Dad cannot keep his daughter

Deundra - posted on 05/20/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Well I find a job and went to the interview which literally took forever. Had my husband keep OUR daughter while I was gone and she scream/cried the whole time I was gone which was about 3 hours. What can I do to fix this problem, her not wanting anyone beside me to keep her? She has me spoil to, because I cried the whole time she was at my mom's which is an hour and some minutes away. She was there from around 2p.m. Monday til 2p.m. Tuesday when I went to get her and she hollered the whole time she was there might have went to sleep around 1a.m that morning. So we both was crying, why did I cry?

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Louise - posted on 05/25/2010

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A small child wants to be with it's mother to feel safe and secure and to alter it's routine in any way is enough to unsettle a child. When you visit your mum do not just drop your daughter off spend some time with her. Leave her to play in the garden with your mum for 10 minutes and return. Then gradually make the time longer but always reappear with a big smile on your face. Seperation anxiety does affect both mother and baby I cried when my youngest son went to play group every day I could not help it. He was fine! You just need to reasure your baby that you are coming back and that nothing bad is going to happen. Your child will get used to be left and eventually she will not cry or cause a fuss as this will be normal for her. The same goes with leaving her with her dad. Don't just get up and leave tell her you are going and that you will be back soon. Honestly this is just a phase and both of you will get better!

Jane - posted on 05/25/2010

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what age is she b/c some ages go hand in hand w/separation anxiety. as long as she is w/people you trust, and it sounds like she is, she is fine. it is heartbreaking but she will grow out of it and get used to it if you were to leave her w/your hubby or your mom on a regular basis. you cried b/c you love her and you're a good mom. she's fine, it's just part of development.

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Oh and make sure you do something relaxing not something like doing chores. It helps with the initial anxiety!

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I tend to have that problem sometimes when I have time away from my daughter. My doctor had told me that one thing that some SAHMs don't realize it that post partem depression can be postponed. See if you never spend anytime away from your child (I hardly do) you find was to ofset the depression so when you are suddenly away from your child all those emotions can catch up with you. I am not saying that it is what you are going through but it might just be that natural response delayed or intensified. I managed to offset it by little times away. Start small with an hour here and there. Have your husband watch her and just go in a different part of the house or take a bath. You wouldn't think it but it starts to help. Gradually increase the times that length that you are away from your child. I thought it was silly because it didn't seem to me that being in the other room would make that much of a distance but it makes it so you are far enough away to have that distance but still close enough that it helps keep you from feeling too anxious. Just make sure you relax and take it slow. Good luck. I hope this tip works for you because it had really helped me. I still don't spend much time away from my child but I know I can handle a couple hours without being too bad. But then I just started stepping my self down from my child not long ago. Our children are like the most potent drug out there (it takes time to ween yourself off).

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