children cleaning up, help with housework?

Anne-Marie - posted on 04/27/2010 ( 73 moms have responded )

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Should i expect my children to help out with the housework?, what tasks are suitable for there ages?, as at the moment they do nothing and im getting a bit upset that they never clear up after themselfs, my children are (Girl) 8, (boy) 6 nearly 7, and (Girl) 3 nearly 4, should i except them to do anything or nothing at these ages?





thanks of all the responces, i gave the kids a bit of a shock this morning as i asked them to make there beds and tidy their rooms before school, and they did it :) i was so happy and everyone went to school in a good mood :D, but my 3-4 year old refuses to do anything including getting her self dressed, what should i do? im going to make a chocolate cake today to show how happy i was that they cleaned their rooms :D yay!!!





They have also decided on there own to tidy their bedrooms today - great :D

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Heck yeah they should be helping out... My daughter is 4 & can put her dish in the dishwasher, put her own clothes away, pick up toys, put her books away. Basic stuff, but she's also been conditioned to do so. If your kids are already 7 & 8, that's going to be real hard to get them t start now.

Nikkole - posted on 04/29/2010

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yes they should help you. didnt you when you was a kid? i know i did.my little girl is only 7 months so she cant do any thing yet. but when she gets old she will. i dont believe in the kids doing every thing around the hosue but they should have a few chorse

Brittney - posted on 01/12/2012

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My daughter loves to help me clean the house and shes only 1 year! she picks things up and puts them away, washes the windows, and sorts the socks from the rest of the laundry. Just have them help you with anything that needs done, sweeping, vacuuming, picking up things, washing/drying the dishes....etc..

[deleted account]

Yeah but, how do you expect your children to actually learn how to do house work if you don't teach them. A 10 yr old can certainly know how to do laundry. You're going to end up with children in college that bring their laundry home for you to do because you never taught them how to do it for themselves..

Theresa - posted on 04/29/2010

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I think your kids are PLENTY old enough to help out around the house and do chores. I feel that if a child is old enough to pull it out, they're old enough to be taught to put it away. My six year old is assigned the bathroom. I write on the mirror with a dry erase marker each step he needs to complete. I slip an old sock over my three year olds hand and he helps me dust. When I do laundry each of them have to put their socks and underwear away (its the only drawer my three year old can reach). The six year old puts all his and his brothers shirts on hangers.

Its a loooonnnggg list of things around the house kids can do to help. While it takes a bit longer to teach them and make sure they got it done, in the long run its well worth it. Chores are a wonderful lesson in responsibility.

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Preanda - posted on 01/28/2013

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i cant get my kids to do anything but eat sleep n take baths...i clean there rooms pick there outfit find there shoe.....everything.......clean the house cook.....im loosing my mind an a way cus i dnt want my girls to have a nasty house or ma boys wen they get grown!!!!!! just dnt no wat to do they r so lazy

Amy - posted on 04/14/2011

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YES. they are part of the house, they help mess it up, they help clean it up. My son is 2 and loves to pull laundry into the basket or put dirty laundry and soap in the wash machine. He can easily clean up spills with a towel when he makes them - knows right where the drawer for towels is. Both my kids help set the table and wash it off. They help stack firewood even, for goodness sake. It's part of our daily lives. I'm not a maid or a servant. We all have to work together. Daughter is 4. she helps put dishes away out of dishwasher. I just do silverware so she doesn't get hurt. Together we get it done so much faster. She also loves help with laundry and knows how to make her own bed. She does ask to mop and I let her try - but have to re do it when she's done. She also knows how to do laundry and loves helping cook. Whatever you do in life, make them involved.

I never reward for daily chores though. Life doesn't work like that. If you make a cake, just say it's because you love them so much, not because they cleaned up. They'll expect it every time and then slack off when not rewarded. The reward in cleaning is that you get to live in a clean, nice smelling house. We tidy up every day unless we are super busy. Rooms always clean before bed. Toys put away in play room, floors swept.....I don't know. It's just part of life. And they love it. No one ever grouches at me about helping. they love helping.

Stifler's - posted on 04/14/2011

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I have a 1 year old and I'm slowly teaching him to pack away toys before bed lol. As soon as they understand they should be picking up their own toys and dressing themselves.

Carol - posted on 04/13/2011

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Teach your 3 almost 4 yr old how to pick out what she wants to wear the night before and make it fun for her, yes all of your children are old enough to do chores. You started out right with their rooms, if you want to have your oldest daughter help you with her little sister, also if they don't clean up their room take privliges away from them including the youngest one. Is there a TV show she watches whild her sister and brother are in school? If so let her know that if she doesn't make her bed and clean up her room she will lose out on watching that TV show. Once she has lost that right for the first time she will probably make sure her room is cleaned up. But make sure mom that your standards aren't too high for each age group. For your 3 yr old as long as her toys are picked up and not on the floor, her dirt clothes are in the hamper, and her clean clothes put away then let it be at that. For the other two your standards can be higher due to their age. Its good to reward them for the good that they did but let all three know that if only two of them got their chores done then they are the only two who get the reward and the other one loses out. Once they have lost out you can bet that they will make sure that they don't lose out on the reward. I know this will sound mean but if the reward you give to them is something that is a favorite say to your 8 yr old and she doesn't do her chore then she will really be losing out if she can't have say chocolate ice cream. Then the next time she will make sure that her chore is done, but remember too don't reward them all the time they clean up their rooms otherwise the reward will lose its power. If they clean up their room and say they all set the table without you asking then reward them for that, because then that will show all of you that they can do anything without being asked to do so.

Veronica - posted on 05/03/2010

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My twins are only 21 months old and they are already expected to help out with little chores around the house and they know it. Every single day they always help pick up their toys in the evening time before bed and they know to put them back in their toy box also. They throw their own trash away..like snack containers, juice boxes, etc. I think starting them early on helping out around the house is a great idea. There is nothing wrong with kids helping pick up after themselves and those who say differently are in for a world of hurt from some spoiled children when they get older.

[deleted account]

i agree with nadine. picking up toys,putting dishes where they go, helping you with the dishes, and helping you with laundry. you really want them to help with the simple things.

LaDonna - posted on 05/03/2010

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My kids fold and put up clothes, empty and load the dishwasher, sweep,, vacuum, make their beds and rooms and dust. they are 9 and 8.

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2010

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I would give them chores - it teaches them respinsibility and it gives them something to be proud of when they accomplish the task. My kids are 12, 7, 6 and 8 mos. My oldest 3 help with picking up dog poop outside and cleaning out the litter box...they all help taking out the garbage and each one of them clean their places after each meal. The 7 & 6 yr old share a room which they are responsible to keep resonably clean - dirty clothes off the floor, toys put away, that type of thing. My oldest is responsible for taking care of her own laundry. I'll wash and dry it for her, but she puts it away and keeps her room clean along with wiping down the sinks in the 2 bathrooms. Our house is like a team environment, it doesn't work unless everyone helps out...good luck!

Laura - posted on 05/03/2010

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Seriously, It's not that hard to run a washing machine. Turn the knob, pull it, put the detergent in and add the clothes! I think 10 year old can handle it! In fact, my daughter was begging to do this when she was 6. Of course, I had to pick her up to do so! LOL! My point being, if you believe your children are not capable to do things, they never will be! As long as you pick up after them, they will never pick up after themselves. Why do it when Mommy is so good at it?!

*Lisa* - posted on 05/03/2010

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@ Melinda: I don't think you are a mean mum. I think it's a good thing! I mean it doesn't take long for a child to stack a dishwasher (with help depending on the age).
Someone mentioned that you should wait til they are teenagers to teach them to help clean but I think it's far too late by then. I always had plenty of time to play even with the chores I was doing as a kid. I think it's a good thing for children to learn responsibility from a young age so they don't become pampered brats.

