Are we too old to keep TTC?

Jaclyn - posted on 01/09/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I was 26, 28 and 31 when I had my children. I assumed I would conceive easily and deliver our 4th baby when I was 33 and my husband 35. Unfortunately that did not happen and its been devastating for me. I'm grateful for the 3 I have, but I feel like I'm supposed to have a 4th child. It's been 3 years of TTC and failed IVF due to implantation (my embryos look "perfect"). I'm now 36 and my husband is 38. I just worry that we're beginning to be older. What's it like to have a child in your late 30s? I feel like I may need to begin preventing pregnancy once my husband turns 39, because that means he'll be 40 by the time the baby is born. We always wanted to be young parents, but we look around and it appears as though men father babies at 40. Desperate for one more...

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Winkelmanje - posted on 01/15/2016

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NO. It's that simple. If you feel you and your husband are healthy enough and can provide what another child needs, there does not need to be a time limit.

Melanie - posted on 01/14/2016

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Can't believe I'm 40 this year! Married 2008, first baby 2010, second 2012 and third 2014 ... I would dearly love a fourth but I don't think my body is cooperating.
I was told very early on as a teen that I wouldn't be able to conceive having Polycystic ovaries ... The literally look like a bunch of grapes, how anything like an egg is released from there leaves me baffled.
All my babies are girls and were naturally conceived. My hubby is three years younger than I.
And no we're not trying for a boy lol after three girls I wouldn't know what to do lol.
So in a nutshell my friend, age does not matter! It's all to do with you and your health and wellbeing ... All the very best!

Eva - posted on 01/13/2016

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I had my first at 37 and will have my second at 39 this July. My son is now 16 months old. So far, my pregnancy has been smooth and my first was as well. Healthy babies and healthy mom!

I understand your concern but I think a lot of the things experts say about older women having babies is hugely overblown and just creates a lot of fear in the hearts of women. I know it did with me. While I would have preferred to be a bit younger with my first, I didn't meet my husband until 4 years ago so it couldn't have happened earlier for me.

As others have said, I would be open to a 4th child but not put pressure on yourself to conceive. I didn't try with my second at all and I conceived faster with less effort than with my first. I think I was stressing too much with getting pregnant with my first so it took longer.

Jodi - posted on 01/11/2016

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I was almost 36 and my husband almost 40 when we had our youngest. She is now 10 and is an absolute bright spark in our lives. I had my oldest when I was 28. I quite like having one older - I think I have more time to enjoy it and I am less stressed, more experiences and probably able to enjoy it more.

I agree with Michelle. Stop TTC and just enjoy what you have and if you happen to conceive, great. But if you don't, well, that's what was meant to be.

Jaclyn - posted on 01/11/2016

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Thank you. Deep down I know that's the right approach. We've been blessed with 3 and all the time and emotional energy spent on fertility treatments has taken precious time away from the 3 I've already been blessed with. I just lay awake at night and think about that 4th child...and his/her potential spouse...and their children (my grandchildren)... and I want them in my life. I just need to let these things go.

Michelle - posted on 01/10/2016

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My husband was 41 and I was 35 when I had my 3rd. The age of Dad doesn't matter as much as the age of Mum. Your eggs are older, the body in general is older and carrying a baby is hard on the body.
You're not too old but my advice is to stop TTC. Have fun and if it happens, it happens. If not then it's not meant to be. The more you put pressure on yourselves to fall pregnant the longer it takes (if at all).

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