Anyone with suggestions with my 9-year old daughter with behavior issues at home?

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Angela - posted on 01/26/2009




I have a 9 year old that has always been my hard child, and while I haven't changed him completely I find the biggest factor is consistancy! Which can be very hard, but if you always follow through with some kind of punishment and make no empty threats It can really make a world of difference!

Ashley - posted on 01/21/2009




Hi! I have a 5 yr old daughter that also seems to have some problems at home. I thought that once I started to stay home with the kids that she would behave more appropriately but I was wrong. She is a great kid but times I feel like I don't know what I'm doing because she just won't listen! We recently started a system and it's working so far. What I've done is created a chart with her favorite things she likes to do. Movies, play dates, and swimming. So each time she helps me or listens, helps, displays good manners, etc., then she gets a star on that specific thing she wants to do. If she can get to 10 stars on that specific thing, then we allow her to do that special thing she likes to do. I hope this is helpful. I know it can be so very frustrating. Girls are tough sometimes! Good luck! Ashley

Missy - posted on 01/21/2009




I know that this may sound like going to extremes, but we were fortunate that our son's speech therapist also was a behavioral therapist.  It was amazing to learn how much *I* was contributing to the negative behavior with my reactions and responses.  There may be some good info. online about it if you want to cruize the web.  I would also recommend you setting up a recorder somewhere and just let it record.  Once a behavior "incident" has happened, go back and look at how you reacted.  You just might be very surprised. 


Changing behaviors can be a very long and difficult task.  We've responded and reacted to our children in the exact same way over the past 9 years so bad habits can be hard to break.


Best wishes!


Mandy - posted on 01/21/2009




Yes, I am recently going through this, but at school with my 9 year old son.  It seems as though they are going through another "age appropriate" stage.  What I did was make a chart based on red, green, and yellow dots.  Each dot represents and amount of minutes he may use towards video games or playing with friends.  We actually split his day up into 3 sections; morning, reading, and afternoon.  I made the behaviors extremely detailed so he knows if I blurt out I will automatically get a red dot, which is actually a subtraction of minutes.  Anyway you can adapt it  however you need.  The hard part is sticking with it, and not backing down.

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