Susan - posted on 05/03/2010

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wow i have 5 lovely kids but mess fairies they are in deed my kids are 15,14,12,8,5 all my kids have to do chores to earn phone credit sweet money and other things they exspect .all my kids have done chores from the age of about 3,4 from picking their toys up when there was more than 4 out at a time to age 5, scrapping plates to age 7 loading dishwasher ,to age 8,9 making beds and picking washing up best bit is to start of with family talk about how tired you are feeling and would like a help and how you have a suggestion of a chore list of simple things they could all do so mum had more time to spend with them doing bedtime stories or homework instead of housework. offer to pay 25pence for each chore done and tally it up at end of week im sure they will enjoy spending money on candy or magazines/comics hope this helps and good luck

Melinda - posted on 05/03/2010

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Hmm I must be an aweful mean mom! My six year old (boy) empties the dryer (fills it from time to time), cleans his room, puts his clothes away, picks up the sticks & toys in the yard, he also puts the dishes from the dishwasher away, he clears his plate and rinses it. My three year old attempts to put toys away, loves helping unload the dishwasher and empty the dryer. He (with reminders) takes his plate to the kitchen and loves to wipe the table after meals. Oh he also attempts to put clothes away, I let him then go behind and straighten up. They both make their beds.

Michele - posted on 05/03/2010

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My little guy who is 6 helps out willingly most times..he takes his dishes to the sink,likes to vaccume (mind u I go over it later), likes to put clothes in dryer and helps to put groceries away..It is a task to have him clean up his toys in his room..but I try to make it fun for him as well..like a game..

Emma - posted on 05/03/2010

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my son is 11 and i make sure he tidies his room and brings his washing down and clears his plates, he would do more if i let him lol

Lucy - posted on 05/03/2010

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If everyone helping is just a natural part of family life from the word go, kids don't think twice about it and mine really enjoy what they call "helper team work" (my 3 year olds phrase for jobs we can all do together like gardening, cooking, dusting etc)

Of course, at two and three, my kids spend a good 80% of their day playing together, but even as babies I would let them know it made sense to tidy one toy before another came out as it gave them more room to play. Before they were able to I did this for them, but now they can, they tidy their own toys without even thinking about it.

I actually think that responsibilities, and a feeling that what they do can help everyone in the family are very important in building a child's self worth and identity as they grow up. Kids love to feel part of a team, and the family is the best example of a team they can really have an important role in. My daughter will ask for jobs when she sees me doing housework, she particularly loves cooking and setting the table and the praise that comes with it. My two year old son is (like me) a real little gardener and loves telling everyone at the table that he helped to grow what we are eating.

For me, the kids doing chores isn't a matter of getting the job done and me not having to do it, but is a very useful way to boost self esteem and develop confidence and independence.

Kayla - posted on 05/01/2010

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Of course....my daughter helps with what she can and she has been helping since she was one...cleaning up her room, putting laundry into the dryer (that I hand to her) she now (almost 2) helps unload the dishwasher and I plan to get her a "toy" vacuum the picks up so she'll stop trying to use the big one! She also throws her own pull ups away, takes her dishes to the sink, and helps out with what she can...

Varonique - posted on 05/01/2010

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well i think it builds structure. my children help me clean all the time, and they love it, girls 3,4 boy 6

Patience - posted on 05/01/2010

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I had to do housework after my mom left when i was about 6 and i did alot cleaned both bathrooms, Sweep and moped the kitchen floor, cleaned my room and a few others. My oldest is 3 1/2 and i have her clean up her toys,and put her dishes in the sink And she likes to help me with any chores she can like squirt windex on glass and throw her sisters dirty diapers away. I maybe a stay at home mom but that doesn't mean i will clean up after every mess my kids will make

Brandi - posted on 05/01/2010

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They ALL are capable of helping. My 4 year old is much more apt to want to help with the "grown-up" chores (washing dishes for a SHORT time, dusting, wiping down tables and counters). Anything that she might need to stand on a chair to do to feel big and important :-). HOWEVER, I have the darndest time getting her to pick up her toys lol. I have found that if I "help" out too, she is more apt to want to help. As for your older kids, they should be able to do pretty much anything short of cleaning the toilet or litter boxes (if you have cats). The oldest could be taking out garbage, washing dishes, putting laundry in the appropriate rooms to be put away. The others could do many of these things as well. I think if they are part of the family and help to make the family mess, then they can pitch in to help to clean up the family mess. Easier said than done sometimes, but definitely I think worth the effort (at least I hope) :-)

Jess - posted on 05/01/2010

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Its one thing for children to carry a couple of shirts down the stairs and sit with you picking out the whites.... its another thing to make your 10 year old responsible for all of their own washing. My 10 year old won't be allowed to use the machine on there own. Im reading some of these post's and I am horrified. Have we forgotten that they are children ? Kids should be outside playing in the dirt.... not washing their clothes. They have plenty of time to be taught housework... like when they are crumpy teenagers. Let babies be babies and kids be kids.

