa - posted on 07/10/2010

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My oldest daughter is 14 now. When she was 10, she asked me how old I was when I started shaving my legs, I answered 11. So when she turned 11, I took her shopping for all the supplies for shaving as well as products for when she started her period. We made a day of it. I'm glad that we did because any questions she has about boys and what not she knows she can come to me! My youngest daughter is about to turn 11 in a couple of months and I will do the same with her. It's a fantastic bonding experience and allows for them to know that they can come to you about other more personal things in the future.

Paula - posted on 07/10/2010

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I would ask why she wanted to shave her legs. Then if you are ok with her reply ask her if she would like you to help while it's the fist time she has done it. but if she says no please don't be offended as we all have things we like to do on our own. Don't we ?

Bethany - posted on 07/10/2010

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it's a rite of passage. even if you tell her that once you start, you'll have to do it forever, she will still want to. get her either a safety razor, or an electric razor, and tell her to have fun. safety first! good luck mom :)

Elysia - posted on 07/10/2010

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I would suggest talking to her and asking her what her reasons are behind wanting to shave. Is she feeling self conciouse? or is it just because her friends are doing it? etc i was around that age actually i think i may have only been 12 when i began shaving. I actually did it behind my mums back because she wouldnt let me. I had one of those "cool" auntys who let u get away with certain things so i got the razor from her. I was also a very early develeoper though, i was only 10 when i started my period and i was 11when i began high school and was a 12b bra. I played alot of sport and did athletics and i didnt like the hair on my legs. Looking back i dont think it sent me the wrong msg i didnt go omg now im shaving i can meet boys or anything like that. But i can certainly see as a mother now y you would have reservations. But i think trying to keep the lines of communication as open and honest as possible is the way to go, i know can be very hard with teenagers lol. Good luck with it all.

Chantelle - posted on 07/09/2010

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i started shaving when i was about 8yrs old which i really regret just tell her that her hair will grow back 10times worse and will only grow more everytime she shaves that might scare her into not doing it or maybe let her get a wax job done for her legs and maybe she wont wanna do it hope this helps goodluck

Lisa - posted on 07/09/2010

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oh but no I didn't let her shave her legs yet she is not responsible enough yet to do it but me on the other hand my mom wouldn't allow me to shave my legs so I waited until I got my first job and took my own money and brought the products at 13 or 14 years old and started shaving my legs and when my mother found out she didn't care because it was my own money all I know is she kept telling me not to shave because the hair would grow back thicker then what it was which is not true so I didn't pay her no mine after

Lisa - posted on 07/09/2010

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Well now I am going threw it the only thing is my daughter just made 9 years old today and basically started wearing deoderant at 6 because she was sneaking in my room puting on my deoderant and stuff like that now she is slowly growing breast now and already has her pubic hairs and stuff. she keeps complaining about how much her it hurts and stuff and I wanted to find out what can I get for my daughter to stop the pain from her breast growing in. Anyways me on the other hand when I started wearing deoderant I was 8 and when I grew my breast I think I was also 9 or 10 I really don't remember but when I recieved my 1st menstral I was 12 so I think my daughter might be like me but so far what I have read with everybody comments everybody was late when they started puberty wow any suggesstions anyone?

Kawanda - posted on 07/09/2010

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I have always told my daughters that everone is different that your differences are what makes her special. But sorry, why can't she shave her legs she's 13 and at that age you pick your battles and that doesn't seem to be one. Pray about it and do what you feel is best.

Becky - posted on 07/09/2010

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My 13 yr old been shaving her legs and arm pits since she was 11. She started her period at 11 and started becoming more self conscious. I showed her how to do it and she has done fine. She is almost 14 now and shaves like a pro. :)

Amy - posted on 07/09/2010

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Well to be honest at 13 I think shaving her legs is par for the course as they say. I do have concerns with the nicks and scars that can come with shaving so I can suggest Smooth Away. It does take longer but it works well with no possibility of of cuts or bleeding, leaving legs soft and hairfree longer than shaving. It can easily be done while watching a movie or something of the sort. And I'm realizing that I'm sounding like an infomercial so I'll go, I just wanted you to know there were options to hair removal besides shaving or chemicals. Good luck :)

Amy - posted on 07/09/2010

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I will let my daughter shave when she asks. Your daugheter's friend are probaly already doing it and making fun of her. If you do not want her to use a regular razor then try to find and electric one. I know my mom wouldn't letr me and I just did it myself. I would say let her do it.

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