Controlling Husband

Crysany - posted on 12/15/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have been fighting alot lately, over facebook. He hates that Im not on it soo much. But Im only on it when he is a work all day. Once he is home its about us. He says he doesnt like the people I talk to, but I dont see anything wrong with them. He even checks my facebook while Im sleeping. I dont know what to do..

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Dusty - posted on 12/16/2009

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well for me i would say have him get on with you a time or two and let him see what you do and how you talk to this may help and offer him you password and make him one and add him to it and show him what it is all about. and i do think he is just wanting to know you not goin to get on here and either trash talk him or looking for some one else that is a mans biggest fear is seeing you go off with another man. also this also may help make all the friends on you facebook his so he knows who you are talking to and show him you have nothing to hide. that si what i would do.

Carol - posted on 12/15/2009

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This isn't about Facebook at all. It's about trust, or lack of trust, between you and your spouse. Counseling or reading a self-help book together might help you work out the issue. If you just quit facebook this problem will not go away. You need to understand each other better. Good luck.

Amber - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Amber:

I am in the same situation. My finacee HATES facebook with a passion. We constantly fight about the time i spend on it. Also i just go on when he is at work so it doesnt interfer with our time! I think the insecurity about it for him is who i am talking to. He seems to have the impression that i am on there to meet other men. Not matter how much i try to explain it is to connect with friends he doesnt get it.
So basically i set up an account for him. and now he can check in and see what im up to on there. I've even given him my password just to show i have nothing to hide.
If he is still going to be paranoid about it... maybe we should start being paranoid about who they go to work with!!!


Ha ha!  I agree!  If us women acted like this, WOW!  We'd never hear the end of it!

[deleted account]

I am in the same situation. My finacee HATES facebook with a passion. We constantly fight about the time i spend on it. Also i just go on when he is at work so it doesnt interfer with our time! I think the insecurity about it for him is who i am talking to. He seems to have the impression that i am on there to meet other men. Not matter how much i try to explain it is to connect with friends he doesnt get it.
So basically i set up an account for him. and now he can check in and see what im up to on there. I've even given him my password just to show i have nothing to hide.
If he is still going to be paranoid about it... maybe we should start being paranoid about who they go to work with!!!

Amber - posted on 12/15/2009

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Just ignore it. It's clear that he is insecure. Do whatever you have to ensure him that you aren't messing around, and up to no good while on Facebook. My hubby was the same way, until I told him to open one up. Now there haven't been any fights, and our home has remained peaceful. I hope this helps.

Ara - posted on 12/15/2009

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When I first joined fb and started my friend list, my husband thought it was all about reconnecting with past loves and searching for new male friends. I had to explain it's not like that at all for me. I just like to keep in touch with my childhood friends, and old friends I went to church with while I was growing up. I gave him my password and said I could care less if he wants to go on and chat or whatever, I have no problems with that and have nothing to hide. To tell you the truth, I probably wouldn't like him doing that, but still, I have nothing to hide at all. I'm completely honest with him and tell him everything anyways, so it's not an issue anymore. He thought I was trash talking him on fb too, or telling embarrassing stories to make him look "less like a man", but that's not the case. After all, I am friends with his mom, sisters, cousins and even an aunt or two, how bad would that make me look if I did that. I'm like you, I check it a few times quick during the day, and when he's home or we're on vacation, etc, it's all about the family. I guess if it ever became that big of an issue I would just end the whole fb thing. However, I do like the Circle of Moms site. It's been such a helpful resource to me as a first time parent. Good luck. I think it'll just take some time and some understanding to show him you're not on a quest to hook up with men or rekindle old flame relationships or whatever men think. :)

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