Becoming a stay at home mom!

Krisy - posted on 05/12/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

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So I am going to be quitting my job to become a full time mom and I am nervous!!! I am also excited! The transition is scary...I could use any and all suggestions!!! I have a 5 year old and I have worked since she was 3 months old but we are at a place in life where I can finally be home. She has numerous needs and activities. How do you schedule and fulfill needs? Also, my hubs is out of town a lot for work which also has me concerned.... Sorry for rambling but nervous and have worked since I was 15. Thanks for any ideas and suggestions!

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Marian - posted on 05/13/2013

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Congrats on being able to make the transition to staying at home. And don't be nervous, this is an exciting time. You have so much to discover, and you get to share that experience with your child. The best piece of advice is start slow. It will seems like you have all this free time, but it can quickly become filled with things that aren't important. The first few weeks, do nothing but get into the morning routine groove. Once you have that mastered, add in working out one day a week, or coffee with a girlfriend. Remember, this time is as much about you as it is about your child. Enjoy the time that you have with your child, but enjoy some adult time too. As far as your hubs traveling a lot...find a sitter for those longer stretches. If your daughter isn't in school during those times, you'll want to ensure that you have an opportunity for a break. I have a dear friend whose husband travels Monday thru Friday. She has a sitter come once every other Thursday afternoon. While the sitter is with the kids, my friends goes to afternoon movies, heads to Target, or goes to a coffee shop and reads a book. Sometimes you'll need a change of scenery, and that's 100% ok. There may be times where you begin to feel like you do the same thing day in and day out, so make sure to change things up a little to keep it fresh. Mostly, just enjoy this new adventure, you might love it, you might not, but it's what you make of it that counts. Good luck!

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Amanda - posted on 05/21/2013

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Congrats!! Being a stay at home mom is a wonderful thing! I have 3 little girls, and one on the way. I also homeschool the kids! But just to give you a heads up, there are going to be some struggles along the way, especially without the help. But if you have friends and family willing to help you. Take it! And try and get some you time in there as well. With my three i don't get any time, and i find myself getting very depressed. And there are days i beg my husband to let me go back to work even just part time to get away. I have to remind myself everyday that i wanted to be a stay at home mom, i wanted to homeschool my children, and there are lots of working mom's out there that would die to be at home with their kids but they just simply can't afford it. So we are blessed to have this opportunity!! What i have found that helps me a bit, is making a list of things i want to do with the kids during the day. And make sure i stick to it! It keeps the kids busy. And we spend a ton of time outside. Makes them good and tired for bedtime. I also do a lot of baking with my girls. They love it, and i enjoy doing it too!! Have a flour fight...yes it makes a mess, but they love it! I wish you all the best! And remember on those tough days you aren't alone!! Every stay at home mom has their struggles.

Chastity - posted on 05/21/2013

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Hi That can be understandably, if you would ever like to work from home let me know jc6k2012@gmail.com

Jessica - posted on 05/20/2013

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I recently became a stay at home mom as well, and I found out that I still needed to be active and social on my own as well. I actually started a job working from home. This way I am still interacting with adults as well. LOL and making an income. If you don't need the extra income though, that is awesome! Best of luck to you and enjoy it. :)

CelloMom - posted on 05/20/2013

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Congratulations! you're going to have a great adventure. I was laid off when my youngest was two - it was the best thing they did for me since they hired me. I felt I finally had a chance to get to know my children. Go with the flow. And remember, you are not the entertainment committee: at five they can invent a lot of creative play. Don't be afraid to let her get bored: boredom is the wellspring of creativity.
And remember to carve out a space / time / activity that's entirely your own. Art, your rock&roll band, blogging, circus act, whatever makes you feel really good!

Marissa - posted on 05/19/2013

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Just kick back and enjoy the entertainment, I have been a stay at home mom for almost fifteen years. It has been my greatest achomplishment. As for hubby being away mine is a truck driver and is gone for weeks at a time. Just flip on the tv and relax after bed time or get and ipad and find some fun games to get tired with. I normally put my kids to bed at 8 and spend me time till 9.

