Baby boys more difficult to raise than baby girls

Grace - posted on 10/24/2010 ( 54 moms have responded )

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I have a 3 year-old daughter and a 5 month old baby boy. I'm blessed with kids of both gender but didn't realize how difficult it is to raise a baby boy. When she was a baby, my daughter was predictable and easy. When she cried, she was easily soothed, with the breast, with walks in the stroller, with the sling; and she would nap easily too, for the normal 1-2 hours. But my baby boy is fussy a lot, takes power naps since birth (unless swaddled in which he would sleep 1 hour thereabout, but now he's too big to be swaddled for fear of rolling over), and is a terrible feeder. He's always distracted and is fighting the breast all the time. I got mastitis because of the constant blocked ducts.

Moms out there - do you agree? Or what is your opinion?

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Veronica - posted on 10/25/2010

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I think boys are hard when small and easy when big. Girls are easy when small and hard when big

Tracy - posted on 10/25/2010

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I think its got to do with whether the child is the 1st or 2nd born... studies have shown that the 2nd child is a risk taker, therefore being more active and less afraid to do 'dangerous' things. The 2nd child has to compete for attention and time, so they tend to be louder and maybe cry more and fight more to get their way. We have less time for our 2nd and subsequent children, so therefore they get on with things quicker and maybe act up to get our attention.Something to think about...?

Renae - posted on 10/25/2010

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I dont think its so much of a boy vs girl thing as a baby vs baby thing. I come across lots of babies with feeding and sleeping problems and have never noticed one gender to be more difficult than the other - its just pot luck - some babies are easy and some aren't.

Psych research does show support for the theory that girls are more independent as babies and toddlers but become more dependant as they get older but boys are the opposite - they tend to start out more dependant but quickly become independant by late childhood. - That seems to be true from my limited experience.

Maria - posted on 11/21/2010

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I agree that boys are easier with my first born, he was the perfect baby, even now at 6yr, he is very responsible and independent, helps me tidy & care after the younger siblings - he is my little assistant. i have a mid girl, who is very "princess-y" ... but my youngest 21 month old boy is a total nightmare - he is into everything, always seem to bring chaos only beacuse of curiosity... boy or girl, oldest, youngest, middle child... affects them, but over all i think i boils down to individuality, they are they own personality :o)

Michelle - posted on 11/21/2010

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I have a boy and a girl, I would say that they both have their ups and downs but at different ages. They say girls are more independant and boys are lazy. my boy gave me alot of sleep when he was a baby but was difficult to tell what he wanted. whereas my girl was awake most of the timebut I knew exactly what she wanted, and as they got older she started to feed herself, use the toilet etcc earlier than what he did but got very demanding. So as I didnt really have to do much for her I had to put up with her demanding behaviour, and he didnt feed hisself but was happy to go along with whatever is going on.

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Tracy - posted on 11/15/2012

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No! I have a girl and a boy. My kids are older, but I remember when they were babies. My daughter would NOT sleep and my son would sleep so well. My daughter was fussy and my son was cool as a cucumber. The only thing that was harder with my boy than my girl when they were babies and todlers was my son had to be constantly moving playing needed a ball in his hand at all times! Nothing has changed! My daughter would play calmer with dolls and stuff! Now that they are older my daughter is 15 my son is 8! My daughter obviously being a teenager is harder! My son is a dream sweet very athletic just wants to play baseball! Any sport with a ball really! I am so blessed to have a girl and boy! I think it changes through out the years who is harder to deal with! :)

Amanda - posted on 11/17/2010

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Heck no!! I totally disagree! Lol....I have 1 boy(my oldest) and 3 girls are younger! Girls are rude, needy, whiney, difficult at times, dramatic, emotional! The list goes on and on!!! Boys are easy I think! Easier to potty train!! Easier to talk to! My son was a breeze and still is! The girls blow everything up into a BIG deal constantly! But that's my opinion!!!! :)

Maria - posted on 11/17/2010

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gender i think has nothing to do with it, i think it's more on personality of the individual - i experienced mastitis and had to stay at hospital for 4 days, it's no fun, so i found getting off breastfeeding after 2-3 months the best solution for me.

