Daughter (11) Anger problem

Stacey - posted on 08/07/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 11 and has a really bad anger problem. She is as big as me and does hit and kick me. What should I do?

6 Comments

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Deidre - posted on 08/30/2009

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When I was 10 I guess that's when I hit puberty. And my mom and I were at each others throats... I did how ever find a friend in my friends mom. She was tough,to the point and actually very loving... To this day I am "The Go To Auntie" for my nephews because of this same issues... I make sure my 10 yr old boy has another adult that he can trust besides me for when that time comes.

Christina - posted on 08/23/2009

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i had an anger problem at that age too and acted out against my parents. i wasn't trying to be disrespectful, i was just angry (had a hard time making friends, was being teased at school, mom moved us around a lot) and too young to know how to cope with what i was feeling. my mom went the punishment route and i didn't really learn how to deal with anger until i was much older and to this day i can't talk to my mom about anything personal. what i really needed was someone to talk to and help me find a constructive way to vent my anger. i suggest trying to talk to her. also, enrolling her in a physical activity (anything at all-dance, soccer, martial arts). channeling the angry energy into exercise is a constructive way to deal with the anger.

User - posted on 08/23/2009

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Have a daughter same age as yours, and yes she also has this anger problem. Specially when I asked her to help in household chores, she would just start to bang things. I started reading books on parenting and I read in one that try to alienate the anger attitude from the child,. Instead of saying " stop being angry! " try saying " you should beat the angry monster!"..

Amy - posted on 08/10/2009

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My daughter also has anger issues. She's now 16 and 6 foot, 1. She's a big girl (I'm 5 foot 7), but I don't ever let her think she's badder than me. I have had to call the cops on her once because she thought she was tougher than me. The cop told me that all I had to provide for her was food and shelter. NO EXTRAS. He said it in front of her, too, which I believe helped a lot. You do need to STAND UP to her and let her know you're the boss and there's no two ways about it. My daughter now has more respect for what we do give her. Make sure that you respect her; her alone time; her privacy; her thoughts and feelings as a human being. This is something my husband cannot grasp and therefore they have ZERO respect for one another. I feel like you have to give to get and she definitely responds to that. Listen, love and she'll come around. Good luck!

Jenny - posted on 08/09/2009

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I agree with Loretta... you need to nip it in the "bud" now. If she is as big as you at 11, she will get bigger then you and you need it handled before that happens. Mine learned very young that hitting mom was not going to be tolorated - I brought them in to this world and they will respect me if for nothing else - that fact (although I hope they do for other reasons.)

Loretta - posted on 08/07/2009

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If she is hitting and kiking you then she has no respect for you. First take away everything from her, tv computer phone friends, i know it sounds harsh but she needs to know the everything she has you have given her and they are privileges. Show her that by respecting you and your wishes she can earn privileges also by chores she can earn them but they can just as easily be taken away too. If she is only 11 and is treating you like this then what is going to happen as she gets older. She has to learn that you are mom and what you say goes without the attitude from her.

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