Being a stahm and getting monet out of the hsband

Flechia - posted on 06/08/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )




I have been a stay at home mom for two years now. My husband never wants to give me money for anything. He says what I want is stupid and wont give me money. He will give me money to go to the grocery store but it's never enough. Most of the money is for his lunch materials which leaves little for groceries. what should I do


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Jada - posted on 06/09/2010




We have a joint account but after working to support myself for so long I now feel kinda guilty when I want to splurge on myself, so I started selling Avon just to make a lil extra cash for myself. It takes no time away from my kids because I work it with them! Its actually fun.


Alyson - posted on 06/09/2010




be up front with him and tell him. i have worked all my life and after i had LO i went back to work as soon as i could. the last two months i have been laid off and unable to collect unemployment and do you think my bf gives me any money? NO. he is the same way. except when i wa working i bought HIM everything he whimpered for. so i came out and said it... it was a bit of an argument but it worked! good luck

Lauren - posted on 06/08/2010




I agree with everyone especially Elizabeth with the ''OUR'' comments. My daughter is 7 months old and my partner works very hard for our money, and although I dont contribute to the income he always refers to it as ''our'' money. Sometimes I feel bad if I need to ask him for some money but he always says ''hey don't worry about it, its both of our money''. When he goes off to work I sometimes say hey I need money for groceries today and he will just leave his bank card at home for me to use. Its a partnership you are in it together :)

Elizabeth - posted on 06/08/2010




Wow.....that's ridiculus! I'm new to being a sahm (my baby is only 7 weeks) but my husband would NEVER act that way with me. I don't keep money on me, however I don't go out much yet. But before he leaves for work I let him know, "Hey honey, I need some money today." and his response is as he's opening his wallet, "Sure, how much do you need baby?" . I may not work anymore, hell I couldn't work during the pregnancy either since I was on bedrest and anytime I mention feeling bad he has to work so hard he responds that I've worked damn hard bringing OUR child into the world and I continue to work hard caring for OUR child and cleaning OUR house and running OUR errands. He never has any problem giving me some of OUR money.......see a pattern? Everything is equally owned/shared regardless of what is. That's what marriage is. If he ever changed and started acting that way with me, I would find a marriage counselor and be like look, either stop the nonsense or we're going. Please for your sake and the children, have a voice or seek help from a professional because you shouldn't have to live that way.

Bethanie - posted on 06/08/2010




First, you need marriage counceling. Sounds like you need to sort out his lack of respect for you and mistrust. Second, you need to have a joint bank account. Marriage is a unifying thing. You are "one". None of this, it's "my" money. Third, you need to have a voice in the decisions. Again, because he thinks he makes the money, he has all the control and say which is only going to make you resent him in the end and act out in some other way in order to hurt him. You both need to sit down and work out a budget for EVERYTHING every month. Spend everything he brings in on paper. So, he knows how much you need for groceries and other necessities. Dave Ramsey is someone you should look into. Money is the #1 reason for divorce. And, I'm sorry, but Erin, really?? Your husband gives you a check? I have just as much say if not more in the money decisions and I am a SAHM.

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oookk.. i have no prob with budgets on things, planning the months expenses, etc.. i stay at home too.. to me "his" money, theres no such thing.. its both of your money.. reguardless of you taking home a "paycheck".. give me a break.. hold ur own, dont you do all the errands.. etc? my husband doesnt question anything i do when i spend our money.. and as a matter of fact he always thanks me for everything i do at home and i thank him for working hard at his job

Danielle - posted on 06/08/2010




I'm sorry ur going through this. He is not being fair, too controling. I hope ur able to talk to him and work it out. Put everything down on paper and show him how much food and extras are each month. Is he spending $ on himself? Each of you should agree on misc $ spending.

Mary-Ann - posted on 06/08/2010




hey, I would have to say have a joint account, and maybe (if u both dont already) bank online, so both of you can see how much and where the money is bing spent!
My husband and I do that now , and find it works really well.
ps--and if he thinks youre spending too much in any way, tell him how much daycare is!

Erin - posted on 06/08/2010




You should have your own money that you don't have to justify for anything. My husband gives me a cheque at the beginning of every month and that's to take care of all of my personal activities/stuff from the car lease and gas to saving some up for a haircut/clothes, going out for lunches etc. Everything else "family" related goes on one of two credit cards one for groceries/medications/essentials and the other for everything else (clothes, activities for the kid etc, household stuff) so we can track it all easily.

Sarah - posted on 06/08/2010




i would get access to bank account, and take what you need to take care of kids. He must be in charge of finances? Create a budge and show it to him. I all else fails maybe think about counseling...just a thought

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