Contact with Father

Karrie - posted on 01/24/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi Everyone. I'm at a crossroad in regards to my children seeing their father again. I had him visit over Christmas, but he turned up with his son. Which our children know but have not had much contact. He is 23. It was a little teary for my little ones, it has been three years since he left. Now my problem is that he told lies about what he his doing (work, living). With a promise of I'm getting you this and that. Which never happens. Look has far as I"m concerned I don't want anything more to do with him. But can I make this apply for them. To make this a little bit more harder, I have a autistic son and he did not handle his father leaving again. I think no contact at all is best . can I have your advice?

5 Comments

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Julia - posted on 01/24/2010

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a "whenever he feels like it dad" is never a good thing for the kids, and if you have a child who has an issue with it then no contact is the best idea!

Hope - posted on 01/24/2010

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You know my oldest son is not my husband's and his dad wanted nothing to do with them till after his first birthday.By that time me and my husband had been together for the whole first year of my sons life . I did what I was right and made his dad a part of his life. Maybe one of the hardest this I have had to do. My son is now 14 and he his been though so much by the hands of his dad and stepmom now that I can never take back. But my son now is old enuff to make up his own mind about his dad and how much time he spends with him . So it's easy to say no to walk away we as moms have to teach our children right from wrong and to alway keep people who love them around . Then let them make up there minds . I hope in the end they will know that we did what was right for them . I never want someone to say that I was the one that took his dad away if I do not have to.

Danielle - posted on 01/24/2010

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i agree with the other two moms. if all hes going to do is lie to your kids and come in and out of thier lifes than you should tell him no contact unless he wants to change but right now isnt good for your kids.

Naomi - posted on 01/24/2010

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i think ur hurting them more by letting him come in and out of there lives, then not having contact with him at all. i dont think u should ever tell them bad things about there father just tell them daddy needs to do some things for himself before he can be here for u. but i also think if they really wanna see him u shouldn stop them.

Tasha - posted on 01/24/2010

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If he's gonna be the type that comes in and out of the kids life, then yes... no contact is the best. You would be doing your job as a mom to protect your kids. But everyone changes, sometimes it's too late, sometimes it's for the better and some for the worst. But you have to think of the worst, do you really want to have to have your kids go through that heartache all over again? It's honestly up to you... tell the dad actions speak louder than words.

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