can i call in sick??

Shellee - posted on 08/10/2011 ( 11 moms have responded )

65

4

7

My daughter and I are both sick. I cant just call in sick and have a day of relaxing. or a night. last night she was up almost every hour and shes 9 months old. this happens when she doesnt feel good tho. but anyways i asked my husband if he could giver her meds. but he didnt i had to get up multi times last night while i am sick. and yes i do get up when he does wich is at 5:30 each morning. and i dont take naps. and i still clean. does anyone else think that its bullshit that he didnt help out last night???

11 Comments

View replies by

Bernadette - posted on 08/13/2011

623

5

8

I get so annoyed with my husband for the same things. He thinks that since he has to go to work in the morning, he doesn't have to get up for anything during the night. He seems to think that because I don't have to go to a paid job then it should be up to me. Never mind that I don't just get to stay at home to sleep all day - I still have to get up when the kids do. And take care of all their needs before my own. And when I'm too sick to really feel up to it, and actually ask him if he can take the day off to help out, his answer is always "no, I can't, we're way too busy." Like whatever is going on at work is more important than his own family. Meanwhile, the other guy in his department that he works with has practically every second day off to tend to his kids and it always seems to be fine for him to do so. So I really don't think that his "can't" excuse is exactly true. What he really means is "won't". But if HE'S sick...well, that's a different story. He takes the day off and spends it all in bed (or in front of the tv or computer). He can't do A THING for the kids if he's the one who is sick. Yes, it pisses me off. And yes, it is bullshit that your husband didn't help out when he's sick.

[deleted account]

if you and she are sick he should be taking a day off to take care of her while you take care of yourself, it's totally bullshit that he didn't help you.

Keri - posted on 08/11/2011

363

40

0

I hate seeing posts about spouses who don't help! Every year (I forget when) a report comes out about the worth of a stay-at-home parent and includes the wages for all of the occupations a stay-at-home performs (chef, child care, accountant, etc., etc.) and it always tops the million-dollar mark.

When you (and that's a general 'you' to be applied to everyone) are sick, you aren't 100% and having to take care of someone else who is sick just taxes your body even more. I think I would have smacked your husband for his neglect of not only you but of your daughter as well.

Shellee - posted on 08/10/2011

65

4

7

@kelly. I can nap but i just cant go to sleep. i rest but i just cant sleep. and i didnt let him slack afterwards becuase if he can still do what he wants like go places or have time to himself then he can help out a lil. i had mine pulled i know how it feels. but he can still help out. like watch her while i fix dinner or while i clean. or he could go find her binki. i didnt make him go out and cut down a tree. i took care of him the first day. then he was actin like his normal self. i didnt have help packing after my C-section or help at night. is helpin more during the day and im thankful. but i asked him once to do this and he feel back asleep. just once while i got up four times that night.

[deleted account]

When J & I are both sick, John calls into work or works from home so that he can "take care" of us. Sometimes he still has to go in for meetings but I can handle 2 or 3 hours without him. When J still nursed at night, I got up with him, I can nap during the day. You say you don't nap, but you could nap if you needed to, your husband can't take a nap while he's working on a car. The cleaning waits for a day, I just do the basics and leave the rest for later, and we have takeout for dinner.

You also said you made him suck it up when he had his wisdom teeth out, but you expect him to let you slack when you are sick? That sounds like a double standard, if you want pampering when you are sick, you need to pamper him when he is under the weather.

Michelle - posted on 08/10/2011

1,606

10

227

I know how you feel. My husband never gets up with the kids at night or takes care of us when I'm sick (even though he is super whiny and needy when he's sick). When I get sick or get a migraine I'm expected to keep going as usual. He won't take a day off or get up with a kid. He thinks it's my job to just suck it up and do it (I notice he says it's our job keep going but he only ever means me). I haven't had a sick day since we had kids. It's total bs. Talk to him about it. Maybe he will help you in the future if he understands that you need to take care of yourself too.

Shellee - posted on 08/10/2011

65

4

7

he works on cars for honda. and he had no reason he just wanted to sleep. so he feel back alseep. i do nurse her but not all the time. during the day i give her water and juice. and in the evenings and nights i nurse.

Amy - posted on 08/10/2011

4,793

17

376

I never ask my husband to help at night because of his job - it's dangerous and could get crushed/killed if he's not paying attention. However, if I know we are both REALLY sick, he knows HE is calling in sick to take care of us, so he will help those nights.

although, if you're sick, hon. Don't clean. Take a nap. Tell him to pick up dinner since he didn't help the night before. Make your life easier.

What was his excuse for not giving her meds at night? does she nurse or bottle? I get if you have to nurse, it doens't make sense for both to be up. but if you're sick and his job isn't dangerous he can take half an hour out of the night to med and rock baby to bed.

Nicole - posted on 08/10/2011

26

12

1

That's pretty bogus.
When Rick & I first had Carson, he slept all night while I got up during the night to feed him, & after a few weeks of that, I got sick of it & had him take the feeding before he had to wake up at 5:30 to go to work & that seemed to work out.
I told him that if I'm not at my best, how is Carson going to be at his?
Your little girl depends on you for everything during the day! & if you're not getting better, how is she?
I would maybe try saying that for him to understand where you're coming from. I mean, even if he got up once or twice with her, I'm sure it would have meant an hour or two of sleep for you!

Shellee - posted on 08/10/2011

65

4

7

IDK what he would do. he has stepped up a lot after i chewed his butt out for having me do all the work after he gets home for work. but when it comes to sleep he gets it all. but when he got his wisdom teeth pulled i didnt let him slack on me then. but after my bedrest with her i stilled cleaned and after my C-section i still was the only one who got up with her. without his help. men are pussys. they couldnt handle being mr.mom.

Tara - posted on 08/10/2011

1,289

24

206

In a word, yes. It took both of you to make this child, it takes both of you to parent her.
He needs to step up to the plate because if you get too worn out what will happen then? Will he spring to pay for a full-time care aide to help with your daughter while you are recovering?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms