dealing with Infidelity and no job

Heather - posted on 02/17/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I quit my job while pregnant with my son at my husbands suggestion because my pregnancy was very difficult. My son is now 10 months old and I have a 4 year old daughter. I just found out that my husband has had a new girlfriend since this past New Years. I saw that his last girlfriend left him because she found out about my son who was 3 months old at the time. My husband doesn't make very much to begin with so divorce is going to be kind of really hard, especially because I'm not working and haven't worked for a while. I was thinking of trying to make it work with him meanwhile saving money behind his back just in case. Has anyone else dealt with this issue? What have you done about it? Did you try to make it work also?

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Shantel - posted on 02/22/2016

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Once is a mistake. Now he is just taking advantage. Don't allow him to hurt you. If u think it can work go to counseling. Confront him. If he is not willing to try with you but can try with other women, I would say it's not worth it. There is someone who would love to be with you an only you. Someone who wouldn't mind taking care of you. I'm sorry to hear this. There are so many people staying in Toxic relationships because of fear of being alone, or for the children, or for financially reasons. & if he has time & money for the next women he has it for divorce or child support.
Once a mistake, twice it has become a Habit.

Mwendabai - posted on 02/20/2016

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Having a cheating spouse is one of the most painful things in this world. Firstly, i must point out that for as long as you are with him, you will not be in a very good space to be the best mother you should be because you will be stressed and unhappy most of the times. Unfortunately in that case, the children loose out a chance of having the best of the mother. Secondly, it seems you spouse has a serious problem with remaining faithful and therefor i would like to kindly ask you to arrange for some professional marriage counseling for you guys to try and iron out the route cause of the infidelity - in most cases, its just excuses that men have... but before packing your bags and leaving, i would like you to please do some introspection as to where you stand emotionally with this man.. and get help... am sure he can change with enough motivation and encouragement. Some of these habits are so easy to get yet very hard to leave. all the best and please keep us updated

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Heather - posted on 03/01/2016

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You are all great. Thank you! I posted this ages ago I feel like. I vacillate between being super angry to indifferent pretty frequently. My goal is to make my kids and myself happy. Every day that answer seems to be different.

Leah - posted on 03/01/2016

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You do whatever you need to do. No one else here knows your situation, and the pain is unbearable. If you need a few months to get capital together, do that. Do whatever's gonna stress you out least, because you have enough on your plate. Trying to do what everyone else thinks you should do will just add to it.

Anna - posted on 03/01/2016

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Don't let someone hurt you like that. It's hard, but you deserve better than that. And if doesn't have it in him to admit it to you and actually try to work on things with you, he doesn't deserve someone as great as you.

Kathleen - posted on 02/22/2016

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I really feel for you. It must be the most difficult situation. I'll pray that things work out for you..;-)

Michelle - posted on 02/20/2016

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Do you really think that you can pretend to be in a relationship with a cheating spouse?
How about you stop thinking about how hard things will be and start thinking about you and your children. Do they deserve to be around that sort of relationship? They will know you aren't happy.
You've said he doesn't earn much, it's going to take you years to save some behind his back.
Do you have any friends or family that can help you?
Did you know about his girlfriend when he got you pregnant?

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