Are swings considered neglect?

Jamie - posted on 01/08/2011 ( 68 moms have responded )

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My son just turned 2 weeks old and I feel guilty if I am not holding him all the time. I've put him in his swing a few times and he is usually asleep, and when he's awake he seems pretty content with just looking at his surroundings. If he starts crying or fussing, i'll pick him up or comfort him right away. I know that it is not a bad thing to hold your baby all the time and you can't spoil a newborn, sometimes it feels nice to put him in his swing so I can do laundry and other things around the house, and sometimes if I hold him too long my arm starts hurting and I need a break anyway. When he is awake in his swing, i am constantly looking at him and wondering if I am a bad mother for not holding him more. I guess what I am trying to ask is how long should a newborn be in a swing if he is content and awake, and should I just hold off on the housecleaning and hold him while he's not sleeping? I am a new mother in need of A LOT of advice, PLEASE HELP!

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Jess - posted on 01/09/2011

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If you want to see swing neglect check out my neighbour. Her newborn is in that swing all day and half the night. I'm not kidding ! Sounds to me like your using it for its intended purpose and if your concerned contact the manfactorer and ask them what the maximum recommended usuage time is, as long as your not exceeding that you have nothing to worry about ! Its not possible to hold a baby all day, and personally I don't think it does them any good any way !

Monica - posted on 01/08/2011

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Girl, boo. The fact that you're even concerned shows you're not a neglectful mom! You're trying to take care of the rest of your house; nothing wrong with that. Baby knows you love him, and you're actually doing him a favor by giving yourself a break sometimes.

Juleen - posted on 01/19/2011

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Don't even worry bout that!! As long as he's happy enough in the swing for a while he's fine. You have to do stuff as well and as long as you keep up a bit of chatter to him while you're doing stuff he'll be fine. If he's not upset being there work away you're doing a great job :)

Jessica - posted on 01/13/2011

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Don't feel bad about that. My son doesn't like to be held much and that has been since he was teeny tiny. He's now 11 months. He has always LOVED to be in his swing. Go by your instinks and do what works for you and him. It is not bad to hold your baby when he fusses and don't let anyone tell you different. He needs that reassurance that you are there for him. Security, comfort, whatever you want to call it. Loving your baby is not spoiling. You can not spoil a baby, especially since they need their mom. You help on to him for 9 months, its what he's used to. Use the swing, give him a familiar blanket and do what you need. You are not a bad mom for it. It sounds like you are doing great!

Saraya - posted on 01/22/2011

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I have the same problem. My daughter is 6 months old now and she wants to be held A LOT! Sometimes putting her in her swing helps, but not always and I feel terrible if i let her cry it out in her swing. It's really hard trying to break of the wanting to be held all the time. My opinion is, start doing it early! At this point i wish i did, because it just gets to the point where you can't get any YOU time or even get anything done. I've been told that it is just fine to let them cry for a while, they need to get used to not constantly being held. I hope that helped a little? :)

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Thea - posted on 01/21/2011

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Just like all the others Moms have said before me, Please don't feel guilty! The fact that you are so concerned about this matter just shows how good a mom you already are:o)

If it wasn't for the swing with my first, I wouldn't have made it.He was happy and content in it and I was able to do a little housework or rest. Your baby obviously is the center of your life and your main concern so, attention is not lacking. Babies do love to be held but, I feel they like having some time on their own to explore the world around them. My best advice...trust your gut and do what works for you and your baby! Mommy knows best!

Kelly - posted on 01/19/2011

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You don't need to feel guilty! My son napped in his swing every afternoon! It gave me time to play with my daughter or just sit and rest for a bit. My daughter was collicky, so I was holding or wearing her constantly, so it was a blessing that Elliott liked the swing. And if you enjoy holding your baby, go ahead! I loved holding my babies, but sometimes you just need a break.

Rindy - posted on 01/19/2011

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You don't have to be holding him all the time. Put him in his swing and let him watch you fold the laundry and do the housework and talk to him while you do it. yes, your baby is your #1 priority but how long can you spend all your time holding him before you all have nothing to wear or eat off of? if hes content let him be. I always used a bouncy chair for my daughter and would just move her to the room I was in so she was still near me in case she needed anything.

