As a mum what is your worst fear?

Char - posted on 12/07/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have been surviving on deaths door for so long that fear no longer lived in my home. Then last year after 20 years my hubby and I got pregnant. It was a miracle and now we have a thriving 9month old happy wee boy and now an unwanted visitor has returned. FEAR. Since my sons birth I am afraid of losing my son, him losing me, not being a good mum and so on. I am not quite sure right now what my worst fear is as a mum but I would be interested to hear yours.

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S. - posted on 12/07/2012

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Maybe you should talk to a councillor if your worried its too much?

Without wanting to put words in your mouth you probably have gotten so overwhelmed with the love for your child due to the fact that you have been so ill and never expected him, and Imagine you feel like good things don't happen to you and now you have the best thing in the world, surly something must go wrong!

I think feeling like you do being in your situation is completely normal but you just need to not let it spiral out of hand and not let it effect your life's. worrying isn't going to stop shitty things happening it will only make your life not as good as it should be :)

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Kelly - posted on 12/09/2012

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Charlotte,I would have to say that as a mother my worst fear is something happening to Hunter,something happening to me or something happening to my husband and now being pregnant something happening to this child.



As a mum just like you I want the best for my boy,I want to see him happy and healthy and strong,I want to watch him grow along side my husband and see our family expand,I want my boy to have a mother and a father,together.



My biggest fear is if my son got hurt like really hurt a scrapped knee is a part of growing up but I mean something serious or for something bad to happen to me or Ryder leaving him mother or farther less or even worse both.



I want my baby boy to grow up in a safe happy family environment with the best life that we can provide him with lots of memory's to look back on and my fear is anything jeopardising that! Just like when Hunter tries to climb out of his crib my mine immediately thinks what would happen if he fell and so on and it makes my heart skip a beat.But one of our biggest challenges as mommys is to let them fall,to let them grow,and not to let our fear get in the way of them exploring,learning and growing! (Obviously,when I say let them fall I mean to not wrap them in bubble rap and but them in a big plastic bubble)



This is in my opinion the biggest fear and to not let my fear get in the way of hunter growing up is just my opinion. :)

Char - posted on 12/08/2012

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Thank you for your lovely comment but I feel that I have given the wrong impression. I was merely making an observation and more interested in whether other mums have similar thoughts as I do. Yes you are quite right I do have an overwhelming love for my son. I am an extremely positive person which is why when I was given only weeks to live 5 years ago instead of writing my funeral I wrote a list of 100 things I always wanted to do. On that list was the dream of having a child with my wonderful husband and best friend. In fact it was number one. A lot of people got hope from my attitude and that just spurred me on. My hubby used to work long hours as a chef and I had always dreamed that he would be able to have more free time. He decided that instead of the hospice he would take me home and help me achieve as many things on my list as he could. He moved us up to a micro climate in the mountains away from the stress of the world and started healing me with love, positivity and laughter, organic food hydrotherapy and natural medicine. I began to improve and after a year through all this and hard work I began to walk and talk again. All this made me see the positive in all that had happened to me. I guess that I had learned to live life on my own terms and my life became truly magical. Then I got pregnant and was forced to spend a lot of time in hospital with my medical team always on edge waiting for something bad to happen. When my son was born via emergency c section we both almost died which only strengthened our bond that much more. He spent a while in NICU but still was discharged before me. Instead of being able to relax after we brought him home we were forced to move from our sanctuary due to our home being unliveable after the earthquakes and I began to feel fearful about a lot of things. Usually I would be hooning around on my quad bike with my hubby in the mountains or horse or wave riding but I feel jittery and unable to even risk it in case I get hurt. Also just before I was pregnant I had a relapse and when I began blacking out everyone else expected the worst. In hospital they actually discovered that I was 20 weeks pregnant and that he had saved me by putting my illnesses into remission. After he was born my ob said the only miracle that could maybe trump ours in shocking her was a patient that had come to her with stomach complaints but had had her ovaries removed. She was pregnant and now her son is in her 30s. She said that I may have another because she has no idea how I got pregnant in the first place. Apart from the obvious haha. So you see I do understand why I am so fearful it just is a very foreign feeling for me. I just wondered if other first time mums feel that way anyway just from the fact of being a mum.

Char - posted on 12/07/2012

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Thank you. I am glad to hear that I am not the only one with an amazing husband. I know my son would have a great life with his dad if I was no longer here but it makes me wonder why it took so long for him to come. I guess all that matters is that he did. Like you said about your hubbies experience I would not like to make my son suffer because I have become so fearful. Any suggestions?

S. - posted on 12/07/2012

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I think it has to be something happening to them, I've always made sure that my hb is as capable as me in taking care of them, although it would be the same and god forbid my children loose me but i know they can be cared for well.



My mil lost her mum and aunt and dad at a early age she was so scared to love my hb because everyone she loved she lost so she pushed him away in turn he suffered because of her fear, I think natural fear is fine, we all worry but I think that fear can corse so many problems if you don't keep them under wraps.

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