been made an offer by hubby and don't know what to do

Amanda - posted on 05/27/2011 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I'm living in Australia but am originally from the UK, all my friends and family are over there.We went back 2 yrs ago before I had my daughter and it's not financially possible to get back there for at least another 3 years.

My nan is getting old now and has been put in a home because the family are unable to look after her and my step dad has had his cancer return and started chemo again this week.
They have never met my daughter.

Anyway I have a 3 yr and a 20 month old who attend a daycare one day a week.

My husband came home from work last night and said time could be running out for my little girl to meet her grandad and if we take the kids out of daycare for the one day that they go we can put that money into a holiday account and it will pay for a ticket an we can go over for 3 weeks easter next year, and if I want I can put them back in when we get back.

He also said that instead of going back to work like we were talking about I can stay home for another year till my son starts school.

Should I take them out and go on holiday or leave them in and be happy with skype???

Is it going to give them more of a head start when it comes to school to leave them in??? or are they too young for it to have that much of an impact on them and to worry about getting them re-enrolled May next year???

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Jessica - posted on 05/27/2011

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My son didn't go to preschool. We couldn't afford it, so I got a preschool curriculum and did it at home. He is top of his first grade class, so I guess not going to preschool didn't hurt him.

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Jennifer - posted on 05/31/2011

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they have books so you can teach them at home if you want to help make sure they don't fall behind, I don't think it will affect them very much though, they are still pretty young

Sally - posted on 05/31/2011

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What little schooling benefit that kids get from preschool (and for kids with involved parents, it's really not that much) is gone by second grade for most kids (unless there is something horribly wrong with their school). Considering the "socialization" that most kids actually get from most schools, you'd probably be doing them a favor by pulling them out. Gio see your family while you still can. That will have far more long term benefit for your entire family.

Amanda - posted on 05/30/2011

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Thanks Kylie thats exactly was I was planning on doing. I want my son to go back to preschool and get on a school readiness program for May next year so he's ready to start school Feb 2013.

We do go to playgroup once a week and they are socialized every day with other kids whether at the creche they are in at the gym, playgroup or at the park. Luckily they are very social kids. My main concern was my son as he has been in day care both full time and part time since he was 6 months old and its all he's known (he's not too good with change and disruptions to his routine) and I didn't want it to upset him too much.

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i used to teach preschool, and if you are planning to put them back in atleast for 6 months before they start school they should be fine, besides lots of school ready-ness things you can do at home, and join a mothers group or similar to help them with the social aspects of their learning. I was also living away from my family when i lost someone very close to me, it's horrible to feel like you could have been there and weren't. you need to look at how it will effect you and them to never see these people again too.

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My kids dont go to daycare...So I personally would say stay home, save the money, and go see your family. Family is important, and your husband is offering you a chance that you might not otherwise get.

Bonnie - posted on 05/30/2011

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I have a son who is almost 5 and he never went to preschool or any type of program. He is smarter than a lot of other kids his age i've been around and can carry on a better conversation than some 10 year olds. I have another son who is almost 3 and he never went either and won't be. I think preschool mainly just introduces them to what school will be like, it doesn't mean they won't pick up on things once it's time for kindergarten.

Becky - posted on 05/30/2011

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As a qualified childcare worker (& currently a stay-at-home mum in Australia) I can honestly tell you that daycare doesn't necessarily mean a head start at school, especially as it is only 1 day a week - children generally start school on an even playing field. Daycare is great for socialisation but so is taking them to the park or a free mother's group. You can teach your children all of the basic skills they need to start school: independence, telling the time, basic counting & recognising letters, tying shoe laces, etc.
I have alot of my mum's family, as well as my brother & a nephew I have never met, in England & if I had a chance to go back & see them I would take it in a second.
You can put the kids back in daycare when you get back. I think it would be good for you as well as the kids. Ask yourself what would you regret more & follow your heart.

Dionne - posted on 05/29/2011

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My mom died when my kids were young. My oldest two kids miss her tremendously and the younger two were just starting to warm up to her (they have disabilities). After my experience with losing her at a young age, I would say take the child out of daycare, work with him at home, save your money up and go visit before it is to late. Children will be gone before you know it and having that at home time with mom or dad is very beneficial to the children. The flip side is if you are working and you want that work for an outlet away from parenting, I would say keep the job but a real life traveling experience is very educational for children.
If your marriage is good, then I would consider taking your husband up on his offer. Your son will do fine when he starts school especially if you are able to work with him in a fun setting.

Danelle - posted on 05/29/2011

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I would say that it isn't likely that they are going to miss daycare that much. I don't know what your daycare teaches, but most have limited amounts of teaching that is accomplished. I would say some time in a park with other kids their age and a few good books and they won't be missing anything. Plus, it seems that the trip home is much more important, probably for you and your family.

Amanda - posted on 05/28/2011

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Thanks Ladies.
I have decided that I am gonna take the kids out and go.

I've looked into how much my son (3) will actually be missing out on by removing him for a year and found out that even though he is in preschool they don't actually become involved in the transition to school program, which concerntrates on basic learning and fine tuning skills needed for school until the year before they start school, which in his case he won't be doing that until he turns 4 March next year.

I'm taking Karens advice and looking into getting hold of some basic worksheets and activity packs for him to do. We also already have flash cards to help with letter recognition for my son and shapes and colours for my little girl.

They already do alot of art and craft both at home and through playgroups that we go to so really they aren't learning too much more than I can teach them at home.

Thank you so much for all your input

Jamie - posted on 05/27/2011

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DD never went to preschool/daycare she did fine in kindergarten. She never got the chance to meet my grandparents on my dad's side and I hate it. We could never afford to go and we already live with very little extra's. If I could have cut something out of our expenses so we could see them I would have.

Jane - posted on 05/27/2011

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You have a very nice husband.



Pull the kids out of daycare - you can teach them what they need at home as well as or better than the daycare. Save up for the trip and go. You would always regret not going. Skype is nice to have, but really being there beats Skype all hollow.



The 20 month old won't remember much but your 3 year old might. Take plenty of photos while you are there.



Go for it!

Bri - posted on 05/27/2011

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stay at home with your children as much as you can. take them out and go on a holiday! GL

Katrina - posted on 05/27/2011

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I agree that taking your kids out of preschool for a while isn't going to harm them in the long run.
The question I think you need to ask yourself would be...in 10 years time, you may look back at this time and have regrets. Which one would be more likely to come up...that you ran out of time to let your family see your kids or that you took the kids out of preschool (which is only once per week anyway) for 6/12 months? Let your heart decide....and remember that kids bounce back fairly quickly and comfortably.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/27/2011

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none of my kids went to pre school and they are great in school of course they got lil issues here or there so who dont

Karen - posted on 05/27/2011

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Those work books and curriculum kits that you can get are really good. Your 3yr. old will still have plenty of time to adjust to being in a learning setting when you'd get back from your trip. Since they only go for 1 day a week, it might be better for you to get a curriculum for at home. Wheather you keep them in or not. You could also creat your own for free using online printouts (worksheets/crafts ect), and there are so many suggestions on lessons to prepare for kindergarten. In all subjects, for any age. I think you should go visit your dad. Your 3 yr. old will still have time when she gets back from the trip to continue if you want.

Heather - posted on 05/27/2011

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I spent about 5 years working in preschool/playschool (preschool for 2 1/2- 3 1/2 year olds) and I definitely think you will NOT do any harm by pulling them out in order to take this trip. The memories for your family to have this treasured meeting will far outweigh any POSSIBLE loss they could have from not going. It's not going to put the little ones behind at all!

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