Are you serious?

Ronniesha - posted on 01/16/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am the mother of 8, and my husband has 3 by a previous marriage. I have been taking care of his children for over 5 years. I've never physically met theis biological mother, yet she curses me out at will when I try to get her to spend time with her(remember their hers) children. her youngest daughter is 13 and cries all the time.... What do you think I should do? The father isn't handling it at all!!!

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Chelsea - posted on 01/16/2010

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drop it then, i was the kid that went through it, and i never understood why step parents tired to make things right.. it was pointless, and it cost more drama, and it DOES stress the kids out. if the mom doesn't want to spend time with the kids, then screw it. make her be the mom, on those issues, not you. you care about your family, not what she needs with her kids, you be their mother. they'll see when they're older what was wrong and what was right and what she did for them and what you did for them. its just more things for you to stress about and it sound slike you dont need it. my dad wasn't a help either on that spot because he was like.. i told you so.. so now step mom feels like she wasted a bunch of her life trying to do what she thought was right, when my mother had her own way to show her love to me, if i didn't have them yelling at eachother, when even if they tried to keep it tothemselves, it was always known by me, i would of had a heck of a better life, i had migranes starting at the 6th grade, and my step mom didn't understand kids that young could go through stress.. because their kids! doc, told her wrong, of corse it was stress, the family fell apart, now the family cant get along, and the kids feel like its THIER fault! always!. so drop it. love the kids like your own, like the other mother cant. dont talk crap about anyone that they love and should love infront of them, let them know that everythings ok. who cares if she talks smack to them, just fight back with love love love. thats what THEY need. if the mom doesn't want those moments with her children, dont let them know, she be there like she sould be. because when they're older, like 19 life wil change when they remember and finally realize why things were the way they were, and it is a relief to know that someone did their best to care on top of it, and it was you.

Krystal - posted on 01/16/2010

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Wowsers so your looking after 11 kids? You are super mum. Have you spoken to the other mum? I think dad needs to step up and say something. Her poor kids. Do they not see her at all?

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[deleted account]

I have not been in this situation before, but I just felt that I needed to show my compassion for you raising 11 children!! and in my opinion, I think it is really sad that the mom won't spend time with her kids. I have a friend that is raising two kids that aren't hers also, they are much younger, but the mom is a "deadbeat" and my friend really doesn't even want those kids going over to their moms, because it just causes more problems when they come back. She looks at it like, she has raised them from babies and the mom has never been there, so why should she be now?? I think you should just keep doing what you are doing and YOU be a mom to the 13 yr. old girl and the rest of them. You don't have to be the biological Mother to be her MOM!! Just show her the love that she needs and hopefully one day when she gets older she will be able to mend the relationship with her biological mom. I will be praying for your situation :)

[deleted account]

This is a very sad situation for the children and I'm sure they feel very abandoned by her. Their dad needs to step and up and handle it. He should talk to her and no way should she be allowed to curse you out. The mother either wants to see her children or not. If she chooses to be out of the picture then I would cut her out. She's probably doing more harm than good. Do your best to provide her children with the love and support they need. Sounds like you are the only mom they'll ever have to count on. God bless you!

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