day care and preschool

[deleted account] ( 21 moms have responded )

Do you think your children should go to day care and preschool?
My mother-in-law asked if we were going to that for my daughter and I told I don't know. She seemed upset I didn't say "yes" right of the bat. My husband said that her and some other mothers back where he grew up started a day care or preschool and that is way she wasn't too happy with what I said.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rachelle - posted on 01/27/2010

70

19

9

I am on the fence about public schools in general nad having said that I think you need to do waht's best for your child. My daughter was so excited to go to school since she was 2, actually, so i was going to put her in and they told her she was too smart! so she didn't get to go. so i'm leary of putting her in school at all. but my son is a handfull and he has a speach delay that i have not been sucessful in correcting so he will probably have to go to preschool. whatever decision you make it will be the right one!

Glenda - posted on 01/27/2010

56

17

5

I choose to be a stay-at-home Mom (Mum) at present, yet I have also been a working Mother and also taken all my children out of school and travelled with them for months at a time. I love that women, men and children have so many choices, its sad for me as a teacher and early childhood professional to hear the negative feedback about day care - I guess maybe it means something totally different in the US? I had a quick browse at some of the award winning day care centres there and found the programs on par with Australian day care in that all programs must target children's developmental outcomes/age appropriate develoment and many have adopted emergent curriculums which celebrate the child's own interests, their families culture and provide a vast array of new and stimulating experiences for the child. One of the most discussed concerns (outside of mental health - although linked to it) is that lack of resilience in children of this generation, their ability to cope on their own, problem solve in social situations. Now this is not suggesting that children at home cannot develop this - absolutely they can. I know a few parents who make decisions to hold their children back from Kinder or day care (child care) for their own reasons, not for the best interest of their child. Yet I have also worked with children who are not ready to progress to school due to emotional/social development even after a year at Kinder and could do with another year, yet their parents look forward to the time when they do go off to school and send them anyway.
Whilst you do not have to choose day care or pre-school, its great we have the choice, however maybe take a look at the services that are around, sometimes its easy to get caught up in stereotyping and generalisations, when really what is out there is very very different to what we think is there. This is definitely a passion of mine and I would like to see all children provided with equal choices in quality regardless of where they choose to foster and enhance their development. The teachers and staff at day care centres work very very hard to develop a high standard and quality of learning environment - as do Kinders, yet of the Kinders I have seen recently not one has changed their approach to what it was 20 odd years ago - still the same type of program, all the art work looks the same, its neat, tidy and the children sit in nice little groups, line up etc - if you don't have a service offering emergent curriculum - search 'Regio Emilia' and take a look at what children are being offered - its really an amazing learning environment.

Heather - posted on 01/25/2010

22

18

5

I say if your a stay at home mom you dont need to put your kids in anything. They need to be with mom as long as possible if you ask me. Plus before you know it they will be in school if thats what you choose. Good luck

21 Comments

View replies by

Schollin - posted on 04/18/2011

116

5

6

I put my son is preschool and have to say he loves it. I agree being with my kids is best but seriously moms we're not fun all the time for the kids and they need a break from us.My son has learned a lot more faster from preschool than he could have learned from me.

Michelle - posted on 04/18/2011

1,606

10

227

Daycare- not unless you need it. Preschool- sure if you can afford it. It's not a bad way to get them adjusted to and prepared for school. It's not a requirement by any means. I put my son in a preschool that lasts about 2 1/2 hours 3 days a week. He gets just what he needs out of it. Nothing bad will happen to your kids if they don't go to daycare or preschool and it's not some form of child abuse. Discuss it with your husband and decide what you think is best. It's not really up to your MIL.

Crystal - posted on 04/18/2011

369

20

50

I totally agree with Basia. I don't like daycares, which is why I chose to be a SAHM 5 yrs ago. If you need to work, then obviously you need to send your child somewhere, so do your research. As for preschool, I did a home preschool program with my son, now 5 and in Kindergarten, and he adjusted just fine when he started public school this year. I prepared him well academicaly with the help of the program, and he is now at the top of his class, and is well liked by his classmates. I think it depends on how you view your child's personality, do you think she'll need the social adjustment before Kindergarten? It should totally be your and your husband's decision, your MIL has the right to her opinion, but you shouldn't let her reaction sway your decision. :)

Ashley - posted on 04/18/2011

29

11

1

Daycare isn't necessary unless both parents work, period.

Preschool--it depends on the child. If the child doesn't get much social interaction, if the child would benefit from a more structured learning environment than the parent(s) can provide, if the child might benefit from the part-time schedule to help transition and prepare them for regular school...absolutely.

My son is autistic and will be aging out of our Early Intervention program at the beginning of June (when he turns 3), he will start public preschool in the Fall and they will be taking over his therapies.

Basia - posted on 01/28/2010

30

9

1

Day care, not unless you really need to. Preschool, if you can afford it, yes....

It will help get her used to being seperated from you, even for a few hours to start. It will also introduce her into the social setting with kids her age on a regular basis. With that you will also expose her to germs and viruses, initially she will get sick... nothing serious usually but it will help her to build her immunities to the viruses and such that get passed around by kids. As a result your child will miss fewer days of school when she enters elementary school.

Tanya - posted on 01/27/2010

21

11

2

I took my child to daycare at 13 months when I could she that she needed some more interaction and that I was not interresting enough anymore. It took her through reflux and crawling properly and standing and sitting. She was just starting to walk when she went to daycare.

When I compare her development with other children who has been in daycare at an early stage of 4 months I can see that they did not receive the same attention regarding motor skills like learning to crawl properly. I also read books to her and she still loves taking a book to read.

My advise to you is to see if you can keep your child until she has learned to crawl properly. Daycares don't always believe in the importance of learning to crawl before walking (to develop the mathematical part of your brain).

