baby mama , im so exhausted :/

Yammejia2 - posted on 09/27/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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here is a little bit of what im going through. its been so rough and i need lots and lots of advice. i got married 3 months ago to my husband. i though right away he was the love of my life. im about to be 21, i knew him for about 7 months before we dated. the thing is now that im married to him i had found out so many different things that he lied to me about and idk how to handle it, i dont see the same man i felt for. now before anything else, i have a 3 year old daughter she is the most amazing little girl a women would ask for. my husband has a boy and he was only 4 months when he finally got custody 50/50. the BM....she omg she is evil. before i even met her, the baby was 5 months old , she tried to get a protection order against me, saying i was harassing her and the baby, that i was bipolar and got anger issues, that she is scared that the baby is on danger because of me, that she is afraid for her life. she said that the baby boy was having nightmares because of me... she did this out of retaliation because a week prior my husband had gotten a protection order against her ( he had tons of prove so the judge just granted him one) , when i got my paper work the judge didn't granted her but did gave both of us a court other for her to prove her allegations. i made the mistake of texting her once..and i was trying t be so sweet, polite, telling her that i wont take her role as a mother, that im here to love and support the baby, that i wanted for her and my husband to have a good co parenting etc. she was being fake and nice at the begining, all the sudden she started to say mean things like, omg im so glad im not with him, i feel bad for him being with you, i feel bad that he is always ending up with ugly chicks etc. well i did control myself and i said i love my husband and the baby, i was glad to meet him, you 2 have an adorable son. so i got all those texts ready for court, printed out and everything. she cancel a day prior...i was glad but i knew i could have probably get her for defaming me without me knowing her or her having her prove. well , i know im going back a little. when i first srated to date my husband in dec. about January she had send me a message on fb, saying plz back up, i want to have a happy family with him, i want you to back off. (in feb,,,i saw this thing and i honestly decided to back off...i know what its like to at least try to get your family together . my bf at the time (husband) wanted me back because i told him he should at least try and be happy and raise the child with her. we got back together after valentines. ( he told me he never tried to be with her, or care, or even thought about that idea. well that was a lie.i will explain by the end all the lies im recently finding out. but we got back together and i was so happy that he got custody. the next day after him wining custody our apt complex manager told us that someone is been calling reporting loud noises, that we have people going in and out of apt, that we fighting and it was the BM trying to get us evicted it show her # on the caller ID.sight*. well then she got then restraining order against me a month after. then she told my husband that she canceled because she has a good heart "?? seriously? .after that i took some pictures with the baby and i had them on fb, her and her mom staryed to report all my pictures, so i blocked them both, it was stillhappening so im guessing either they are doing it from a friend or a fake fb. then my husband told me to go with him to pick the baby up, just in case she tried doing something mean or going off i can record it. well i did. her mom comes out ( btw her mom is the same as her very immature and crazy) she comes out and tells me BM wants to meet you, i saw her at my door in the car so i opened and this is when she told me this, i said of course. (she couldn't even asked me herself? . she started telling me its very disrespectful for you to be posting pictures of my son, you not her mother, i told her i understand but whats wrong with my pictures and why not tell me before you 2 started to report my stuff? honestly yes i dont have any respect for this girl she is 24 and im 20,i feel like she cant handle anything right. but i told her once again im not trying to replace you, then she said my son is not going to be calling you mom!, i told that's OK , then i asked her is step mom ok? she said yes that's fine, then she said i could post the pictures i wanted, i was happy that at least she didn't acted too crazy (that time) then it brings me to recently..the baby is 10 months old now, now after everything she has said and done , their were 3 incidents, for my daughters bday we went to the water park that has splash for kids to play, the baby loved it! and my daughter too, he was crawling everywhere, he didnt cry or was fussy not one sign, after we pick him up because he was just going crazy with the water and we saw him getting tired, but we pick him up and he had 2 little blisters from crawling everywhere..i guess boys arent aloud to have blisters?? yes i wish this didnt happen but kids are allowed to have fun, but the thing is we told her when she came here, hey we went to the park with water and he was crawling and enjoying himself but he got 2 tiny blisters. ( we even told the grandparents. next week on tuesday when we got him, she told my husband that she took him to the ER ....because he had 2 blisters...wow? yes the reason she did this is so it would look bad on us for court saying that she took him to the ER, well guess what? my husband has 50/50 decision making but with her final decision, so her going to the ER and not telling my husband or even asking him when this was happening..does not look good in court. then next accident was when he was 7 months old, her and my husband started the baby on solid food, well he came to our house and he was literally pooping more then 12 times...he got a rash, when he first seen it we used the desitin maximum, then we wont even use wipes, every time we go to the bath tub and use water so it wont irritated more, well it didn't work not because of us, but because all the solid food was causing him a bad bad reaction so we stop feeding him baby food, he got better right away, just recently we started to do so slowly. we texted the mother, grandparents as well. and we also have audios of this 2 incidents..then he fell inside his crib but besides the crib her had a rocking chair, and he hit his little head on it while he was on the crib, it was a little tiny Bruce, then we told her what happened she said ok. and walk off. now...she has called cps, with my son comes from his dads house with so many bruces and cuts, and rashes. and burns...because they though we were lieng and the blisters on his foot. were burns...but i do have prove talking to the grandma saying .they were blisters.but sahe also listed that "we had never told her about the rash, bruce, or "burns"??? now we have a cps on us, crazy crazy baby mama.....now for the record...this was a one night stand . only had sex in one night ..and she got prego. my husband hasnt done a paternity test yet, because we spend so much on dealing with all this crazy stuff. the baby does not looks like him only because of the blue eyes...but the lies were that he said he never wanted her, or be with her, or nothing. i asked him never? he was like never!. im avery open and honest person i told him everything good or bad about me, past relationships , everything i felt is this man wants to marry me , he needs to know what im about. aparently he didnt felt the same way about being honest. well i found 2 diaries while i was cleaning our apt...because i want everything well organized u know? i live here now. but it was stating how much he wanted to be with her...marry her?? a one night stand ? what? all this info messed me up...and their is so much more but this post is way too long, im sorry ladies but if u do read all this plz advice me, should i stay with this man? he lied so much i feel like i dont know who he is...his baby is cute and everything..but he is getting so spoil with the bio mom , he cant do anything, i sign to him, i put him on the walker, i put toys on the floor for him to play, i put tv nursery rymes, i feed him, change him, he cant be anywhere else but on arms unless he cries...and cries and cries and cries...i know he is young and cant be independent. but all he does is cry :( i cant hold him 24/7 my husband works so im alone. he goes to work at 12afternoon and comes home at 11.30pm..and my daughter she would cover her ears and ask me to plz make the baby stop crying..he wasn't like this when he was more little. but now he is getting so spoil and its so hard on me :( i cant spent a good minute with my daughter, reading, teaching her her preschool book, signing...because im always trying to figure out new ways to make the baby stop..and i just realize..this is going to get so much harder...i mean could this actually get better with a crazy BM like her? and my husband lies dont help me feel any more confident on being part of this family..i feel like maybe i can do it but this whole cps thing ..can affect my daughter and she is my world. i know i haven't done anything bad to be worry but i feel like staying is putting that chance of a crazy women willing to do whathver she can to mess my life and my husband life. they both play games with each other when the baby was born in nov, before we dated i didnt know this. but i feel like why is she taking this on me? why im the evil one? when i havent done anything bad, she said to my husband many times u know she is ugly im a lot prettier etc, she is a mexican no offense. im a latina from honduras...she told me he only wanted to marry you , so he look good on court and win, he only wanted u to replace me and my son......argh so much frustration idk what to do or what should i do but gosh i feel like if i stay i loose it....i hate liars and drama...now i do have a baby daddy (he never care or seen my daughter she is 3) so he deserves that tittle. i had never once acted this way towards him and he really did hurt-ed me so much...i ask him multiple times, hey do u want to see your daughter? u can bring your gf is ok they can meet her, he was not once interested on being a part of her life. so i think...this women is so immature and complete insane.....idk whats next...help plz any advice, what do u think? does it get easier? with the baby ? the BM?