Toni - posted on 01/19/2011

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With my first child, I held him a lot, but his swing was very helpful. If I needed to be busy, or needed an arm breather, swing! He loved it, and he is now 7 and he is perfectly fine. My 5 year old would be in his swing or bouncy chair while mommy was busy. My 10 month old was, and still is, mortified of his swing.
You are not a bad mother, you don't have to hold them 100% of the time. And newborns can use time on the floor, on a blanket. That way they can learn to hold their head up, and roll, and play. :)

Julie - posted on 01/18/2011

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You need a break too. Don't worry. You will have plenty of time holding your son. Try using a baby carrier like a moby wrap. It is hands free and baby's head is well supported. carriers take a little getting used to but can be great ways to hold baby and get some work done.

Sally - posted on 01/18/2011

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Get a good baby carrier. There are so many different kinds that one has to be right for you. Than you can hold him all the time and still have your hands free. With practice you can even nurse hands free in some of them--one handed in others. It makes grocery shopping so much easier.
Besides if he's only 2 weeks old there is no way you should be housecleaning. You need to rest and heal. Sit down and RELAX
Enjoy your baby

Joy - posted on 01/18/2011

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Both my kids loved the swing .I moved them around from swaddling,to crib and swing.Dont feel bad you are doing good.

Jamie - posted on 01/18/2011

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my advice to u is to sleep when the baby sleeps, cause if you will be able to have the energy to be up at night with him and i dont think the swing is neglect, hey girl if u can get stuff done that way great, go for it, cause when he gets older u are going to wish he would sit in the swing lol, but holding the baby all the time u will never get stuff done, so if he enjoys it do it, dont feel like a bad mom, cause u are not, we all have to find our own way of doing things. :-)

Debby - posted on 01/18/2011

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I'm not a fan of the cry it out method. However, none of my children were big cryers. I used my swing till it fell apart. If they weren't happy in the swing they laid in the playpen or somewhere else so I could do other things around the house. Hell, at times I still follow the rule: Sleep when they sleep! Because if I didn't I wouldn't be a happy momma. And we all know that when momma's happy everybody's happy!

Susan - posted on 01/18/2011

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You are so lucky to have a baby that likes the swing. You are doing everything right as for letting him swing. You can start by talking to him or better yet read books to him while he is in the swing. DO NOT set him in front of the TV to be distracted by that. It will start a bad habit that is not easy to break. As for doing house cleaning?? If it is stuff you can do that are within sight of him then do it. Stuff that would put you in another room you can put the swing where you can see it. NEVER LEAVE THE BABY UNATTENDED IN A SWING!! I wore a front pack when I did stuff around the house. You really want to get him used to house hold noises too. Then when he goes to sleep you won't need to be super quiet because he will get used to the surrounding noises. Also, Don't feel guilty for not holding him all the time. You should be holding him at all feedings and when he crys for a reason (wet diaper, tummy ache or wanting to be fed). You will slowly know what he wants. The swing is there to help you and not to babysit for you. Good luck and I think you are doing things right.

Heather - posted on 01/18/2011

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Love the swing... years from now when he is sixteen and pissy you will miss the days of the swing. My son is eight months old and I miss the swing. Right now go give the swing a hug for even posting this. :) No it's not neglect it;s sanity :)

Rebecca - posted on 01/18/2011

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Use That swing. I am a mom to a 3 year old girl. I loved my swing and bouncer seat. As long as your baby is content let him stay. They need to be stimulated anyways and at his age looking around is stimulation for him. Being a new mom is hard but I promise it is worth it. Just remember if one thing u try does not work there is always tomorrow to try something new.