Cindy - posted on 05/01/2010

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Here's a great rule - and a pretty common one, if you can get it out, you can put it away. Simple enough. This should help you determine what they can and cannot accomplish. If they can get out a bowl, milk and cereal, not only can they put all those things away, but there is no reason they cannot rinse or even wash the bowl when they are done. It's NEVER too early to start with responsibilities and consequences.
I hope this helps. Looks like lots of moms have responded, I bet some of them, if not all will be helpful :)
Always remember, patience, love and understanding.

Nyssa - posted on 05/01/2010

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Jess Lyn, I just felt I had to explain why I thought your post was funny. You started out saying 10 is far too young for doing their own laundry, but then go on to say, "Asking my young school age child to help me collect the clothes for washing... perhaps helping me sort out the white clothes from the coloured." Isn't that part of doing laundry?

Rebecca - posted on 05/01/2010

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Yes! Make them help you out so they will know how to do for themselves when they're on their own. My son is 5, and we have had him picking up his own toys and bedroom since right after he turned 4. He also knows to automatically put his dirty dishes in the sink after he is through eating, and we have him feed our pets while Daddy or I fill the water bowls. Also, we have him do smaller things, like fetching needed items or throwing away trash, etc. We give him an allowance of one dollar a week, but he knows that if he does not do his "work" he doesn't get his "paycheck". He is very, very proud of his accomplishments, and he thinks it's fun to be useful, so he will often volunteer to do things for us. Make sure that you praise them for their good work; I believe my son would be happy with just that, because he did those chores happily even before we started the allowance system when he turned 5. Children love to learn things and to please parents, so if you make it fun and rewarding, then I'm sure you'll have no problems. Good luck!!

Yuki - posted on 05/01/2010

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They are plenty old enough to help around the house. The older ones can even load the dishwasher. Whatever you do to encourage them to help out, don't ever make it feel like work or punish them for not doing it. They will resent you for it and rebel (at least, that's what my sister and I did). My kids are younger, but I try to make cleaning up a little bit of a game or let them know they can't do something unless they help out first. You are not their maid and they need to learn these valuable skills before they are out living on their own. Your son's future wife will also thank you for it.

*Lisa* - posted on 05/01/2010

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Oh and I just had a read over the comments.
@ Lisa Dingham. It doesn't sound like you are being a lazy drill seargeant. In fact, my mum taught me at a very young age to help out around the house and I value it immensely. Being taught to look after the house is a great life lesson and I remember going to school with my friends and them treating their mothers like their servants (and unfortunately their mothers pampering them like princesses) and I hated seeing that. I loved helping my mum out, especially if it meant she got to sit back on the lounge. It taught me to have great respect for my parents and not take them for granted. She was/is a good mum and I'm really glad I had her as a role model. You sound similar to her so I think you are doing a great job. :)

*Lisa* - posted on 05/01/2010

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WELL. When I was 8 (this is no exaggeration), I was washing dishes, doing laundry (putting the laundry on the line as well as in the washing machine as we didn't have a dryer and folding the clothes afterwards), changing my little sisters nappies, vacuuming, and cooking. My dad was working and my mum had a brand new baby so my older brother and I shared all of the chores and I loved it. My mum had a chart of all the things needing doing and the harder jobs where worth more points. She would sign it off when we did those jobs and at the end of the month we would get a reward according to the amount of points we scored. I learnt a lot from that, especially about respecting my parents and helping out. The prizes we won weren't anything big (just like a barbie doll or something). And when we got older, we didn't get prizes anymore, we just got allowances ($2 a week I think) and if we didn't do our chores we didn't get the allowance. Hope this helps! Good luck :)

Jess - posted on 05/01/2010

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Im in different on this one, I do not believe a 7 year old should be vacumming and 10 is far to young to be responsible for their own laundry. I am called a "mother" for a reason !



But I do think children need to be taught how to contribute to a household so they don't become a burden on their partners when they are older (for perfect example.... see my partner. hehehe) But it must be age appropriate. So that may be asking me toddler to put their sippy cup in the sink. Asking my young school age child to help me collect the clothes for washing... perhaps helping me sort out the white clothes from the coloured ! No one likes the red shirt being washed with the whites ! But really easy simple things and rather than asking them to do it, I would ask them to help me do it. If they trash their room.... they get to clean it though!