7 Comments

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Yammejia2 - posted on 09/28/2015

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Thank u Lisa Todd for replying i truly appreciate it. i been thinking maybe on counseling but i don't have money to do so..otherwise i would have done this long time when this whole thing started and honestly , its so much stress , it makes me so anxious and i know im a strong women but someone being cray enough to call cps just for her maybe getting more custody its just so evil in my eyes. idk if their is any way to find counseling for cheap, i been lately looking into it and its max 250$ per week..i sadly cant afford that

Lisa - posted on 09/28/2015

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It might be a good time to get counseling. Maybe you can figure out why he is lying and start fresh with a new perspective of honesty. I am sorry that you are the one that has to care for the baby all the time. Is there anyway that the 50% of the time that you have the baby you structure your days around him? Then the other 50% where it is just you and your daughter can be structured around her? Maybe the counselor can help you figure out how to deal with the birth mom as well. This is a lot of stress on you, your daughter and your marriage, please seek help mama!

Yammejia2 - posted on 09/28/2015

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sadly i have, he said he didn't wanted to loose me or hurt me...i told him , him lying to me multiple times its a lot more painful then the truth. i just feel like leaving but i know its not going to be easy :/

Amber - posted on 09/28/2015

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Have you confronted him about lying? Make him tell you why he lied, once you know that might help you choose.

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