being a stay at home mum!

Jo - posted on 02/20/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Whenever i go out with my children and see people i have known for years, i get the inevitable question of "are you still working?". When i say that i stay at home to look after my children, the reaction is one of shock. The idea that after 22 years of working I gave it all up to have and look after my children seems a bit alien to some. I think that it is best for kids if i am at home but other peoples reaction seem a bit weird to me!!!!!! anyone else experience tis?

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Sheree - posted on 02/21/2010

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YES oh my goodness, it drives me crazy!!! I hate when i go into work (im still on maternity leave and have another 15 months before i have to make the decision to go back) and the first thing everyone says to me is, when are you coming back to work? Not oh how are you going, are you loving motherhood, no just we want and need you back here. Well truth be told, i am not going back to work and never had any intention to go back. I took the maternity leave as a safety net incase i needed it, but at this stage we are going very well financially and i want to be the person to bring my children up, not a daycare centre. For some reason it is the norm these days for people to automatically go back to work, even when their children are only 6 weeks old?? I personally dont understand why people have children to go straight back to work and place them in someone else's care for up to 12 hours per day. Anyway thats the end of my venting session, thank you for bringing it up and please know that you are not alone :)

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Lol - posted on 02/21/2010

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So got this reaction when I had my baby... Had worked at the same place for ten years... took my 12 month maternity leave... and was always asked when I would be returning! Started to think I had made the wrong choice of being a sahm with everything everyone was saying... so went back for two days per week... oh i lasted maybe 3 months.. and I had enough of missing my baby (really she was one.. but still my baby!), and all the stress of getting bags packed, food ready, then coming home and still having to do dinner etc... Definitely would not be my choice to be a working mum. I have a healthy respect for mothers who make either choice! But working is NOT for me or my baby.

And Sheree.. i agree.. how could you go back to work after 6 weeks???? haven't bonded with baby, or relaxed, or anything, and miss out on teaching them things, and seeing their firsts... why bother having the kids at all????

Jen - posted on 02/21/2010

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Oh my goodness, yes!!!

I'm a 27 year old mum to 21month old Janaya, and people think I stay home with her because I'm lazy, or they think I lounge around all day with nothing to do!!! I've worked full time in the passed and you know what? I'm actually busier now! Kids just have a way of filling your time!

And I believe that it's in my daughters best interest for me to be at home and devote that time to her and her development, education etc. People seem to think that, because women are ALLOWED to work, we HAVE to work or we SHOULD work... but why? I have the RIGHT and that's fine... but I also have the RIGHT TO CHOOSE, which is what the women's right movement was supposedly about! But people, men and women alike, seem to have forgotten that and so the idea of being a SAHM and living with "old fashioned" ideals and values is alien to them. I've been told I'm letting down women everywhere and that I should get off my butt and go back to work! Either that or people think my husband is too controlling because he must be demanding I stay home. Well, while it's his preference as well, if I wanted to go back to work, he'd support that as well.

I can't believe that people are so ignorant, it makes me feel kinda sorry for them.

Oh, and when people ask what I do and I say I stay at home with my daughter, they have the "just" a mum reaction! Being a mum is the best, biggest and toughest job in the world! There's nothing "just" about it!!!

You tell a brain surgeon he's "Just" a brain surgeon! Where's the difference?

Cheryl - posted on 02/21/2010

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I can relate, I was told by my boss that I would go crazy if I stayed home with the kids and I would be back soon. Hows that for being blunt about it.

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