cheating husband

Tiffany - posted on 12/10/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have been with my husband for 5 years and we have known each other our whole lives. I am a stay at home mommy and have 2 beautiful children. My husband has always "talked" to othe girls and I have caught him on many occasions saying that the only reason he is with me is because its too expensive for a divorce. When I ask him about it he says he was joking. Lately he will say he is going out to run and arrand and be out for 6-12 hours. Every day that he works he doesn't come home til about 2-3 hours after he gets off work. He tells me he is hanging out with him friends in the parking lot but like right now, its 18º outside. Therefor I don't believe him and he is always always always on his phone... idk what to do anymore I have tried everything!! I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years and haven't had a job in 5 years. All I have is a high school diploma. I can't get a good job to support both my babies on my own. But to be honest I don't know that I could even leave him. I have loved him since the 4th grade that was 16 years ago! I am so lost

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Michelle - posted on 12/10/2013

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Like Jasmin said: Communication is key to a good marriage. If you can't talk to him one on one then get some marriage counseling ASAP!!!
I don't agree that it's your fault for not giving him attention. To me that's just and excuse and passing the blame onto the woman. HE is responsible for his actions, not because of what you do or don't do. He's a big boy and should be able to deal with not being the centre of attention.

I am on my 2nd marriage and my gosh, what a difference it is to marry your soul mate compared so someone I thought I was in love with. In my opinion, marriage doesn't need to be worked at, you should be comfortable enough with each other that you have a complete understanding without even talking to each other.

Jasmin - posted on 12/10/2013

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You need to talk to him and really asks him everything you want to know and tell him to not lie. Communication is big in a marriage. I always had good communication with my husband and once I stopped the communication and giving him the attention a wife should give her husband he cheated. :( This just happened and I'm still hurting, but I'm working on the healing and trying my best to still love my best friend again. I have been with him 12yrs and married 9yrs. I to have been with him since a young age and he has always been the one to work. It sucks cause I feel the same like you, but I never finished HS and I know i wouldn't be able to find a good job like him.

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Tiffany - posted on 12/11/2013

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I tried to talk to him one night and I was balling my eyes out. I felt like I was dying, I was so upset and he just stood there and didn't say anything. I begged him to say something and after a while he said "are we done here?" My heart broke

Jasmin - posted on 12/10/2013

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I do take a little blame, but I never tell him that. I don't take full blame. To me men are like kids. All they want is to by happy in all departments. So when you give him good sex life, good meals, baby him when sick and having a ear when they need to talk about work/stress there happy. Then a plus is when your a cheerleader for whatever sports they play. He was use to all them things. This summer we decided to move in with his sister so we could save for our big move. Mind you his sister had a one bedroom and it was us plus our 2 kids. My attention for him quickly faded. I now had to focus on my kids. Keeping 2 kids busy in a one bedroom is not easy. Plus keeping it clean and cooking for a extra person was a little hard. Plus our good sex life slowly fading cause we were sleeping in the living room. So I kind of see how and why the cheating happen. I didn't give him that attention and love I normally give him and once that women at work smiled and was extra friendly he flirted back and once your sucked in you really feel trapped until you come out with the truth or you get caught up.

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