Sheena - posted on 11/15/2010

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I have two boys and two girls and the boys were much easier than the girls! You just never know how it's going to go no matter the gender. :)

Kasey - posted on 11/15/2010

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HI All! I have 3 girls 13, 6, and 2 and just had my first little boy 5 mos ago ... I couldnt believe how different he was ... my first colicky baby. There was lots of spitting up and this consistent rash on his face the first couple of months, I do breastfeed, and he didnt always nurse very well. He was also VERY gassy. I spent lots of hours crying and wondering what was wrong ... it wasnt until I went to a Breastfeeding Support Group that I was told about a milk-protein-allergy and went off of dairy for 2 weeks ... I swear it was life changing, now there is just the normal amount of spitting up, no more reflux medicine, no more rash, no more diarrhea, no more fussiness unless I eat cheese or something with dairy in it. As long as I stay away from products containing milk, which is really really hard .... he is the calm, self soothing, relaxed, happy baby that I prayed for my whole pregnancy. He just got his first tooth and that was a little trying but it didnt last to long. At this point I cant say he is any more difficult than my girls but who knows what the future will hold?

Candi - posted on 11/04/2010

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Again, its the individual. My son sees something once and picks it up. Most toddlers learn by repitition, but my son would get bored. My daughter catches on to things she is interested in, but everything else is in one ear and out the other. One thing that made my son such an easy baby, he would sleep all night from 2 weeks on, take 6-8 hour nap during the day and loved to ride in the car and smiled all the time. My daughter was the opposite. Good thing my son was born first or he might not have been here!! My daughter was (and still is) a handful.

Marija - posted on 11/04/2010

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I heard this is true! I have one boy and another one on the way, so can't really say either way. Girls seem to be faster learners though, again just from people I know.

Jami - posted on 11/04/2010

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I have 2 boys.. One 4 and the other 2 months.. The 4 yr old slept alot and I was on top of everything. Every noise every movement.. With this one I have difficulty figuring out what his cries are what his movements mean.. Its harder for me with the 2nd. Boys are easy but can be extremely difficult at times. Just keep working on it. Anymore questions just ask!!!

Candi - posted on 11/04/2010

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I have 1 boy and 2 girls. I wish my son had been twins. He was the best baby...even now he is easy going and laid back. Always been very independant and highly gifted. My oldest daughter though, extremely whiney, even now, very demanding, dependant, needs constant praise and approval and really clingy. My youngest is also clingy and i feel like I have a growth on me when she is awake! She is super smart and very stubborn! My son is the cautious one, knows the dangers, and refuses to do something stupid (he's a Boy Scout), my daughter will jump out of a plane if I let her and will do whatever to get attention. My youngest doesn't even like amusement parks b/c she is scared of almost all the rides! I don't think it has anything to do with sex. The order of birth might have a little to do with it, but I think its just the individual kid. Everybody has their own personality.

Joy - posted on 11/04/2010

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I only have a girl so far, but my sister has a boy and a girl. For her the girl's a lot harder than her son was. Her son's the first born. I think it may be more the birth order in whether one's easier to raise than the other than the gender of the child. I've heard 2nd borns are the harder ones.

Penny - posted on 11/04/2010

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i have a lil boy who is has always been brill, he is 2 now and has just started to test me a lil with his tantrums and attention seeking but im sure this will past. am expecting another lil boy and am hoping for the same sought of ease my first gave me. my friends have told me boys are alot easier than girls. my son has a very sensitive side to him he looks after his bears n dolly. helps me change nappies when i care for other children, passes them their drinks. when they cry says "whats a matter"? so yes i think maybe it is more a personality thing as others have said as my lil man seems to have what is seen as a feminine caring nature. x

Gerrie - posted on 11/04/2010

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I really don't think it has anything to do with the childs gender. all children are different

Liz - posted on 11/04/2010

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I have a set of two year old b/g twins and a son who will be four months on the 12th of this month. For the most part my sons have been more easy going for most things than my daughter. She's been stubborn about everything, but she is a very strong willed little girl. Not to say her brothers arn't strong willed lol.

Jo - posted on 11/04/2010

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I Have a boy and a girl my boy was good as baby but my girl isnt but my boy is harder work now he is older and always needs attention but my little girl will go and play on her own so i just think its the pick of the bunch really they always say your 2nd child is harder then your first

Rebekah - posted on 11/04/2010

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I've heard that... and just the opposite too. I think every child is different. I have a boy and a girl and my BOY was certainly more difficult as a baby (and a toddler), but I have friends that found their girls to be more dramatic/difficult.



