Being fair to all the kids

Jeana - posted on 04/18/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My boyfriend and I have one child together and I have two of my own and he has 1. HI'm and his ex that is his daughter's mother are great friends. His daughter is the same age as my oldest. When she comes to what is so post to be our home she won't go by the rules he don't make her. She can throw a fit and get by with it she is 6 years old not a baby. He spends more on toys for his daughter the any of the other kids. He tells me that it's fair if he wants to buy just her a toy I feel like it's unfair to get something for one and not the others. He pays child support. He has only bought the child we have together 3 outfits and a sleeper. I just want him to see you can't buy one something and not the others.

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Raye - posted on 04/19/2016

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It sounds like your boyfriend is doing what many single parents do... they feel guilty about the situation their child(ren) are in and try to overcompensate to make them "happy". This is a parental FAIL. All kids in the house need to have similar rules, and be subject to consequences when the rules are broken. Kids NEED rules and boundaries. That's how they become overall more happy and well-adjusted. They need to know what's expected of them to feel secure. They need consequences for bad behavior so they learn right and wrong and grow to be happier, responsible adults. The temporary joy he's trying to give her now is not helping her long term (and not helping your relationship). He needs to parent her. Counseling might be a good idea for you two to get on the same page with how to parent all the kids together.

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