Bad one year old

Jessica - posted on 05/26/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Ok so my son is 1 1/2 he has a very bad temper he will not listen he will kick me when I try to put him in his car seat he will scream as loud as he can when he is mad he will throw himself on the ground he will today he throw himself off the couch he yelled screamed cried for an hour not sure why he was pissed about something I have spanked him put him in time out put him in bed ignored him it makes it worse I'm to the point where I give up why keep spanking and trying if nothing works !!!!!!

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You have to know WHY he's upset and address that issue, then you have to show him the proper way to express himself.

If he throws something at you, that thing is gone forever. I NEVER give toys he's thrown back, I put them in the back of my car and donate them to charity. There are TONS of charities that accept used toys, and most have "dropboxes" throughout town.

There is a special hold for a child that is violent. Take the child and put his back to your chest, So that you are both facing away from the wall. Cross his hands across his chest and hold his left hand in your right hand, and vice versa. Then slide down the wall into a "criss cross applesauce" or "Indian Style" posture, crossing your legs over his. You should hold him firmly but gently until he calms--he will be restrained, but it will feel like you are hugging him. The first time you do this, expect to hold him for 20 to 30 minutes, possibly longer, but since he's young, he should let up in less than an hour. The more often you do it, the shorter the time you have to hold him will be, until eventually, you will just have to take his hands like you are going to hold him and he will calm. Do it EVERY TIME he hits, kicks, bites, or pulls your hair, or hurts you in anyway.

At this age, once he's calm, just let him go. Once the calming comes quicker you can show him a better way to tame his anger. Remember, you cannot just tell him or talk to him--he's far too young to understand that--so you have to SHOW him what to do instead of hitting. It's easy for him to understand that he shouldn't hit, but if he doesn't know what to do instead of hitting, he will just keep hitting because, even though he knows it's wrong, he won't have any other option. Does that make sense?
That will lead to other problems down the road, if you don't show him what to do instead, because then he will continue the violent behaviors, but he will know it's wrong and it will wreck his confidence and self esteem. He will begin to believe his is just a "bad person" when in reality, he's good, he just doesn't know.

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Jessica - posted on 05/27/2013

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No he will not let me hold him he gets way to frustrated but I'm not going to let him get away with kicking and just plan being bad I spank him not for wanting to express himself but for kicking and ect I got my ass beat for acting like that it worked but its just not working his dad is high tempered as well so I'm sure that dose not help my sons behavior problems but like I said I will bust that butt if he gets out of hand !!!!!! I have tried everything to take me to what you want to ignoring him and if I give him something he just throws it at us I am just not sure what to do any more his behavior is getting worse and worse everyday !!!!!!!

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