This is one reason why I hate to get advice from someone that's only had one child. I know from my experience, that kids can be VERY different (no matter the sex). What works with one, does not always work for another. Good luck to you! I had my stubborn baby first, so I felt like having a baby was easy-breezy the second time around.

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I think it depends on what kind of woman you are. Some women are more "girly" and would probably find raising a daughter easier because she could relate. I only have one son, so I can't say I've tested my theory out but, I do know that I am definitely NOT a girly girl. I wear make-up MAYBE once or twice a year. The only jewelry I wear is my wedding/engagement ring. I HATE SHOPPING except for groceries and that's only if I'm by myself lol Suffice it to say, having a son suits me and I am terrified at the thought of ever having a girl.

Christie - posted on 11/03/2010

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see if he has allergies to things you are eating...try to limit your diet for awhile (easiest way to tell) to simple things (potatoes, baked chicken, rice, applesauce...very bland) and see if he does better ~

Janet - posted on 11/03/2010

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Mine opposite from yours. My son was very easy going and my daughter was and still is headstrong, strong willed and I just worked around it. .

Stifler's - posted on 11/03/2010

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I think it's the individual child to be honest. My son is a lot like you described yours.

Nikkole - posted on 11/02/2010

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i have a 3yr old boy and he WAS soo easy when he was little but now that hes into the climbing thing and jumping off stuff and HE WILL NOT USE the potty he is the hardest kid i think ive ever seen to potty train! I also have a 4month old little girl and she is WAY more fussy than my son was at her age and she ALWAYS has to be held!

Heather - posted on 11/02/2010

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I only have one, but your boy sounds like my daughter! I think it's more a difference in temperament than in sex.

A - posted on 11/02/2010

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Oh yeah...and I've also read pain tolerance in males are lower than female...so with teething and such maybe that can contribute as to why your son is fussier. I know teething for my son has been horrible and I'm always jealous when other babies pop teeth up in one night (my sons take months) and don't even frown.

A - posted on 11/02/2010

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Well I only have one son; but he has been very difficult, and much like you describe your son. He's 18 months now, and its been a hard road for an inexperienced mom. Attached parenting works best for him, he is very needy and needs almost constant attention. I"m afraid to have another child because I couldn't handle him and another one. Sometimes I fear maybe he's the good one and they get worse! LOL



I've read in books that girls are easier to soothe if they are upset. I don't know how accurate that is, but from MY experience its true with my son.



But I've heard it both ways. Another person I know has one boy and one girl. She said the girl was harder as a baby.



I know someone else who has 5 girls and 1 boy, and she just says they are all different. But even from watching their family, the boy seems to be more of a cryer and needy when he gets hurt and things like that (he's now 8).



BTW- The pulling away while eating could be teething. THat started with my son at 3 months, when he started teething. He had 2 teeth by 5 months, and he still does it now while he's eating- it just hurts to eat so he pulls away- or he wants to look around and investigate. Refuses to be covered up too. You should see the positions he tries to pull while breastfeeding as a toddler...its ridiculous! LOL he's practically doing 360 turns while still attached and playing with his legs and feet and kicking them. :)



I also now know that his teething as a baby caused his most of his sleep problems. WHen he was your sons age, he when through this thing where he couldn't lie flat and sleep. The only position he would sleep was if I was sitting and had my legs up so he was laying in my lap with his head by my knees.I had no idea what was going on. Now that my son is older, I know what it was. Teething again. We co-sleep now, and when a tooth is coming in, he'll prop himself up so he's kind of sitting up, on me to sleep. I guess it puts pressure on the nerves and makes the pain worse.

Deanne - posted on 11/02/2010

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my son, now 4, was exactly the same. I tried everything to get him to sleep, eat properly .... it was til he was a 1 maybe 1 and a half when things got better an relaxed and just went with the flow to a certain extent. my daughter now 7, was exactly the same as you say about your daughter :)
Ive just learnt and accepted that fact that they are different and each ones needs are different ... and im far more relaxed about always doing what im told i should be doing. I care more about having a happy loving child. oh and my son now at 4 ... is always hugging me telling me he loves and "your the best, mum" :) and my 7 year old daughter ... wow she great but has a 7 year old attitude to go with it hehe

Lori - posted on 11/02/2010

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I have to disagree. I think a lot of times the 2nd child is more difficult than the first, regardless of gender, just because you have a lot more going on than you did the first time around and you tend to be a bit more stressed and babies can tell. Think back to yourself as a brand new first time mom. You were probably more patient with both yourself AND the baby. Now, you feel like things should go more smoothly because you've been through it before, but in reality, babies are each individuals and they all need just as much patience and calm as the one before them did. Is your household the same now as it was when you brought your daughter home???