Shannon - posted on 01/17/2011

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Not at all, you have to remember. Even though you have this wonderful new addition, life around him does go on. You do not need to hold your baby every minute, you both need a break sometimes. He's learning about the world, just like you are learning how to be a mom. My 1st child loved her swing, I held her plenty. There were days when I did nothing but hold her, just because. And there were times when she would nap in her swing, or if you have a dvd player. Baby Einstien is great! It holds their attention and is intertaining for them. It's not a bad thing to let a baby cry for a few minutes before you pick them up. If you rush to pick them up immediately, everytime they cry. They will eventually learn that all they have to do is cry and you will come running. And once you start the routine sometimes it's hard to see what you've started until it's to late. Your baby knows and feels that you love him, try to make it an even mix. You will be glad later. Babies need down time just like we do, and sometimes babies need to cry and be left alone to cry and understand that feeling. You also need to be able to listen to him cry for more than a second. I remember at 6months moving my little girl into her own rm,& out of mine. and it took a week of listening to her cry herself to sleep at night. Talk about agonizing. But each night, I would time her, and each night the time she cried was shorter and shorter. They need to be able to self soothe a bit. Not neglecting them. With my twins I had learned a few things w/their sister. They were moved at 3 mnths, before they realized the pattern. And they never cried once during the transition. Just remember, no one before you was given a book on parenting. Just strive to be the best mommy you can be, and try to remember what you don't want to be like as a mom. And like everyone on here has said, the fact that you are concerned and asking, shows you are already a great mom. Good Luck and Congrats! Welcome to the world of Motherhood where we always wonder if we are doing the best thing for our children. As long as you remember to ask yourself this on occasion, you're doing your best.

Hayley - posted on 01/17/2011

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loved using my baby swing. Found it really helpful as I could move it from room to room, get on with what needed doing and keep an eye on the baby....really handy :)

Danielle - posted on 01/17/2011

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i loved the swing, i have twin girls and they loved their swing and bouncer, and often slept in them most of the day. i tried not too hold them too much, i was worried they wouldnt want to ever be put down and i only have 2 arms lol. i also loved the bumbo seats, they can be put in them as soon as they're big enough to hold up their head, my girls loved those and so did I. they can be a bit pricey so check them out on craigslist if you want one. but try to google the bumbo seats and check them out, they help them to sit up and make playtime for both of you easier. goodluck!!

Jami - posted on 01/17/2011

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Do to severe reflux and respiratory problems the first year, my son had to sleep in his swing or car seat for many months because he could not sleep laying flat. I had a swing that did the traditional front and back swing, but would also swing side to side.

Even though he had to be in it hours a day, he still loved to go in it. He's in first grade now and is a normal 7 year old boy. He loves to cuddle and is very caring. I worried about it quite a bit because he spent so much more time in there than my daughter did, but all the worry was for nothing.

Charlie - posted on 01/17/2011

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If your baby doesn't mind then it's ok , just enjoy the free hands time , you are not neglecting your baby neglecting them would be leaving them in the swing to cry and scream and that isn't the case here .

Juli - posted on 01/16/2011

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Use the swing also there are play mats to lay them on my daughter loved hers. It helps them become more independent even when they are that young cause before you know it he will be 2 and you will even have a harder time putting him down then.

Tania - posted on 01/16/2011

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Hi, number 1 - do what feels right. you're doing a fab job. think about getting a carrier like a hugabub, or ergo / boba - just not a baby bjorn. (not real great for bubs support or hip development - look it up.
I dont' agree with Tasha, but that's my take, you'll find what you feel comfortable with.
at this tiny age, babies are learning lifelong skills called trust and love. my dd1 was quite unsettled, and was held a lot, if i could get to her i let her know i was coming, we slept together too, people told me I was making a rod for my back etc etc.... maybe someone else does see a child depending on and trusting their parent as a bad thing... we have a great relationship at almost 4, and she's far from clingy anymore... as for bed sharing, sure, she comes into our bed occasionally, has had her own single bed since she was 1.5years. i love it! And i KNOW she won't be doing it when she's 15!!
if your baby is content, those moments you put baby down can be examples for the love and trust you have, in that when you respond straight away, he's getting to know you will be there when he needs you.
Mama Love xx

Angela - posted on 01/16/2011

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I have three children and everyone of them loved to be in their swings. Do not feel bad. My second was a very cranky baby and would only sleep during the day in her swing she settled right down and sometimes she would just sit there looking around. You need some time for you you are doing nothing wrong.

Kellilyn - posted on 01/14/2011

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i have 3. all loved their swings-thank God. don't just do it so you can do housework---take a NAP! have a cup of coffee....take some time for you-it will make you a better mommy-i promise!

