Are there any SAHM out there that have older children?

[deleted account] ( 13 moms have responded )

I have been a SAHM of 3 off & on for over 19 yrs. My youngest is 10 yrs. old. I feel like I am looked down on because I am still at home even though my kids are older & in school full-time. I often get questions as to why I am still at home, when I will be going back to work and some have even tried to find me a job without my asking for that help! Would love some support from other moms in this situation! :)

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Lady Heather - posted on 09/30/2011

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I'm not there yet, but I think I will be one day. My husband is out of town for work a lot and when he's in town it's long hours. I just think our lives would be really stressful if I was working too, regardless of where the kids are all day. I like the idea of being home when my kids get home and helping out with field trips and after school activities. I look forward to being able to really get control over this crazy house, keep up with repairs, have an awesome veggie garden again...I really don't know why this doesn't appeal to more people. Ha.

Heather - posted on 10/13/2011

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My oldest is 17 my middle child is 15 and my youngest is almost 7. I get the same questions all the time. I just reply that I have the most important job in the world. I believe that when I decided to become a mother it was my duty to stay home and take care of my children, and I love it. I didn't miss their first words or their first steps. I don't have to miss things at school because I work. I have no intention of returning to work outside the home.

Regina - posted on 10/02/2011

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I have been a SAHM for 14 yrs! I have a 15yr old son, 14 yr old son, 12 yr old son, 9 yr old daughter, and the last a 13 month old daughter!!! Whew! Enough said! No really! A mothers job is never done! If you really want to be important in your child's life than you need to be there for them! It is a lot of hard work and more give than take ... But just think when they grow up they will Thank you for being there for them and not letting them get away with anything! My cousins are always like you need to get a job, they don't need you ... I'm like ( in my head ) that is why your 12 yr old is on Facebook cursing and acting a fool and you don't say anything , because you are no there for him... Be happy in the choice you have made it is your life!!!

Tamyra - posted on 10/02/2011

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I have 3 children, 15,17 and a 19 month old. I stayed at home 3 years with my first one and had to work after my 2nd out of financial need. When our 19 month old was born we decided I would stay home because we were doing ok financially and daycare is so expensive. At first I missed work, but then I look at her and I realized I am where I need to be for now and I won't miss anything. I think you deserve your time and you should do with it what you want. I may never go back to work unless my husband needs me to. Being a mom doesn't stop because they get older. You definety have my support!

Angie - posted on 10/02/2011

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My oldest is 13 and youngetst is 8, with one in between and I totally agree with Andrea, that is the reason I stay home still. I see some of the things my kids friends are doing and am thankful I am still able to be here for my kids. Thank you Candy for starting this post, now I really don't feel so alone.

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DeAnn - posted on 10/04/2011

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I get asked the same questions! I was a single mother of 2 for several years & had to work TWO jobs to make ends meet. When I remarried & moved, we decided I would not work so I could volunteer at the girls new schools & take them to after school activities. I concider this my "job". My oldest is now almost 19 & my youngest is 14! I am able to fit in my own hobbies more now these days & am loving it!

[deleted account]

Thank you to all you ladies that responded! I truly feel supported now and can go about my business with my head held a little higher now! :)

Andrea - posted on 10/01/2011

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My older son is 12, my younger is 9. I plan to stay home as long as we can afford it. Whenever I'm asked why I'm still home, I say that my kids need me home now more than ever and go on to site the scary statistics. 9 out of 10 teen pregnancies occur between the hours of 3 and 6pm, when both parents are at work. That preteen and early teen kids need to know that a parent is supervising. My friends who work have no idea what's going on in their kids' lives. I volunteer in both the elementary and middle schools. I've met all their friends and teachers. My sons know that I'm in the loop on school info. While kids don't need to be rocked to sleep, diapers changed or breastfed, they need their moms just as much in the preteen/early teen years.

Kate - posted on 10/01/2011

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My kids aren't as old as yours but I stayed at home even before we had kids... it's a personal choice and actually nobody's business. I find it offensive that someone would try to find you a job - good grief!
I do a ton of stuff around the house and have lots of hobbies!
I truly believe that being a Mom is the most important job in the world and if you can do it full-time, why not?

Tamara - posted on 10/01/2011

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One thing I don't think people realize its still hard to do, its just different, yes we have part of the day when we are say home with out the children because they are in school, but there is still volunteering at schools, a lot of us do a lot of the deeper housework, as Heather said gardening, other things that its harder to do with kids around. So we are more freed up when the kids get home for practices, home work, helping them with projects, and things around the house with them.

So It isn't easy I don't think it ever will be until the last one goes off to college.

Tamara - posted on 09/30/2011

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My youngest is 7 almost 8 I just tell them that I am happy taking care of my family and at this point in my families life we are all happy with the things are going.

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