Ask a Question!does anyone have 2 kids close in age that fight consantly

Nicole - posted on 02/20/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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i have 2 girls that are 13months apart oldest is turing 8 next week and youngest is 6 and they fight consantly and trying to always out do the other and its neverending i just want to run away sometimes

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Mellisa - posted on 02/20/2010

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Yes me too. I have 2 boys ages 12 and 10 and they get into violent fights at times when I have to be a referee. I have always encoureged team work in my home and not competitive behavior because my husband and his sister competed constantly when they were young and I want my kids to be close. A little bickering is normal but all out fights?? I'm at my wits end as well. I just try to keep up with my beliefs and enforcing them hoping that it will make a difference eventually. Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 02/20/2010

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Oh Nicole.. I feel your pain!! ((HUGS))

My daughters are 6 & 8 also. They fight like cats and dogs. They're constantly competing with one another. They're forever yelling at each other, along with the physicals fights and the tattling. I would swear that they hate each other if it weren't for the fact that I was the exact same growing up with my brother and we were the same distance in age as my girls.

In my opinion, unfortunately, there's not much that can be done. It's that notorious love/hate relationship kind of thing. Siblings who are close in age often spend their entire childhoods competing with one another. In some ways it's completely natural. So please know and feel relieved that you are not the only stay at home mom with kids who just can't get along!

If I may make a suggest that may help your girls get along better it's this .. Try finding several activities that require team work and problem solving, but that the children would enjoy even for a short amount of time. When you're finding that they're fighting is escalating to a point where it is getting out of control (hitting, slapping, screaming, etc..), try sitting them down and asking them to do X activity that you've planned for them. It will force them to work together and problem solve in a manner that will help them to see that they can spend quality time together without the need to compete and argue. It will also give you peace of mind that they don't hate each other and you'll really enjoy watching them enjoy their time together as sisters.

If that doesn't work, or you simply don't have the time to plan anything right away, separating the girls will work. It doesn't last forever, nothing does, but it will temporarily solve the problem. Make them write lines.. my mother did that with my brother and I growing up and it worked wonders. We wrote things like "I do not hate my brother, and I will show him respect and appreciation.".

Hope that helps!

Adrienne - posted on 02/20/2010

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My boys are 12 months exactly to the day apart. They are only 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 years old. I'm not where you are yet and I'm hoping that my boys won't get like that. But my oldest already for no apparent reason will go to my little guy and hit him or push him and no matter what we do as a punishment he just doesn't seem to care. He'll just turn around and do it again. But besides the few times that he does that they have been growing closer and closer to each other. How were your girls when they were little? Your little girls remind me of my sister and I. I'm going to be 26 and she's going to be 24 and we still don't get along when we see each other.

Stacy - posted on 02/20/2010

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Oh heck yes. When does it stop. My kids are 20, 19, 17, and 16. Constantly fighting. All the time. UHG!!!!!

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My daughter & son are 11 months apart and they are always at each other as well, lol! But it really only started they started sharing room just before our third was born. We just moved into a bigger house, and they're still sharing a room until my daughter's is done, but I've noticed since having a bit more space they're not at each other's throats as much!! Maybe they just need some space apart?

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Michelle - posted on 02/20/2010

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My 2 oldest 14yrs and 12 yrs. fight all the time, they just have to look at the other one and fighting starts. My older nephews assure me this will end 1 day when they get older in their 18-20yrs. then they start liking each other. Ugh who wants to wait that long.

Nicole - posted on 02/20/2010

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thanks yall have give me some good advice i just hope it gets better i feel like im going out of my mine they do alot of things together but they end up fighting and i seperate them and they do it again but i see alot of anixtey coming from them over alot of stuff but docs dont see it and the youngest has alot of traits of ocd but docs dont belive it they say shes to young to have it i have been to alot of docs but they wont do anything what else am i suppose to do if they have these proms and the docs wont listen i feel like im failing my kids has a mother and protect its so bad that my husband cant do anything with them and the weight is on me and he works all the time

Nicole - posted on 02/20/2010

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and the oldest wants to always hit the other one i spank them that dont work time out works sometimes taking stuff away dont work what other chioces do i have and i serated them also how do i get threw to them abt the hitting and wanting to hurt one another and always screaming and holloring at each other all the time they cant play together for along period of time i have to make them go in their own rooms what other options could i try

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