Children arn't slaves and they certainly arn't the unpaid maid service, but there isn't any reason why they can't help you complete a household task !

[deleted account]

ABSOLUTELY have them helping out! We start "Family Responsibilities" (I don't call them chores) at the age of 5. They don't get paid for them. They just are expected to do them, period. I'm opposite on rooms and beds.... they can elect whether or not to clean their own rooms/make their own beds. However, public areas, they have to help. Age 5 - getting mail, putting away utensils, folding napkins/kitchen towels, putting away clothes into drawers, cleaning a bathroom sink are all easy to do. Age 7 - they can start vacuuming (not the best, but they can do it). At age 10 - I stop doing laundry. They do their own. I also have things such as "Pet Duty" or "Dinner Helper" with no preset thing... just they are the primary one to let the dog in/out that day or make sure the dog has food/water (if they are too young to feed/water, they just let me know and I do it, but they have to check). Dinner helper may be something as simple as watching a timer, putting something on a table, etc. or cooking a good portion of dinner. It varies by age. I have a monthly chart posted and responsibilities rotate. When they get older, they made arrangements with each other for coverage. They were responsible entirely for what was assigned. I stayed out of it. (LOL, I even made making the chart a responsibility for my teen, and they really found out about fairness then.) My older kids can vouch for the system. They all can cook, clean, do laundry, and know that it's easier to work together on things sometimes. They laugh because they use to tell others they didn't have chores (because I didn't give them chores) and then they started figuring out that they did a lot more than their friends who did chores but they didn't see what the big deal was about when their friends would whine about what they had to do. Start it young and keep it very, very consistent. (I didn't do stickers, rewards, money, or anything. They just had to do it, period.) If you do it young, simple, consistent, and without reward, you'll have teens that won't balk about it -- it will be normal and quickly done. My 5 year old was so excited to finally get a responsibility this past March. You would have thought he became a man.

Amber - posted on 05/01/2010

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I had ridiculous chores for my age my entire life, I even had to start paying rent when I was 14 years old... that being said I do believe that all kids need appropriate chores for their age, it is essential to learning responsibility in life. My last boyfriend had 4 kids,15, 9, 7, 6. Mostly we would clean together and I would pretty much let them pick what they wanted to do and you would be so surprised what they wanted to do, even cleaning toilets :). I found that if we worked together and I gave them the opportunity to pick what they wanted cleaning wasn't a chore so much as a group activity. The younger ones would want to dust or vacuum, the older ones did dishes on more of a regular basis etc. I think as far as I believe even though it needs to get done it needs to try and be as fun as possible. I have dealt with hating cleaning my entire life because of the burden it was on me when I was a child, my mother was neurotically clean to the point that we weren't even allowed to sit on our couch after it was "perfect", I could go on and on, but it has been something that I have now struggled with my whole life and am just finally finding a groove and I am 33 years old, I wonder if it would have been a bit more fun if I would have struggled so much with it????

Alyssa - posted on 04/30/2010

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To Lisa

Go back and read off what you have them do. I'm talking about this kids has picking up his or her toys and has this job to do. I can't see me making my 11 month old pull weeds sorry and you did say that at any age they could do that. Seriously the way you make it sound they do everything you dont want to do. Lil robot housekeepers. Wow enjoy your robot kids lady.

Rachel - posted on 04/30/2010

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I'd just have them clean up after themselves & help you a little bit with some chores. The older kids can definitely help you with dishes (to an extent) and laundry. You can have them clean up their rooms, put their clothes away, etc. You shouldn't have to chase them around cleaning up after themselves. I'd encourage them with stickers on a chart & after so many stickers they get a treat. But you'd have to stick with whatever you decide to do. I have my almost 2 year old helping me with laundry & picking up her room. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Hi there at the ages of 8 and 7 they certanly can be doing chores around the houe...Clean thier own rooms, Bring thier laundry to the laundry room, set the table...and at 3-4 they can be picking up thier toys after playing and helping you clean thier room....Make it fun for them.....My kids are 4 and 2 and they are expected to help tidy up around the house and put things away that they took out. My 4 year old also helps clean his room. If they dont learn these skills now they will continue to let others do it for them!!! Life skills...they need them!!!

