can't have adult conversation... very stressed

Christina - posted on 12/20/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am home with my son 24-7 as many of you are. my bf leaves before our son wakes up and comes home a few mins before he goes to sleep, sometimes after. I am stuck in this small apt 98% of the time. I try to have moments of adult time, such as talking on the phone or talking to someone who has stopped by but my son is so high needs that as soon as i try to talk to have adult conversation for a min he starts screaming louder than he usually does (he cries and fusses all day long!) even if we are grocery shopping he is fussing cause i am trying to pay attention to the things i need to get too. i am finding myself yelling at him to shut up, actually getting mad at him. i do nothing physical but me yelling at him upsets me. i just don't know how to deal with his constant crying. what is the correct way? i get especially embarrassed in public when he is throwing a fit. there has got to be a better way to handle it than screaming shut up....

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Jennifer - posted on 10/04/2015

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Being a stay at home mom can be very challenging at times. Patience is not always a virtue,especially when there is always some one is in or out,includes the lazies(other people),I have children.10 year old,a 8 year old and a newborn. Some postpartum depression, lot of stress.I do pretty much every thing there is to do. I understand you.

Tiffany - posted on 12/20/2009

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Hi! My name is Tiffany and here are my suggestions for you. I'd suggest putting your son in daycare for a few hours a day or every other day to start out with, or even finding a friend you trust to help you out with him. I know you probably don't want to do that, but I had to when my son was very young just for the social skills he lacked and it really helped. He's a special needs child as all 3 of my boys are. I adopted them all out of foster care and there are lots of issues that came along with them. The time I needed without him helped me and I honestly think he needed time without Mommy to figure out he would be ok without me every minute of the day! Granted it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do to take him inside and leave him with strangers as he screamed to the top of his lungs wanting me to not leave! But after about a week of that, he was actually glad to go!

Another suggestion is to get some counseling for yourself. Its good to just be able to talk about what your feeling to a complete stranger sometimes, and that stranger could possibly turn out to be your guardian angel :-)

Nonetheless, I wish you all the luck in the world with your son and hope things work out! Let mek now if you ever need to just vent!

Bethany - posted on 12/20/2009

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I would highly suggest joining a local mommy group. I am in one and felt just like you before I joined. I was reluctant at first, but I really needed some people to talk to and spend my days with. It helped me feel less secluded with an infant at home and now that my son is a toddler I am still enjoying the group bc of the frienships I have made. i think it helped me...and therefore helped me be a better mom. Good luck!

Rachel - posted on 12/20/2009

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I understand you about the adult conversation...I stay at home with my 4 yr. old and 10 month old daughters. My husband leaves about 2 hours before we get up...and comes home about 3-4 hours before bedtime. I only really have 1 good friend...so my life consists mainly of the girls and housework...and next year the 4 yr. old will be in school..so it will just be me and the baby. I think everyone gets frustrated in public with their kids...mine aren't high needs or anything...but my 4 yr, old just never sits still...she is constantly into everything..I HATE to take her shopping!! And when I do yell at her I feel like people give me dirty looks. Bottom line is you do what works for you...and i'm sure things are much more difficult with a high needs child, so don't let anyone make you feel bad!!

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