Teri - posted on 11/01/2010

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gosh no, but I would investigate reflux -- kids who have reflux start refusing the breast and get stressed if fed lay9ing down. reflux can be commonly caused by dairy protein intolerance... something that kids outgrow -- btu it can really be a bear early on. Had twins with this and it was harder than my daughter. that said, I don't think they were harder, I just think that their food sensitivity made life harder. once I removed dairy, they were normal, relaxed kids.

Kelly - posted on 10/29/2010

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I have a 3 year-old daughter and a 5 month old baby boy too. We have something in common. My girl was a angel before she turned 1. Right now, she is a a trouble maker. I have to watch her all the time. This can prove nothing to do with gender. My boy right now he is so good now ...sleep all night long and hoping he will not be like his sister when he turns 1.

Crystal - posted on 10/29/2010

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I feel the opposite actually. :) My son, first born (now 5) was a great baby and toddler... and my daughter on the other hand, almost 3, is a pain my rear! LOL she is all attitude, screams, throws tantrums, stubborn, etc. :) When my hubby and I try the discipline tactics that we did with our son, they don't work! I swear she is just laughing at us in her head...she gives us the hardest time. I think its definitely personality... best of luck!

Nikki - posted on 10/29/2010

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I don't have any girls, just 4 boys. When they were infants they all had distict personalities. I had one who was a sleepyhead, my last baby hardly slept at all! So it probably is just his personality. Wait till puberty I bet your girls will give you a run for the money. ;-) Then again who really knows, I don't have a girl so really no basis for comparison.

Pamela - posted on 10/29/2010

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I have always heard the opposite. My 16 month old daughter was a very difficult baby! The first year was really hard! She was extremely fussy and never slept in a car or stroller. She just screamed the whole time. Hang in there, it does get easier. My daughter is smart, and she understands a lot of stuff right away. I think the difficult babies grow up to be the smart kids:) It is nice you have your daughter to help you too. My daughter LOVES older kids.
Also, my daughter didn't always take long naps either, but she has always slept really well at night. Just be firm when it comes to him going down at night. Good luck!

Grace - posted on 10/29/2010

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Nicole, when I had my first baby, a girl, she was a dream baby. I thought I had the magic touch and knew how to handle babies easily. Then 2nd baby came and he's a boy, and nope, I don't have the magic touch at all. I love both of them of course, but it's obvious the boy is more assertive, more demanding, probably much more mischievous. This is not a post about definites, just a survey about how parents think whether baby boys might be more difficult to raise than baby girls. Thanks for your comment!

Nicole - posted on 10/28/2010

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I had a baby boy first and he was a lot more work. Then I had a baby girl and was amazed how how easy she was

Gabrielle - posted on 10/27/2010

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I have a son and daughter. I think they have been about the same as far as difficulty. The funny thing to me is everyone told me that girls are more emotional, but my son (now 1 1/2) gets his feelings hurt much easier than my daughter did! I think it has more to do with a chids personality rather than their sex.

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I think my teenage girls are MUCH harder than my sons lol. But that is different. In all I think as they get older boys are hyper and active but chill. Girls are SOOOO moody. I love them all that is just my experience. My son does have a temper but he is 14 months so no big he will learn the 9 year old boy is chill :) All children are different it isn't necessarily a gender thing :)

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I does not matter at all. Each child has there own individual personality. They can be easy or challenging wether they are male or female. At differant stages in life they present there own unique challenges. Thats why some girls are tomboys and some boys like to dress up and have tea parties.
I have a 7 yr old that is high energy and a 12 yr old that is mellow and very smart. They are both boys.
I absolutly love that each of my children are different! I love that one challenges me one day and the other is teaching me something I never knew another!
Come on moms... face it, if all our kids were easy, life would be dull : ) ...lol

Paulette - posted on 10/26/2010

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In my opinion, it's all about the personality of the child. I had a boy first and he was very easy going, loved to cuddle. He handles pain great, he once had a double ear infection and didn't complain once. Then I had a girl, she was easy going for the first few months, then got more independent, more difficult, very over dramatic. She didn't like to cuddle to much. Then I had another boy. He's alittle of both, easy going and then can be so dramatic when he doesn't get his way. That is one of my favorite things about having kids, seeing how different their personalities are. Good luck with your little one, I hope things get better.

Lisa - posted on 10/26/2010

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I have a 4 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. And our son is DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!!!! and has been the complete opposite of our daughter since the day he was born. I've been told that it does reverse when they are teenagers. We're expecting another boy in January so we'll see if it holds true.

Tiziana - posted on 10/25/2010

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I don't think it's a matter of boys vs girls, its all about personality. They are little people just like us, we are all different. I have a 11 month old boy and 6 nieces and nephews (2 girls and 4 boys), and each one as been totally different then the other since babies.
And I find my boy to be real easy. Always happy, very independent, the only time he is cranky is when he is tired, otherwise always as a smile on his little face.

Renae - posted on 10/25/2010

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Hi Grace, I agree. Girls do seem to just deal with things better, maybe it is inbuilt! I do know a few mums who had very EASY girls first and now have a baby boy and they are doing it much tougher this time.

You know what I find interesting... I have an 18mo boy and I also babysit several other babies, all the same age. I find it interesting that the girls and boys play differently already, it seems to be instinctual. The 2 little boys egg each other on to get into as much mischieve as possible but when they are playing with a girl they are much more polite and gentle. The girls are both also trying to be little caregivers and treat the boys like their babies - trying to feed them and want to help me change the boys nappies lol! It's really funny to watch.

Grace - posted on 10/25/2010

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Renae, exactly, that's what i think too. I just hear from other mommies with baby boys how their babies are such a handful and Im going through this too. But yes, I suppose girls grow up and then we parents will have different issues to deal with, puberty, appearance issues, etc. I'm just thinking if baby boys are more difficult because girls are more compliant by "nature" and boys deflect more. Maybe i just have a wonderful and sensible little girl and the boy just throws me off.

User - posted on 10/25/2010

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I have a 2 year old son and a 7mos old girl. My son started teething at 3mos old and had 15 teeth by the time he was 1 yr. My daughter just cut her 2nd tooth. Her teething is no where as near as bad as my son's. He was always in pain as a baby but even with that he always tried to be happy.
Both my son and daughter were/are very very active babies. Into everything and exploring the world around them. They both are social butterflies as well. My son LOVED to be swaddled until he was about 6mos old and my daughter didn't want to be swaddled after 2mos old.
Not sure how much of their differences are boy VS girl or just difference between babies. I watch a 5mos old baby girl and she is the crankiest thing out there. She takes short naps, grazes with her bottle, and isn't able to entertain herself yet with toys. (Both of my kids were able to do this at 5mos old)

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/24/2010

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I would say the opposite, but in truth its all about personality of a baby….
I have two sons, and a 2nieces that I am close to.
My oldest niece who is 8…was known as the “Hollering” baby…NO ONE wanted to watch her…because she cried all the time…until she was around 1…now she still continues to whine…LOL
My other 1 year old niece..is very weary of strangers. she will cry if you get to close and she doesn’t know you, she will also frown at you and give you a mean look…

My oldest son who is 7…was a easy baby…he didn’t smile all the time, but he didn’t cry much either…he was in between..to say the least
My baby boy..is known as the “Smiling” baby…he will smile at most strangers…and give huge smiles to people he knows…he is generally happy, and self-entertaining…unless he’s hungry…

So I believe it just depends on personality from an early age…

Alyssa - posted on 10/24/2010

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I have one boy and two girls. Through all three of them I would say my little man was the easiest. But he has a very easy going personality. One of my little girls is just a very dramatic girl, whatever emotion she is feeling is doubled or overreacted. No matter the emotion, happy, sad, etc.

I think it all depends on the child:s personality and health, and nothing on the gender.

I hope things improve with your fussy baby boy.

Melissa - posted on 10/24/2010

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Kind of sounds like your boy might either be overtierd or mave a bit of reflux...our boy when he is overtired fusses so much when he eats! He also was a power napper but I did some sleep trainging tch. and now for the most part he is an excelent napper and much happier! He also had reflux...for that look for other signs like arching his back when he eats, lots of spit up, coughing after or while eating! Maybe try sleep training...i swore by it... kind of changed our life...lol!

Bonnie - posted on 10/24/2010

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I have two boys so it is kind of difficult to give an honest opinion, but I have been told by many who have boys and girls that they actually feel girls are more difficult to raise. I think overall it depends on the aspects a person is looking at though. Like for example, boys in most cases are more difficult to potty train.

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