Kristin - posted on 04/30/2010

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I expect both my 5 and 3 years olds to pick up their toys. The are both capable of getting their clothes to the laundry baskets, and really like to help with setting and clearing the table (supervised). They also like to help sort the laundry, kind of make beds, they would do more but that usually results in more work for me.

Unless you've got a burning desire to have them walk all over you in the future (I'm guessing you don't), you have every expectation of help from them. This is part of teaching them to be self-sufficients adults. I can honestly say I have met far too many adults whose parents did everything for them and didn't expect anything from them.

Sarah - posted on 04/29/2010

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The older girl and boy should be able to pick up their toys and their rooms maybe even help with clearing the table or setting the table. The three nearly four year old I think helping to pick up toys at this point would be good (my three year old isn't much help either though). I have a three and 1 year old and they don't always help with clean up time, but they are starting to understand that they are expected to help ( my younger child is often more helpful in this task as she sees it as a game...then she wants to dump the toys out again).

Good luck. Maybe a reward chart - get to pick a show/movie to watch that week or a game to play with the family. Earn time to do something they like to do. Have them get involved with creating the chart and discuss the possible "rewards" for doing what is expected.

Val - posted on 04/29/2010

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YES they should help and making them do it is your job so for the ages 7-8 they could do thing's like cleaning the bathroom,washing dishes,vacuming, making there beds ect....the two little ones i would just start by makeing them clean their room and watching to make sure they put the stuff up were it gose.and me and my daughter sing a clean up song while we do it. and asking them to help you around the house the little stuff . My little girl loves to help me. It's good to make children have some responsibilty, Hope it helps ...

Nyssa - posted on 04/29/2010

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Anne-Marie,
I just read what you said about your 3-4yr old not wanting to do anything. It's part of that age if you remember, and for me, after the 1st child I seemed to do more for the younger ones; eventhough I think the first one was getting himself dressed by age 2 1/2. My 3yr old refuses to use the potty, not quite the same thing as getting dressed, but I don't remember my 3 oldest boys being so much against it. Maybe try putting out a couple outfits for your daughter to pick out. Tell her Mommy is getting them out for her to put on by herself. Maybe she'll respond to a reward chart? It just kinda seems the more kids I have, anyway, the more rushed it is, and it's just easier to do the stuff for the little ones. I do remember how proud we were when the oldest started putting on clothes, and then doing buttons all by himself. I don't know if any of this helps, but thought I would share.

[deleted account]

i say the 8 and nearly 7, absolutely! Clearing the table, taking out the trash, emptying the dishwasher, putting away there own clothes. All great things to get them started on the path to being clean, tidy and organized adults. Surely that doesn't mean they'll like it. But explain that they are part of the family, and everyone needs to do their part. A family is a team. The 3/4 year old can help too. My 3 and 5 year old know to clear their own plates after meals. And picking up toys is easy for them too. My five year old puts away her own laundry. I don't think it's cruel, you'll be helping them on their way to being independent people : D Hope that helps.

[deleted account]

They should definatley help out around the house. My sister has children around the ages of yours and she has daily chores for all of them. Depending on what chore they do depends on the reward. For example - doing dishes they get $1.00. Obviously the more they do the more rewards the get. Of course you would set up your reward plan to whatever best suits your situation. I for one would at least make them clean their own rooms, and make their beds. You could also help them get their laundry in the machines, help them fold and put away. For the older ones, you could get them to set dinner table and clean up after wards, and/ or do the dishes before bedtime. I think getting children to do chores teaches them responsibility, and shows them that hard work pays! Your children got to understand that if they make a mess, they clean it up. That mommy shouldnt always have to do the dishes or laundry ect! Good luck =)

Candice - posted on 04/29/2010

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My kids are 11boy and 9 girl. They both have made their beds since age 6. They have put toys away since 3. They got better the older they got but cleaning with mommy made them feel like they were helping mommy. Since I started with them so young I would act tired and say oh who will pick this toy up for me..I am soooo tired. They would race to get the toy. Now they clean their rooms, feed the pets, older one does dishes(no dishwasher in my house), younger one puts away the new TP in the bathroom, both sweep, dust...ect. I don't make them do it. They like helping me. Only thing they have to do is keep the bedrooms clean and feed pets. After that it is all by choice.

Alison - posted on 04/29/2010

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I have a 7, 4 and a 2 month old. The 7 & 4 are expected to clean their room and put away their toys. If they dont do it they lose priveleges like movie time, park time, going swimming. I look at it as encouraging them nto only to look after there toys but to help around the house is good. Good luck!

Lisa - posted on 04/29/2010

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In response to Alyssa Cassell

Apparently, I am not asking my kids to do anything more than anyone else. Perhaps I am just good at getting my kids to take care of themselves and their things.

. You said in your post
“My mom made me start washing dishes when I was 8 and then moved on to me doing everything and her not having a job and still making me clean up everything. I could never be a kid and go play outside bc I had to clean. Just dont do that bc thats not their job.”
Then you said to me,
“ Wow is the Lisa lady a Mom or a Lazy Drill Sargent. Come on now you sound like my mom

Wow, wait a minute.. I never said they had to do everything. Excuse me but if they play with their toys and then put it away how is that making them do everything?

How is having them help set the table doing everything? I cooked! How is having them help with the dishes everything? Everyone in the house is helping. How is vacuuming doing everything? What about the dusting, moping and all the other things that go with cleaning the house.
Pulling weeds? How hard is that? They love to plant in the garden, they love to collect the eggs they love to feed the animals, that is play time to them. Collecting fresh grown fruit and helping with the canning, that is great fun to them.

I am sorry that you mom did what she did to you but just because I offer some advice does not give you the right to compare me to you mom. You don’t know me!

As for play time, Hello!!!!!! My kids get plenty. You see my farm is a fun farm where we grow imagination and creativity.

*I am constantly making new gowns for the girls to use in the dress up house and the morning glory tea house. In fact I just made 3 new gowns for the girls. I think we have about 10 now!
*I am constantly making swords and costumes for the kids to use in the Adventure area complete with a discovery center and a jungle.
*I am always on the look out for lanterns and such for our cowboy town.
*We also have a sand box area and a secret GI Joe hideout next to the creek that runs through our front yard.
*The children love playing in the front yard gardens full of flowers and cute sitting spots.
*The vineyard is a favorite place to play because of the little tea area.
*The children love swinging on the giant swings hanging from the barn and playing miniature golf in the miniature golf area.
*If they are not happy with that then they can either play on the play equipment or go swimming in our hotel sized swimming pool.

And for real fun, we travel! We go all over the place.. We hit Disneyland at least once a month and every three months or so we are in some hotel somewhere.

So see dearest, you are wrong about the children never being able to be a kid and play. My kids are the luckiest kids they know.

My demand is take care of your things! God gave us great stuff, why dishonor all he has given to us by neglecting it? My children are taught at and early age to take responsibility for themselves.

That is obviously a lesson your mom did not teach you, it seems instead, she taught you how to resent her for doing what you felt was her housework…………………..

I am not picking a fight here, I just want to let it be known, just because your kids have chores doesn’t mean they cant still be children.

Just because parents ask their children to do chores, it doesn’t mean that the children have become servants which is what you implied mine were.

Lisa

Jennie - posted on 04/29/2010

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My son is 2 and he helps with everything! We recently brought home his baby sister( 2 weeks old now). Have the kids do age appropriate things! My son is expected to pick up toys at bedtime, put laundry in hamper and if he wears a pull up to throw it out when soiled! He also helps with his sister throwing soiled laundry and diapers out for me! He sometimes vacuums and helps mix things while I cook. I believe you teach them responsibilities young and reward them as well for good jobs! It is how we are potty training him as well. My son is so excited when he gets appraised for things he does to help out. My parents started me young with chores and such and I think I have an amazing work ethic(with a little OCD mixed in) but I do not do anything half- hearted, when I set out to do something I see it to the end. This is something I have been struggling with, trying to find how they did it for me so I can reciprocate for my son!

