bedtime

Nicole - posted on 05/14/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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ok. So my Son is 21 months old. My parents moved in with us (Ohio from Cali) about a month ago now. and now all of the sudden my son will not go to sleep! he will not lay down in his crib! he will if you are holding him, or if he is in our bed. but we are trying for baby #2 and I want him OUT OF MY BED!!!! we are trying something new tonight but I will take any help I can get please!!! I need my son to go to sleep and sleep in his own bed!!!

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[deleted account]

I'm sorry, I had no idea that he was in your room or that you didn't want him to cry at bedtime. Good luck in the future!

Nicole - posted on 05/14/2010

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Thank you Kristin. First off I know it CAN be done, but I would rather it NOT be done if I can help it! and yes I just realized that them moving in is prolly what causing the sudden change in behavior, So I am paying more attention to what's going on now then I was at first. and I have tried it! I feel like we have tried everything to get him to sleep in his own bed! My husband converted his crib into a "big boy bed" and kinda laid down with him, like he would in our bed, (of corse only the upper half of him fit on the bed LOL) and he said he went right to sleep that way!! no crying NOTHING!!! I was at work when I heard and almost cried I got so excited!! Hopefully this continues to work, and it's not just a one time thing LOL!

Kristin - posted on 05/14/2010

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Your parent's moving in has completely shaken his world. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it is very different for him now. He probably isn't getting as much time with you as he was. Maybe increase what he's getting from you and his dad during normal waking hours.

Stay in his room if you like, but don't pick him up after you put him to bed. You can sit near him and rub his back or tummy. You can hum something nonsensical quietly. But, only if he is laying down. He will understand this. If he stands up, you leave the room. Now you have to back that up. You will be able to move out of the room over time.

You may also need to revisit your bedtime routine. He may need it to be longer and more snuggly for a bit.

As for going for #2, it can be done with a child in the bed with you. I know, sounds odd. But, you do what you have to. Also, since your parent's are there, what about acting like irresponsible teenagers on a date?

Good luck, have fun. He's only going to be little and need you like this for a short time.

Nicole - posted on 05/14/2010

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WOW joy, I couldn't imagine! and susan, we stay in his room. I cant leave and just let him cry! My opinion is it isn't good for them emotionally, I know many people have done this and they have turnd out ok, but I just can't. When they get a bit older to understand "i will be right back" then maybe, but he doesn't understand.....

Joy - posted on 05/14/2010

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I really don't know what to say on this cause i am a single mom of a 30 month old and he sleeps in bed with me every night..i wont have it any other way at this age cause i often have to make sure he is still breathing in his sleep..sometimes i dont feel him breathing and i have to nudge him to move...it's scary but it's my life.

[deleted account]

I just posted this somewhere else, but the most effective way I have found to get kids to go to bed is to put them in their bed, stay outside the door or close by to keep putting them back. Once they stay in their bed if they cry and get more upset go in 5 minutes later and tell them they are okay, then wait ten minutes and go in and tell them they are okay, then wait 15 minutes etc. The next time you put them down make sure they stay in their bed then start at 10 minutes then 15 etc. Until they will stay there and go to sleep. I have had 10 children of my own and most I had to insist they go to bed and that was the best technique I have found. It seems like forever the at first, but a big relief when they finally get it. Just don't pick him up, or stay for more then 30 seconds. Tell him he is alright and leave, or you will have a harder time starting over.

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