Terri - posted on 01/27/2010

7

0

0

Daycare, no. Preschool- depends on your child. Preschool (1 day a week) is great for my 3 year old but it was not the right decision for my 5 year old. There are so many playgroups and activities that you can do with your kids that they do not need to be in preschool. This is a great time to enjoy your children because they grow so fast.

Patty - posted on 01/27/2010

10

1

0

I quit my job to be a stay at home mom and never intended for our daughter to go to preschool. However, now that she is 3 I'm finding that I can't be her everything. Although I spend a lot of quality time with her, I felt she was missing something. (she's our only child) So I explored some preschools. I decided on a church based program that did not have a huge learning curriculum for their 3 year old group. I wanted the program to be a blend of education, structure and socialization. She really enjoys it and looks forward to "school days". As a side note, I was also concerned that by the time she goes to Kindergarten it could possible that our State mandates full day kindergarten. I thought that would be too much of a change from being with mama all day then being away from home all day. But this is definitely a decision you and your husband make together based upon your child's needs and personality.

Glenda - posted on 01/27/2010

56

17

5

I guess day care and pre-school mean different things to different people. In most states of Australia other than Victoria, day care (child care) and pre-school (also known as Kinder in Victoria) has qualified early childhood teachers who provide exactly the same program from 3-5 yrs (or in some States only 4-5years). However what the difference is for some Moms working and others not is what works around their situation and also the cost is a huge difference - I think its great to provide children and their parents with equal quality of choice.

Tonya - posted on 01/27/2010

65

24

3

I love mother's day out. It gets them ready for Kindergarten and gives a much needed break one to two times a week

[deleted account]

If you are at home with your children, I say keep them there with you. There is no need for preschool or day care. There are many ways to have your children interact with other kids other than preschool or day care if that is what she is concerned about. You can go to the library for story time or you can go to the park. You can find or create a mom / tot group that goes out weekly, bi-weekly or monthly. She is your child, you raise her the way you & your husband feel is best for her.

Marcia - posted on 01/27/2010

34

20

6

I think this has to be a choice for you and your husband to make. Please don't let yourself be pressured into something you are not comfortable doing... Personally I don't feel that either are needed. Of course, you have to take into consideration that I home school my children. ( I feel it is what is best)

Brandy - posted on 01/26/2010

5

24

0

My oldest son did go to day care for a summer (i didn't have a choice). It was ok he was about 18mos. He has started young pre-school. He started in Sept. just like school and goes 3 days a week from 9-4 (I could have put him in for 2 day and for half days). I feel that they need the socialization at a young age. It really does help them become socialized with other kids their age and helps prep them for kindergarten. I you live by a University that has an Early Childhood Development program, they may have preschool. This is one of the main reasons my son goes. While he's at school, this gives me time to do my running that I know he's not gonna want to do time to do homework. He loves it. Good luck with your choice.

[deleted account]

I just wanted to see what opinions everyone had on the issue. I'm not sure if I want to do either one and I really don't care what my mother-in-law wants. She won't take both my kids overnight. She wants them to have equal quality time with them, so a 2yr old and a 7mos old seem to be too much for her.

Sarah - posted on 01/26/2010

3,880

14

1082

I find day cares and preschools to be two different things. Day cares are a facility to care for you children while you are at work or need a sitter during the day. Most day cares have a preschool program for those that are 3 and 4 yrs old. Preschools are there just for learning and getting prepared for going to kindergarden. Preschools are usually a 2 to 2 1/2 hr program where the child attends to the purpose of learning and preparing for kindergarden. I find comparing day cares to preschools are two seperate things they do different things. If you are a stay home mom I would encourage you to look into preschool programs. There are both public and private preschools. Many churches will offer a preschool program. As a stay home mom I did not want my kids in day care (that is why I choose to stay home). But I did want them to attend preschool. Today's preschool is much like how kindergarden was for us. In preschool they are learning their letters and the sounds they make. Learning to count, their shapes, colors, etc. In kindergarden they are working on teaching them how to read (some kids are learning to read in preschool).

Jennifer - posted on 01/26/2010

1,431

1

298

There is no need for daycare if you are a SAHM. I did put my son in preschool, and he loved it. He made a really great friend that he goes to kindergarten with now. I chose this year to keep my daughter home, mostly because of financial reasons. I think it really does give them a head start, but if you are able to teach him some of these things at home, and he is able to socialize other ways (play groups, church, etc)then he really doesn't need to go.

Kaye - posted on 01/26/2010

79

4

16

My son goes to Preschool (he's nearly 4) and my daughter (13 months) does not do anything yet, but when she's 2 1/2 or 3 I will consider a Preschool program for her as well. No matter how much quality time I spend with my children, they will always learn different things with different people and other children. We do weekly playdates with kids too, to keep them both 'socilaized'. I have seen huge improvements in my son's behaviors since he started Preschool. For example, his potty trained vamped up quickly and he will sit and eat at the table. He has started writing his name and other things that I could not keep his attention to do at home. But,in 'school', he sees other kids do it and wants to do it too. He also eats all his veggies, potatoes, meat and even salad at school, which are sometimes struggles at home. I have only seen positive results from it.

Heather - posted on 01/26/2010

11

0

2

Day care? No. Pre-school? Sure, why not if you can afford it. My kids all did 2 years of pre-school. Pre-school is a great way for the kids to learn to be without mommy and to learn a little independence. Pre-school just helps get them ready for kindergarten. It's not a must but it's a good thing if you can afford it. It's only a couple of hours a morning, a few mornings a week. Don't do it just because your mil thinks you should though, do it for your daughter. Daycare is something completely different. That's just people babysitting your daughter and if you are at home, why would you need that?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms