Can't take it anymore, might as well be alone

Szilvia - posted on 12/01/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

23

0

7

I have an 8 year old and 4 month old. My 4 month old does not sleep through the night and the last two weeks hes been waking up more frequently which makes me tired and when I ask my husband to help me calm our son he gets mad and tells me that I should have energy because I went to sleep at 7pm with the baby. He won't help me with any housework. Everytime I have asked him he says that if I want we can trade places, he will stay home while I go to work. He thinks its so easy. I tell him I don't expect him to help me every day but if he mopped or cooked dinner once a week it would really make me happy. Everytime he is home he is lying down playing video games or watching tv. He is so into it that most of the time I ask him to watch the baby so I can cook dinner he complains so usually my 8 year old will. I seems tv and video games is more important than spending time with his family. When I was pregant he kept telling me that I'm not alone and he'll help me but I'm at the point where it feels like I am so I might as well be, it will be one less person to pick up and clean up after. I know Im not perfect and I cant change him but I cant take it anymore! We cant communicate and we are always fed up with each other. Please help!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

5 Comments

View replies by

Szilvia - posted on 12/03/2013

23

0

7

You are very right Jennifer. I have done that before...left the laundry and when he asks me when it will be done I tell him when he watches the baby. It works every time.

Jennifer - posted on 12/03/2013

0

0

15

Maybe ease off what you are doing. Leave the dishes in the sink, don't empty the garbage, leave a load of laundry sitting out. He will see it and get a hint. He might complain about it, but once you explain to him that you do so much around the house and need help once in a while, he might get the clue that "hey maybe I should be proactive and get off my lazy butt and do something" I go through the same things sometimes, so I ease off on the things I know will bother him the most. When he notices that it's not done and says something, I will tell him that he should do it then. If you immediately start an argument out of frustration, it will just make tension between you two worse. If the situation comes up and he says something, just act like it doesn't bother you. It does work!

Szilvia - posted on 12/03/2013

23

0

7

Thank you ladies! The next day he was super helpful with the baby, rocking him to sleep that night and holding him so I could get some more stuff done around the house. I guess he realized how frustrated I was and helped without me even asking :D

Lataya - posted on 12/01/2013

4

0

3

I go threw the same thing with my husband. We have a 3 year old girl and I just gave birth on October 31st too our second girl and she is now 4 weeks old. And my husband swear that I'm superwoman... I'm also a SAHM. And since giving birth to our second girl, I do what I can around the house for now because there is only but so much I can do with little help from him. And he complains as well.... I don't knew why some men think our jobs are so easy when we have the hardest jobs... When my husband starts up and not being supportive and don't help, after a while he realizes this is not easy for me and comes around.... I hope your situation gets better and stay strong:-)

MJ - posted on 12/01/2013

8

0

3

Maybe you should take him up on that offer of switching roles. After a couple of days of doing what we as SAHM's do, maybe he'll be more appreciative and helpful around the house. In terms of the communication, every consider trying therapy? Sometimes an unbiased opinion can be helpful as opposed to going to family and friends.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms