BABYSITTERS?

LauraBeth - posted on 01/01/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Is it wrong for me not to want my child to be left with anyone other then me or my husband? I am 27 and Gabriel (8mo) is our first child. We feel that Gabriel is our responsiblity and no one elses, I recently have be hearing a lot of flack from my friends because we will not do anything unless it is faimly friendly! and yes that means that we do not have "date night". My friends have said that my husband and mine relationship will get tough because we don't have any alone time and I tell them we dont have to be out of the house to have one on one time with each other after my son goes to sleep at night we have a nice meal and watch a moive or play a board game. Are we wrong for not wanting to go out with our friends to bars and other placees that we can not bring our son?

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Renae - posted on 01/03/2010

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It sounds like you are doing just fine to me. My baby is 10mo and next Thursday my husband and I will be going to dinner and a movie which will be our first outting without our baby. We will leave after he is asleep and my mum is coming over in case he wakes up. For us it has come time that we feel like going and doing something that we used to do all the time before baby. But most of the time I feel the same way you do. If I didn't have a mum I trust completely to look after him I wouldn't be going out. A lot of people tell me I need a "break" from my baby, they want me to leave him with a sitter and go shopping or out to lunch. But I honestly dont feel like I need a break from him, those who do feel like they need to get away from baby can't believe that but its true. My baby also had a feeding disorder and sleeping disorder for a long time so it would have taken a long time to teach someone how to care for him and he probably just would have cried the whole time. If he had of slept better at night and fed sooner maybe we would have gone out sooner, but it just wasn't possible.

LauraBeth - posted on 01/01/2010

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Quoting sheryl:

your not wrong! if it works for you guys, then don't change what works for you! me and my husbend don't have date night. we spend time togather at home also. you don't have to go out to have a date night. spending time togather is time. when it comes to your son. you should do only what you comfortble with. its your child. i don't leave my kids with someone else just so i can go to a bar. i rather not go. my kids are my first. i would do is just till them this is just us and how we are. if you don't like don't say anything at all. out of respect for me. that's what i would say! if they don't then it may be time to find new friends that think and feel they same way as you to do. i don't think you can be to safe when it comes to your kids! sound like your doing great. don't let other till your not. hope that helps some


We LOVE begin around our son and the time we have together,  and for the bar neither me or my husband drink but we always seem to get invited.  You are right about finding new friends, I have slowly been distenceing myself from alot of people who just dont seem to get the importance of family!  Thank you!

LauraBeth - posted on 01/01/2010

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THANK YOU EVERYONE!! I am married to a Army man so the family members are not close enough to just drop off and go out otherwise we would have my parents or his parents watch him maybe every few months for a night.

Jennifer - posted on 01/01/2010

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i understand about leaving our kids with one other than us, but if you have family members to watch then you get to go out & feel safe whit who your kid is with.I t is important to have adult time its not going to be fun if you don't feel comfortable with who you leave your kids with.I had my family watch mine when i went out that way i knew they where safe. good luck.

Sheryl - posted on 01/01/2010

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your not wrong! if it works for you guys, then don't change what works for you! me and my husbend don't have date night. we spend time togather at home also. you don't have to go out to have a date night. spending time togather is time. when it comes to your son. you should do only what you comfortble with. its your child. i don't leave my kids with someone else just so i can go to a bar. i rather not go. my kids are my first. i would do is just till them this is just us and how we are. if you don't like don't say anything at all. out of respect for me. that's what i would say! if they don't then it may be time to find new friends that think and feel they same way as you to do. i don't think you can be to safe when it comes to your kids! sound like your doing great. don't let other till your not. hope that helps some.

Brianna - posted on 01/01/2010

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I think it's perfectly fine! Make sure you guys do get your alone time but your right you dont have to go out of the house to do that. If your dont feel comfortable with someone else watching your baby than dont, your the parents, you decide how to raise your child, not every one around you. My inlaws get "butt hurt" because we wont go to the bar with them or go party with them on new years eve with our baby, but i dont care, its my baby. We do have date nights every now and then but only when my mom can watch him and it's not all the time. So just do whatever makes your family happy, dont worry what everyone else says. :-D Good Luck!

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If you are fine with not going out and your relationship with your husband is not suffering then I would say good for you! We go on "date nights" all the time....with 19 month old daughter in tow! We love being together. However, she also has two loving grandmothers and several aunts that are more than willing to watch her for a few hours if needed! I think its great that you and your husband love spending so much time with your son. If you wanted to ease into a babysitter (eventually) maybe let a friend or grandmother take your son to the same restaurant and sit separatly...just to see how it goes!

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