At the end of my rope! Please Help!

Lisa - posted on 04/07/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hello ladies! I am looking for some much needed advice. I am a 31 year old mom of 2 boys aged 6 & 7, I have almost been married 8 years. My husband and I were very young when we got pregnant and married, We have always had one major constant struggle through our relationship and that is his mother. My husband had a very hard, emotionally, physically & mentally abused childhood from his step father which his mother stood back and allowed this to continue. I was able to somewhat turn my husband around because he is an incredible man with a lot to offer if he put effort into it. We have had our ups and downs through our realtionship but always stuck by each other through thick and tjin. 4 years ago I had gastric bypass surgery and lost 180 lbs, since then I have been even more sensitive about things, I honestly believe he resents me for "burdeing" him with his "life" I know he doesn't look at it that way but we do. He is addicted to playing his game on his phone, really affecting our realtionship as well as our children. Our oldest one really feels it and he witnesses first hand when his dad doesn't talk to me nicely or is constantly putting me down in front of him blaming me for not allowing his mother or family into our lives. I have gave his family chance after chance but his mother always ruins it and plays with my husbands head making sure he knows what a piece of crap I am. I am all out of fight and have gave him the ultimatum to leave because I would rather my children live in a happy, hostile free household then what they witness now. My husband always says he will change but it never seems to happen.. I just need to know if he admits that he won't change..is it better to leave and raise the kids without him?

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your husband needs counselling. Mine hides in games as well but won't get help. We are at the point where I have complained enough he will turn them off when I ask him to. He has basically nothing to do with his family anymore and I notice him improve when he is away from them. When they are around he mentally shuts down again. He needs to be told he needs to get over his past because you can't do it anymore. Gives him the chance to do it, you to get a game plan if he doesn't, and him to see how serious you are. I recommend him looking at the books : Toxic parents and the other book is adult children of abusive parents.
If you stay together I also recommend you reading toxic inlaws.

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