Holley - posted on 01/13/2011

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No hun it is not. I did the same thing with my son when he was that age. That was the only way i could get anything done. He loves the sounds and everything. You are not a bad mother for doing that so you need to stop thinking that. Just do what you feel is right for your son and you. that is all i can say.

Liz - posted on 01/13/2011

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My daughter is just a year old now but was three months premature. As a result she had to have home based occupational therapy for ages - just about to finish with it. The OT said many times that challenging babies against gravity, e.g. with swings, is wonderful for their development.



Imagine a pyramid for developmental stages. Vestibular development, which is to do with balance centres and your inner ear, is one of the primary things at the bottom. The more 'balance training', i.e. spinning and swinging, that your baby gets, the better for him/her. A baby usually loves it anyway, as long as you are within sight/hearing.



The OT asked me how often my baby spent in the swing every day and I said 'about two hours'. She wanted me to double that at the very least.



Hope that helps!

Olivia - posted on 01/12/2011

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Swings are not neglect. They are there to make your life easier. Babies love them! Plus, you don't want the baby to get used to being held all the time because thats all that it'll want. Do not feel guilty.!

Christi - posted on 01/11/2011

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Oh please! My son's bouncer was my best friend! I had no one to help me out and I was trying to heal from a horrible c-section that tore open twice while cleaning house, doing laundry, cooking, ect. I would put him in his bouncy seat, turn on the vibrator and the music and he would squeal. He would usually fall asleep too and I would move him to his crib. It is not a bad thing at all, no person has their kid on their hip 24/7.

Masterson - posted on 01/11/2011

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if he is content in it then let him spend some time in it trust me u gonna need all the spare time u can get

Katie - posted on 01/11/2011

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Hunny....you are not a bad mother at all. There is nothing wrong with having him in the swing while he is sleeping or just looking around. As long as he is okay....its okay to let him be in his swing so that you can do whatever you have to do. When my son was first born....i'd have him in his swing so that i could clean the house and do laundry and put clothes away. He knows you love him and that's all that matters.

Amber - posted on 01/11/2011

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Babies just like adults need some alone so when they are sitting in a swing, or just woke up in there crib, or even putting them on the floor for tummy time is good for them. And i know its hard but letting him sit and cry for a few minutes not being held will not hurt him either, finish the task you were doing before you get him. he will learn how to self sooth and know when he's older that you will be there when your done so you wont be interupted and you can finish your tasks in a reasonable time. But yes very early on they should be getting a lot of time with you it helps both of you be connected to eachother.

Laura - posted on 01/11/2011

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My swing was my savior. I have a little travel one that I can take to the bathroom so I can take a shower, easily move to the kitchen to do dishes and down to the laundry room. And that's where my youngest slept when we went on vacations. It's the greatest little thing.

If you feel like you want your baby close (which I totally understand the feeling) then maybe try a wrap or sling when you are doing basic stuff around the house. My kids just loved watching me do things from their swing or jumper too.

You're doing great, keep it up!!

Missy - posted on 01/11/2011

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You are in no way a bad mother! It's totally OK (in my opinion) to use a baby swing. Part of being a new Mommy is figuring out how to make everything "work." When Lila was born she was very colicy and I used the swing a lot. To make life run smoothly you have to find ways to get things done around the house, take care of baby and take care of you. Easier said than done! Your baby learns a lot just sitting there by himself sometimes. It sounds to me like you are giving him all the attention he needs and more. Remember to stay as relaxed as you can and don't be afraid to ask for help. You are just a new mother! We all went through this too! It gets much more clear as the months roll on. You are doing a great job! Trust your instincts!

Kristy - posted on 01/11/2011

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You are NOT a bad mother!!! I went through the same thing when my son was born, I never wanted to put him down but had so many things that really needed to get done... If he is content and happy looking around and checking things out he is just fine!! Now, I have seen some babies who are pretty much bald in the back of thier little heads because they have been laid on their back for long periods of time and that makes my heart hurt for those children, its one thing to have some hair missing back there, my son did, but it was also because when he was in his cradle or swing he would move his head back and forth and watch me work or play peek-a-boo with him :) As long as your little guy is taken care of and he knows you are there for him when he needs you, dont feel bad!!!!! Congratualtions by the way on your new little beautiful baby boy! :))))) God Bless :)

Lorena - posted on 01/11/2011

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no guilt!!! They are great at soothing....babies love them and sometimes need some alone time which they appreciate. Like everything else the key is to find a balance when you use it.

