Appropriate Workload

Valerie - posted on 05/14/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi everyone, I am a stay at home mom of a very lively 3 year old. When my son was 5 months old I began working in a daycare part time to get myself out of the house and still not have to pay for daycare. I did this for a year before deciding that it wasnt for us. I went back to being a stay at home mom but also began watching a little boy my sons age (fulltime) and a little girl about a year and a half younger (part time). This was working out great for about a year and I made the decision to takeon the little girl fulltime and pick up another boy my sons age part time. Currently I stay at home watching my 3 year old son (fulltime), one 3 year old boy fulltime and another part time and a 1 1/2 year old girl fulltime. On top of watching 4 children, I do ALL and I mean ALL of the housework from basic cleaning, laundry, to cleaning toilets, and windows, as well as run all of the basic errands like grocery shopping, running to the bank, taking the kids places like the park and the library, etc. I make breakfast, lunch, and snack for all of the kids as well as dinner when my husband gets home. On the weekends we get his 9 year old son (who has been having behavior problems at schoo). Last october my husband and I were expecting a baby girl and we had a stillbirth at 26 weeks. I took "work" off for a week following and then went back to the grind. I am currently 7 weeks pregnant (havent made it public knowledge yet) and am still doing all of the above. I have expressed to my husband that I am feeling burnt out and need a bit of a break (a vacation) before I stretch myself too thin and his response was very unhelpful, "well give up before you have a meltdown." What happened to "what can I do to help?" or "lets take a vacation with no kids" or something. Do you moms agree that I am doing more than my fair share and could use a break or is his response to my "complaining" appropriate?

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Fatima - posted on 05/14/2014

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I think it comes with being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM)... we all experience it and it's not easy. Sometimes husbands have a hard time being sensitive with SAHMs and you can't really be mad at them. Remember, you're pregnant and hormones are everywhere. Take 5 mins one morning/night, whenever it is that you can take a breather, and just breathe. Write down the pros and cons of keeping up with the mommy daycare. You MUST remember that your health is critical. Hope you make the right choice. Best of luck!

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