Being fair to all the kids

Jeana - posted on 04/18/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend and I have one child together and I have two of my own and he has 1. HI'm and his ex that is his daughter's mother are great friends. His daughter is the same age as my oldest. When she comes to what is so post to be our home she won't go by the rules he don't make her. She can throw a fit and get by with it she is 6 years old not a baby. He spends more on toys for his daughter the any of the other kids. He tells me that it's fair if he wants to buy just her a toy I feel like it's unfair to get something for one and not the others. He pays child support. He has only bought the child we have together 3 outfits and a sleeper. I just want him to see you can't buy one something and not the others.

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Suzy - posted on 04/22/2016

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I suggest you guys sit down and ‘communicate’ your feelings without emotions. That is hard to do, but it is necessary. (if you haven’t already) I have 5 step-children and three of my own. We raised the first six of them together (my husband that passed away) and I got re-married and have two more step-daughters.
Raising the six together would not have worked if we hadn’t agreed it was a ‘we vs. them’. I don’t mean that in a bad way, I mean that if you guys don’t stick together when it comes to the children, it will bring great heartache and potentially a split in your relationship. Although, we weren’t perfect, we tried to do that and now have a complete family and the six of them call themselves brothers and sisters. I still have a complete family even though my husband passed away. Since then I re-married and have two more step-daughters. We have managed to merge them in as well.

If you don’t do this, you are going to have many, many heartaches as I said. If you love each other, you need to work together to make it work. Children can bring great joy but also problems anyway, but to have a split in parenting direction is not good.

You may also want to research articles or books on the Internet on how to do this. I’m positive you and your boyfriend can do this!

Suzy

Moffittmisty78 - posted on 04/20/2016

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Tell how you feel. Don't let him ignore you. Always rember though that his daughter might be testing you to see how you will handle things. Just stay calm and tell her how you feel and if the dad gets mad at you. Let him know that you feel like he is showing faveortism and the it will do more harm then good in the long run. I know that it will be hard but it will be good for you to let them both know where you stand.

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