Broke my heart

Sabrina - posted on 03/09/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My daughter (5 years old) and I were watching TV last night and there was a couple getting married. She said "I can't wait to get married and have babies". I tried to tell her that she can do anything she wants to. A doctor, a teacher anything. She said all she wants to do is be a Mommy. Although it was flattering, I want her to pursue a career or travel before she becomes a Mommy. I know she will probably change her mind before she reaches adulthood. I just want her to aspire to something more. I am afraid being a stay at home Mom has not opened her eyes to other things in the world. Any advice?

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Michelle - posted on 03/28/2011

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Don't discourage your daughter from wanting to get married and be a mommy. There's nothing wrong with it. She will spend her entire academic career hearing about how being a SAHM is not a job and she needs to pick something else. This is your opportunity to let her know she has the option to be a mommy if she wants to. Nobody else will. She will change her a mind a thousand times anyway. Kids do, it's normal. They get interested in things, lose interest in others and that's just the way it goes.

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 03/28/2011

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i dont think you should discourage this. Being a sahm is a great thing.

That being said, she is 5. what she wants to be in life will change a million times.

Stifler's - posted on 03/28/2011

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My mum was a stay at home mum. I never wanted to be a stay home mum. Even if she wants to be that now once she grows up a little and is presented with other options at school she will be interested in something else.

Jennifer - posted on 03/28/2011

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What a blessing! Why would you want to change her mind? Why not encourage her in that. The world will pull her away from that natural inclination soon enough

Zatonda - posted on 03/09/2010

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My son is 9, I stop working when he was born, he is the baby out of 5, you being at home does not mean stay there. We have more time to do with our children and go to events then a working moms may have.. There should be all types of things around your area that you can do with your child, My 25 yr went to college got married now lives in alaska, working and doing her thing, I also have a 13yr daughter that I allow to join clubs and do different things in the community as I go along, my nine yr that has only seen me at home is in sports, If you stay active she should stay active. If you want her to show interest in other things you have to introduce her to them. note my 18 start college this this fall, as my 21 yr is in the marine and has already been to war and back, all kids only had 3 option after high school, college, millitary or get a job. My job is to prepare them for the world not my dream. They have to live that life not me, as long as they are happy I am happy. All you can do is show her the option she have, Take her to the hospital,nursing home, go sit in court, etc there are many thing you can do with her .

C - posted on 03/09/2010

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My mom kept little school books for us and each year would ask what we wanted to be when we grew up. None of my siblings or I ended up being what we said we did in elementary school!

It's great to encourage her options as she grows, but encourage her choices as well. Why not be a wife and mother? I've done both the career route and am now home. Being home for me is a way more challenging role, but also way more fullfilling! At what job can your "employees" smother you in hugs and goobery kisses after a rough day :o)

Lucy - posted on 03/09/2010

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Last year I had a similar experience with my daughter, who had just turned 3. She was playing with her little brother in the wendy house and had cast him in the role of daddy and she was mummy. He started pretending to cook on their toy stove when she said indignantly "no, daddys go out to work, mummys do the cooking!"I was so shocked and dismayed to hear her say this, especially as I had an established professional career earning more than my husband before the kids were born!



I decided that over dinner that evening we would have a little chat! I talked about how I was a teacher, but while they were little I felt it was a more important job to be at home with them. I pointed out to her all the female friends and members of our family that have children and jobs, and at the end of the conversation she said she wanted to be a fire fighter!



I also decided a bit of of action was needed, and got in contact with some old colleagues and arranged to do a couple of revision lectures and lead some drama work shops at one of the schools in which I used to teach. It is now just a couple of hours a week or even a fortnight, but it is enough to show my daughter another side to mummy without it eating into my life as a SAHM. I don't know what you did before you had kids, but maybe there is some way you could do something similar?



Since then, my daughter has started a few sessions a week at play school which has helped further, as she comes into contact with all different kinds of families, even two where the dads are stay at home parents. Now she changes her mind about what she wants to be when she grows up at least twice a week and feels life is full of possibility!



The fact that our daughters model themselves on us is inevitable, being a role model is such a big part of being a parent, so I guess it is down to us to decide exactly what example of being a "mummy" we want to set.

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my advice to you, is that she is 5, and 5 years olds change their minds about 1000 times a second. =) although there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, she will eventually go to school, or be homeschooled even and learn about all of the other wonderful things she can be in addition to being a stay at home mom.

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