Missyl670 - posted on 05/19/2013

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Congrats to you! I did it for ten years and I don't regret it a bit but it does have some challenges. It was hard for my husband to do as much around the house, after all, I was home all the time and he had a lot of pressure to provide financially since it was all on him so he worked a lot and on his days off he didn't want to spend them cleaning. I quickly got sick of cleaning because I felt like it was constantly there and I never got a break from it! Also, I get bored easily so if I had nothing to look forward to all day except cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc I would get depressed. After working full-time this may sound like a break but it quickly loses its joy! What helped me was getting involved in my child's class, school, volunteering at church, etc to give me the social interaction I needed and to get out of the house and feel productive. I also did things just for myself like the others suggested. It's easy to lose yourself when you're always taking care of someone else's needs. One day while buying ice cream at the store I realized I hadn't bought my favorite for years (literally) because no one else liked it and I didn't want to waste the money on just me! I spent that whopping $2.50 on myself and realized I'm important to. It's little things like that that can be forgotten. Also, I sometimes struggled with my husband providing everything for me and not feeling like i was contributing to the family but i was. I didn't realize how much until i went back to work and things didn't run as smoothly around the house! I'm not trying to make it sound bad, because it's not. I just wish I'd been a little prepared for the pitfalls of it that I wasn't prepared for. If there is some way to keep your foot in the door of your career by keeping up certifications, classes, or even volunteering or occasional work I would. The reason being, you will lose some confidence and self-esteem in your career world by being away from it. Every single stay at home mom I know/knew (which was a lot) were terrified of returning to work. Almost all of us have but there are a couple who are still afraid to but not really happy just staying at home anymore either since their kids are all grown. The great things about being a SAHM are: getting to always be there for your family. You never have to freak out if your kid or yourself wakes up sick. You can be a part of all your kids special school functions which they love (and I did too). You can easily plan and cook meals most evenings because you are home and not rushing through the door the last minute with hungry kids complaining. You can keep caught up with laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. I'm glad I stayed home and I'm glad I was able to go back to work eventually. I still only work part-time which is the best of both worlds. I really need to go full-time but I don't want to. I have one getting ready to start college, a second getting ready to drive, and a third entering middle school and big into sports. All the braces, glasses, cell phones, car insurance, gas, college expenses, etc add up so enjoy this time of your life while you can. There are many days I wish to go back just for a while! :)

Lorina - posted on 05/16/2013

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All of the advice so far is solid. I would say also find one or two local playgroups / mom groups, specifically other stay at home moms. Having support from and bonding with other moms who share similar lifestyles has been the best reward I have given myself. Also, since you worked since age 15 you can transfer the skills you have gained to successfully manage your life at home. It might be a challenge, but the benefits to you and your family are just as valuable as a paycheck. Kudos to you!

Jeramie - posted on 05/15/2013

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One of the most important things for me is to feel like I am still doing something productive. I don't mean just cleaning. that is not really producing anything but a clean room that is meant to be destroyed again. I mean like a creative hobby. I taught myself to sew when my daughter was about a year old, and I loved the feeling of making something. It can be anything you like or want to learn to do. Sew, write a book, blog, art, learn a language. Especially since you are leaving a job, you may start to feel useless and bored if you don't do something productive.

Alicia - posted on 05/13/2013

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dont worry you'll be fine. just remember not to work to hard around the house. a lot of moms spend so much time working on the house that they forget to spend time with baby's. try to find a baby group nearby and you can look up stars and strollers movies. these are movies that are played as a matinee for moms with tots and strollers. make a regular schedule and routines. i have three kids all under 5 yrs. my smallest being 10 months now and my husband is away from home 5 days a week and i have found that being home by myself with the kids is really different when my husband is home. we have a routine where we get up, dressed breakfasted, then off to the bus since my oldest is in school then snack a bit of tv while i do a few things then tv off and music on to play and dance and clean up if need be. after lunch more playing and dancing before getting the oldest off the bus then more playing and then supper and talking on the tephone with daddy then bed time. dont be concerned about your hubby being away. it will be fine

you'll find its the time of your life being home with the kids you'll love it

Debbie - posted on 05/13/2013

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When I first learned of "From Combat Zone to Love At Home" I was definitely in need of a practical parenting manual to help me motivate my children toward contributing to our family in more useful ways without grumbling and complaining. I was working already on the attitude of my own heart through materials from Kirk Martin of Celebrate Calm, but didn't know how to move towards a successful operating home with my children--we needed a good How To manual. We had chore charts. We had bedtime routines listed on doors & mirrors. We still didn't have a functioning household. I still nagged.
My husband & I found ourselves in a perpetual state of yelling about the undone tasks in each room, filling the house with a spirit of negativity and frustration. It created tremendous tension between us, as well as creating friction between rivalrous siblings.The Happy Face Token system is smart. We tweaked it here and there to fit our family--which is what is great about this system. Once you understand the concept behind motivating your children you'll find ways that work best for your home.
It's a gem, and with a great sense of humor to boot, it can bring light & joy to your otherwise troubled home. My manual came in a fabulous zipper organizer binder, camouflaged, and included a CD of MP3s and more resources to support the materials within. This system will give you everything you need to feel confident and consistent as you learn your stay-at-home duties as well. http://parentingsurvival.com

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