Can you quite the "mom" job?

Melanie - posted on 06/01/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I find myself not wanting to be a mom anymore. I have 3 kids and I have been a stay at home mom for 6 years running a daycare from my home. In October of 2009, I closed the daycare down because I just was tired of the parents not paying me for caring for their children. I currently got asked to decorate cakes at Dairy Queen and I love it. I also have opened a home Cake decorating business which I also love. I find myself wanting to do those things instead of being with my children. I have lost all of my patience and I have to push myself very hard just to go do thing with them. I find myself wanting to move back home too.
Part of me feels like I have done everything for everyone and I want time to find myself again. I try to talk to my husband about it and he just says "I have it pretty easy". I think he is the one that has it pretty easy. I do all the bills, cleaning, laundry, lawn care, taking everyone where they need to be, cooking, dishes and the grocery shopping. The last 3 months I have had 3 jobs on top of 3 kids. We have only one car so I have to take him to work or be left without a vehicle.
Just venting. If anyone has any encouragement, send it my way. Thanx

6 Comments

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Crystal - posted on 06/01/2010

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With no judgement, I can see where you're coming from. Being a mom is tough, but being a SAHM is tougher, in my opinion. I've been at home for 5 years and I definitely have days where I just need to get away from it all. I'm lucky enough to have a great support system, not only from my hubby, but my parents as well. They weren't kidding with the saying "It takes a village to raise a child." :)

You absolutely need to talk to someone. I would start with your husband, again. He needs to TRY and understand what you're going through, and try and help you. Definitely get some "me" time, and leave the kids with your hubby. Schedule a day where you can leave, maybe with a friend since you probably need to leave the car with you hubby and the kids, and do something for yourself. Whether it be a movie, shopping, lunch, whatever, just get away and take a breather. You've definitely got a lot on your plate, and you need help. He is the one to do it. If for whatever reason he is unwilling, seek out a professional -- it'll help you get things off your chest, and they can help you find ways to "de-stress."

Best of luck!

Karen - posted on 06/01/2010

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You r a strong and busy women. Its ok 2 b tired and worn out. Pease talk to sum1. if ur husband not listening, try a trusted friend, if you cant talk to friends and family for fear of judgment do go 2 a doctor and ask 4 help finding a professional 2 talk 2.
I know your probably scared of wat ur feeling but you need 2 deal with it. If you want i will listen, i will try 2 understand but im not a professional and i probably cant give advice. But i will hear wat u say and not judge

Sheryl - posted on 06/01/2010

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if i where you i would talk to someone! cause your kids should be your hole heart. i feel you should you do lawn care, i am sorry but that should be your husbend job. but the cooking cleaning and the drive yes that are job. but maybe you should look into putting in some type of thing to where you can work during the day and them haveing fun like at a daycare. what i do is talk time for me when my kids are taking there naps and if i can't do it then i do it in the night time. but it sound like you are lil more burnt out so i what really talk to your doc. about this. there a blessing! i well till you this cause it may help you think about the mommy job. i was 18 when i was told that i could not have kids and that just rip out my heart. when i hard that cause that should be a right everyone women has. then after meeting my husbend and praying like crazy trying to understand why. god blessed me with my oldest son erik and then the doc. told me that want more then likely happen agian. but guess what god bless me again. with my sec. son and let me till you the birth was not easy. my hear rate was droping and my air to the baby was going down. i almost had to have an ere. c-section. but with the prayers of my church family and seeing the face of my aunt when i was going in and out gave me the strength to fight. knowing that the lord let me live through that i should never take them for grented. yes the mommy job is not easy but life is short and you never know when it can be taken from you. i hope that helps some. i'll keep you and your family in my prayers and the best of luck!

Mandie - posted on 06/01/2010

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Maybe you just need to get out of all the excitement for a little bit. Is it at all possible to have a "me" day? If the cake decorating is a new thing, you might just be getting lost in the excitement of a new hobby/job too. You have a lot on your plate, maybe your husband needs to split some of the work with you. Is there any way he could at least carpool to work so you wouldn't have to drive him there and pick him up?

Sandy - posted on 06/01/2010

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I just wish my son wanted something to do with me.I would be happy that your kids want your time.I mean why did you have kids??

Kelina - posted on 06/01/2010

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Unfortunately we can't quit unless we abandon our children and it doesn't sound like you want to do that! Have you tried looking into counselling for mothers? You could be experiencing depression, it's not all thaat uncommon for SAHM's. Maybe try talking to your doctor to find groups in your area or even online. good luck i hope it gets easier!

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