Conflicts during playdates?

Samantha - posted on 09/24/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Help!

I’m not sure how to handle conflicts during play dates. If my daughter does something mean to another child, I always tell her “we don’t treat our friends that way” and I make her apologize. She says she’s sorry but I don’t think it phases her a bit.

thanks,
Samantha

2 Comments

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Amy - posted on 10/04/2011

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HI Samantha! I'm Amy McCready, Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. I wanted to let you know I wrote an article in response to your question. I hope you'll find it helpful. It's called: "Beyond I'm Sorry" - 5 Tips for Making Your Child's Apologies Meaningful" Wishing you the very best! http://www.circleofmoms.com/article/beyo...

Kate - posted on 09/24/2011

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I don't think conflict really phases kids as much as it does adults - I handle conflicts the same way you do by making them apologise to each other. Maybe also try letting each of them say what's upset them - each one has a turn to talk while the other listens and no interrupting - then help them come up with a solution? Maybe also say to her (really delicately) that if she continues treating her friends like that they probably won't want to come and play again and that when other children are away from their Mommy it's nice for 'us' to look after them and treat them really nicely? Sometimes if mine have disagreements with friends it's because they want to play different games - so I tell them half hour of one game and then half hour of the other. I have had to, once or twice, give my kids a time-out when they don't listen to reason but really quickly they've realised that being nice is better than being alone!
Hope that helps.

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