Johnny - posted on 01/10/2011

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Take it easy on yourself. Anyone asking a question like this is clearly not neglectful in the slightest.

The swing was not really my style, although I did use a bouncy chair for my daughter when I was in the shower. It kept her happy & me not stinky.

I was a baby-wearer. I used a few different types, a wrap, a Snugli, an Ergo and even a borrowed sling for a while. It worked well for me, kept my daughter close, allowed me to rest my arms, and still get things done. It is a good choice for some moms and some babies. Not everyone feels comfortable wearing them and not every baby likes being in them. But it's definitely worth a shot, especially if the swing starts loosing it's charm as he gets older.

We can not possibly hold on to our babies 24/7, no matter what the parenting experts tell us or some nosy nelly says. There is nothing at all wrong with putting them down for a few minutes to rest your arms, get a break, or get a chore done. It's not like we're still living outside in caves with the threat of wild animals snatching them. I'm sure he'll be just fine. And I don't doubt that he can feel those loving vibes coming from you across the room. You are doing a wonderful job :)

Bonnie - posted on 01/10/2011

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It is a form of entertainment for your baby, so don't feel guilty. You technically can't hold him 24/7 and even if you would want to, you would go crazy. You need some time here and there when you can to get a few things done. Just relax, take a deep breath, you are doing well.

[deleted account]

hey, go easy on yourself! Just from what you've written I can tell you're a great mom. You can can leave him there as long as he's happy and safe. Enjoy your free time and don't be so hard on yourself. Your a lucky mom cause you got a calm baby!

Alexis - posted on 01/10/2011

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Neglect would be keeping your child in the swing even when he is crying, not feeding him, not changing his diaper and not checking on him. He seems happy and you are constantly checking in with him. You are not neglecting him by any means. If you need a break or need to get something done and he is happy then don't worry about it, and if you want to hold him and not do the chores, then do that too! Either way your little one sounds happy, content and well taken care of. Think about it, if you had more than one child you couldnt hold them both and pay attention to them both all the time and so the little one may need to stay in a swing while you attend to the other child, so by leaving him in the swing when he is sleeping or happy with it you are not doing anything wrong.

Erin - posted on 01/10/2011

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If they will sleep in their swing that's great. The transition from swing to crib may be hard later, but that's later. If he's just chillin in his swing and looking around, that's good. He needs to take things in. But if you want to hold him and talk to him and feel like you should be holding him more then do it. Everyone's parenting style is different. If you don't feel right with him being in his swing as much as he is, then pick him up. That's your momdar going off. Good luck!

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You are NOT a bad mother. With that said unless you plan on staying home with him all the time I think you need to put him down more. Once he goes into daycare he will spend up to 2/3 of his time on the floor with the other babies or in a crib. (I don't care what daycares or providers say I am telling you the truth.) If you are constantly holding him he will expect it and want it all the time. He will also take longer to push himself up, crawl and walk. Right now as he is a newborn hold him all you want. As he starts trying to hold his head up give him at least 2 hours of tummy time each day. (not all together & when he is awake) You are just used to him ALWAYS being with you and that is understandable. Get things done around the house while he is sleeping or even playing, or watching his surroundings. He will be fine. Check on him all you want and more sometimes. It is a sign that you are good mom. :)

