Bad 2 year old..please help

Stacey - posted on 11/17/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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have a 2 1/2 year old that just has to be naughty the second he is not being supervised. No form of discipline seems to make a difference. He is prefectly capable of behaving as long as Mama is in the same room(unless he believes I'm not watching him), but I do not want to have him attached to my hip 24/7. Any suggestions?

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Amanda - posted on 11/19/2009

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i used to have this problem alot with my oldest. even in the middle of the night he would ge out of bed and cause trouble. i just stayed very consistant and always followed through. if theres a crime theres always a punishment. start by taking away something small something he really likes. or try putting him on a time out( and make sure you dont let him cause he says he loves you or does something cute) make sure he stays there for whole time out. as lon as you stay consistant it will get better it will take time things arent going to change over night. it could take a week, 2 weeks maybe even a month but you have to remain consistant. let him know your there but you have things you need to do to and he needs to learn to have some alone time as well.

Caryn - posted on 11/19/2009

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Its probably mostly his age. Toddlers like to test their boundaries constantly. Stay consistent in your discipline. He will learn that the things he is doing are unacceptable and will eventually quit.

Paula - posted on 11/19/2009

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I have a little guy to that likes to get into troble, the fish tank seem to small of it, he likes to put all his toys in it, he has figured out how to open the pantry, (it has a saftey lock) as soon as leave the room he is climbing, if he gets mad he bits, hitts, scream, the whole nine yards, my only sugestion is to stck with what you are doing and hope for the best.

Danielle - posted on 11/19/2009

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Same problem here! My daughter is also 2 1/2 and is terrible way more than behaved. I can't seem to go anywhere with her because she will throw a fit for something. I have a son that is 15 in Marching Band, and I couldn't even take her to football games because she is so bad. I can only take brief trips to Walmart/Grocery shopping. And to make it worse-she is recently potty trained, but will not go to potty in public restrooms! There are many times during the day that she plays quietly by herself or will sit in her chair and watch tv/videos, but it seems the bad always outweighs the good

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Shelly - posted on 11/23/2009

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check out love and logic. My boys are very intelligent so they tried things just to see the reaction. I learned a parenting method called love and logic and it really turned things around for all of us. He gets to feel some control but it is what you actually move him toward not just a free for all. So the kids that want to control the situation get to with your guidance and they get choices that you give them. It takes some practice but I have gotten pretty good at it and it makes life a lot easier for my family.

Dawnetta - posted on 11/23/2009

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I would start with the first half of Strong Willed Child (lets you know that your not the only one, gives direct advice for dealing with specific situations & reinforces the amplified need for consistency) but It may leave you feeling a little hopeless.  I found the Magic Years to be uplifting (even though it's whole focus is a psychological analysis & how to avoid raising kids with neurosis) because it explains in detail how kids develop & what goes on in their little heads in a very educated manner.

 



Quoting Stacey:

thanks, Dawnetta. I'll check them out.





 

Stacey - posted on 11/22/2009

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We have the most childproof living room I've ever seen...however, it is open to the stairs. Even with a gate, he will climb up the outside. He hits/pushes/takes toys away from our other two boys (they are 2 1/2 and 9 months). I have and can put him in a time out -- could leave him there for probably half the day w/o a fuss - he picks his toe fuzz, plays w/ his clothes, whatever - doesn't seem to mind sitting still and goes back to the negative behavior. I am very consistent to deal w/ behaviors that I do not want, he is just a little more insistant on being naughty.

Melissa - posted on 11/22/2009

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First, make sure your house is adequately childproofed. Then, choose a very safe area that you can create for independent play. Kind of like a giant playpen would be - full of toys/etc. but where you can still keep him a bit contained. We have a toyroom that works great.



When you say he is being naughty, what do you mean? Drawing on the walls? Take away the crayons. Jumping on the couch? Put him in a different area. You have to set the limits.





2 and a half is not old enough to be completely unsupervised, but you certainly should be able to fold the laundry, go to the bathroom, etc etc. It is, however, old enough to start implementing time outs and expecting him to understand a consequence to his behavior. What happens if he is doing something wrong, and you remove him from the situation to a "time out area?" You say it doesn't work - explain more for me......

Briana - posted on 11/21/2009

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Hi Stacey. I think there is some good advice on here. I especially agree with those ladies who have said "be consistent." It sounds like a lot of your son's behaviors are ways of getting your attention--and I know from personal experience that with kids ANY attention (even yelling or other punishments) is reinforcing. Have you tried rewarding him for good behavior? You may have to start really small--for example, take a time when he's playing nicely with you in the room and make an excuse to step out of the room. Be gone for only a very short time (don't even give him the chance to misbehave); it may only be for 30 seconds or less! Come back in the room while he's still playing nicely and reward him with lots fun attention: verbal praise, hugs, tickles, kisses, whatever he likes. Do this a lot, when you only have to be gone for very short periods of time. You can gradually increase the time you're away as he is able, but try to keep him successful (I know its easier said than done with dishes to wash, dinner to cook, etc.)

I know my daughter also behaves better with a full belly or with a snack to munch on. You could also keep a basket of special toys that your son really enjoys and keep them put away until those times that you need to get something done. When toys are novel and exciting they seem to keep little ones occupied for longer. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Dawnetta - posted on 11/19/2009

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Have you read "The magic years" (Author) Selma H. Fraiberg or "The Strongwilled Child" (Author) Dr. James Dobson,

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