Jennifer - posted on 04/29/2010

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I have two children, 4 year old girl and a 19 month old boy, and I also look after children in my home. All of the kids are taught how to clean up the mess that they create in the playroom as well as taking their dishes to the sink. Both of my own kids love taking their clothes to the laundry basket, putting them in the washer/dryer, putting clothes away, taking things to the sink, helping to set the table and my 19 month old loves to help take the recyclables outside. The only thing that is expected of my children is to clean up after themselves but we try to include them in as much as we can (chores and fun things). We always give big hugs/high fives and praise them when they help or even make a big deal about how we couldnt do it without them. We hope that by including the kids now and getting them to help with things will encourage them to do it indepentently once they get older.

Sarh - posted on 04/28/2010

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There is no reason they can not clean up their toys. Help you cook. Set the table. Clean up after them selves. When I was 8 I did LOTS of chores, by myself. Dishes, carry the dirty clothes to the basement and the clean clothes upstairs, fold laundry, take garbage out, etc. I'm not saying no means your children should be doing this and I will NOT have my children do this.

Dani - posted on 04/28/2010

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yay to all you parents! your best gift to your kids is independance and self-esteem through being self-sufficient. we are teaching our little ones from an early age to be helpful, productive, community-minded etc. Get the habit started early, make your expectation of help around the house clear- these guys are going to be teenagers and you need to start training them well before they hit double digits. We reward with constructive praise and my kids (6,4,2) love helping most of the time, and understand that things just have to be done. They understand that if we all benefit from the household being run then they need to contribute to it too. they also see that helping out means mum/dad can spend more time with them and less on the jobs. Even if it takes 10 times longer, say 'yes, you can help' before you say 'no'. It will get quicker and neater with time.

It is worth your time invested now, for 'good people' later.

Kellie - posted on 04/28/2010

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At 8 I was helping my mum with the housework (stacking dishwasher, some dusting and tidying up) as well as cleaning my room and making my bed. I taught my eldest son to make his bed as he started school and it took him a while to really get the hang of it but he has been cleaning up his own room since he was really little it was a fun game we played before dinner.

He is now 11yrs and his jobs include feeding and watering the pets (dog and bird), taking out the recycling and mowing the lawn (with help from dad) He also will help with the washing up, taking the washing off the line and helping to feed his baby brother so that I can cook dinner and do other household chores, he doesn't do the last couple of things all the time only when life is hectic but it is important to teach kids responsibility and little household jobs like tidying up toys, straightening bed covers and helping set the table are great for kids.

Lets face it we all need some help sometimes and kids love being helpful (or rewarded). It will also help them later in life.

Sara - posted on 04/28/2010

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You can start expecting your children to help as soon as they can walk! Our family has just started a more "formal" chore program, and I expect my 6, 8, and 10 year olds to do everything from vacuum to unload the dishwasher to match socks to clean bathrooms. You'll have to do some training, and set incentive type goals to get them on board with this. My just turned four year old and two year old sort silverware and help pick up toys. Please don't make the mistake of doing everything for your kids! That leads to older kids who expect to be waited on -- selfishness abounds. (I'm a teacher by profession) If you want your kids to know how to work and solve problems as adults, then start now. Just be clear on what you expect them to do and what the rewards and consequences are if the job doesn't get done! And whatever you do, DON"T DO IT FOR THEM! Ever! If the dishes stack up for three days, then so be it. Pretty soon they'll get the idea. Check out Dr. Dobson's work on discipline, and the books "Boundaries with Children" and "Have a New Kid by Friday."

Alyssa - posted on 04/28/2010

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Wow is the Lisa lady a Mom or a Lazy Drill Sargent. Come on now you sound like my mom.

Alyssa - posted on 04/28/2010

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Yes the oldest one can wash dishes and vacuum a few days out of the week. The younger 2 can help pick up things while you are cleaning mainly their toys. My mom made me start washing dishes when I was 8 and then moved on to me doing everything and her not having a job and still making me clean up everything. I could never be a kid and go play outside bc I had to clean. Just dont do that bc thats not their job.

Rachel - posted on 04/28/2010

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Hi reading all the responses just shows me I aint doing bad with my two boys. They are 6 and 3 and do tidy their toys, help at meal time with taking items to the table and bringing back dishes, cutlery and sauces etc. They love cleaning with the baby wipes and offer to vacuum, and take out the recycling. However must add to list regarding making beds. They have be taught to help from such an early age and know its expected of them now. However, they are lazy regarding getting dressed and putting on their shoes on their own, can't have it all I suppose :)

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