Momof1 - posted on 01/10/2011

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You are doing great. You aren't a bad mother. You hold him when he wants to be held and when you need to get things done, you place him in a safe place. I'm guilty of holding my son "too much" when he was younger. I held him or had him with me all the time. But I never liked cleaning (lol) so I never really left him alone, unless he was sleeping in his crib. I'm also guilty of holding him while he was sleeping. But I just couldn't put him down and there's not much for a new mom, who is at home to do all day.
If I were you, I'd try to be with him while he is awake, though. Because of him being a newborn, they aren't awake for long periods of time and if you are with him and read or sing to him, he will start recognizing things. Also, tummy time is important, even if he doesn't like it. Start with 5 minutes in the morning and the afternoon. I never had a sling, but maybe you could carry him around with you while you cleaned. Everybody says you should rest when your baby naps. I was never able to just fall asleep, no matter how tired I was. Maybe you can clean while he takes one nap, rest during his second nap, clean during his third nap... or something along those lines. When I wanted to get laundry done and my son was too little for the swing, I would put him in his crib and turn on his mobile. The music only lasted a minute or two, but I would do as much as I could, rush back upstairs to turn it back on and rush some more. (That was pretty good exercise. lol) And I'd do that for a total of 5 times, unless he was getting fussy before that. But he loved it and he danced to the music.

Raminder - posted on 01/09/2011

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You are not a bad mother at all. We all put our babies in the swing. You won't believe it, but there was time when my son would only sleep if we put him in the swing. He is 9 1/2 months old and still sleeps in the swing few days in a week...Lol

Jessica - posted on 01/09/2011

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two words: MOBY WRAP. you can hold him and do house work at the same time when he is awake. your baby will tell you what he needs. if he is unhappy with the swing he will let you know. babies are born to communicate their needs by crying and fussing. if you are meeting his needs when he does this and spend some time with him when he is awake by talking and playing with him and other times he is left to entertain himself, you are doing fine. but i would get the moby wrap. you can google it and a few sites will tell you all about it! you can hold him next to your chest and he will hear heart and your breathing (two things he heard the last nine months in your womb) while you do house work or what ever and your arms won't get tired and he will be perfectly happy awake in it and you will still be interacting with him and bonding with him at the same time while you get stuff done around the house. it sounds to me like you believe a little in attachment parenting... i would look up that too.

Ambyr - posted on 01/09/2011

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Congrats!, I did the same thing with my daughter when she was born...I paid for it later on haha. When she started to get older around 7 months if I put her down for anything she would scream and I would have to pick her up. She became extremely clingy and it took me awile to get her to stop. It was because I picked her up all the time. I never wanted to put her down. She was so cute to me .So with my son I didnt feel guilty about putting him down. He would either be in a swing or in a little chair. I wouldnt feel bad about it at all.

Casey - posted on 01/09/2011

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Swings are awsome and definitley not neglecting your baby, if it means that you get to get the house work done and the baby is happy then go for it, I don't think theres anything wrong with them :)

Shannon - posted on 01/09/2011

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ther is a video and it is called the happiest baby on the block the DR that made the video said that to sawadle and put your baby in the swing because it is the movment like inside the womb turn it on high we use the swing because we are not extended familys any more and no come to hold the baby when you need to get things done it used to be that way but we need to bable to do things without being attached. ther are also people who belive in baby wearing get a MOBI wrap and stick your baby in and they are content then you have your hands free and they are next to you at the same time I loved mine

[deleted account]

When my son was that tiny he would sleep in his swing for hours...I remember wondering if that was going to affect his posture! How funny it is to think of those thoughts now...your baby is fine and it's okay to put him down....don't feel guilty you are not a bad mother....sure you want to hold him because he's tiny and snuggly however if he's clean, warm and fed he's perfectly content....I used to lay down on the sofa and just watch my son swing back and forth and that would put me to sleep!

Jane - posted on 01/09/2011

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If the child is content and you are not leaving him there withouth interaction for hours, it's fine. Relax and enjoy your baby, it goes fast!

Amanda - posted on 01/09/2011

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Hey girl! No, You are NOT a bad mom. I did the same thing. If i did not have a swing or bouncer i would not of got any of my house work done. Newborn babys need lots of sleep when he needs you, You will know. You are a good mommy... :-)

Leslie - posted on 01/09/2011

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babies sleep most of the time anyways...when he wants you he'll let you know. i heard that the rocking motion is super soothing to babies because it reminds them of being in the womb. and if you feel like he's been in there too much, take a break and give him some extra cuddles. trust me enjoy the time while you have it, because when he gets bigger...you are going to be one busy moma!

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