Depressed & my baby needs me... :(

Doralis - posted on 09/15/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I lost my job and my car got repo... everything has been spiraling down since. I feel horrible that my daughter has to suffer along with me but I can't find a way to cheer up. I don't really want to do much. I used to take her to the park or bookstore.. now all i do is sit in front of my computer and web surf or sleep the entire day. Please HELP! :'(

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Melissa - posted on 09/17/2009

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Sorry to hear about you losing your job and your car getting repo'd. I hope things get better soon. Have you thought about getting on some anti-depressants? I was on it for a bit after my oldest son was born. I had PPD and the meds helped a bit but what really did it for me, was that I got a PT job on my husband's days off.

Erika - posted on 09/16/2009

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I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Times are tough for many people right now. Try not to stress too much. (Although I know it must be hard) Remember that things happen for a reason. As far as cheering you and your daughter up... try going for walks. My kids and I go for a walk around our neighborhood when we need to get out of the house. It's very relaxing to all of us. Also, have you ever thought about working from home? I am a stay at home Mom to a 2 year old and 6 month old. I work with a great team of Moms; we help people create income from home. No parties, No inventory, No MLM! FREE website, training, and UNLIMITED support!! Just A SAFE, SIMPLE, SENSIBLE, and SOLID ... NO-RISK HOME BUSINESS. The best part is I can make money and be with my Family!!!
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Melissa - posted on 09/16/2009

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The best thing that works for me when I get real bad (mentally) is running. I run my day away and after I feel so damn good and on top of the world. You have to find strength from within that you never thought you had to get it done. I have 3 small kids and go to college full time but in order to get energyto do everything I drink crystal light energy or drinks similar, even tea. I'm not sure if you have one where you live, but here they have a career center right next to the unemployment office and it can be really helpful. Also go to USAjobs.com lots of good federal jobds to start out with. Good luck and remember that you are only as good as you think you are.

Jannette - posted on 09/16/2009

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I agree that seeing your doctor is a good idea they may know of a support group that can help and may have other suggestions that you can use to help yourself. Another thing that can help is exercise. I know it is hard at the moment because you have so little energy and really don't want to go out but a simple walk can help you release endorphines and that helps. I am sure your daughter will love going for a walk with you especially if you make it a time to talk as well. It could become a really nice mother daughter time that helps keep the lines of communication open as she gets older. You are not alone many of us go through this but just know feeling like this does not last forever. Stay strong and you will get through.

15 Comments

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Corina - posted on 09/23/2009

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Every MOPs group I've been to has been an amazing group of women! Check MOPs.com for your local chapter!

Jeannette - posted on 09/22/2009

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Some time it's easier to give up and hide from the world than to face the problem head on. Don't be discouraged it happens to all hard working moms. Maybe you need to stop looking for whats in front of you and look inside of your self. Maybe you just need to find your self again. It's OK it happens don't feel guilty. My mom always told me that when one door closes another one will open, you just have to be prepared for whats going to be on the other side. When it comes to your daughter talk to her let her know whats going on with your finances. She's your baby and trust me she will understand. Don't push her away. I have a 13yr old daughter and have found my self in your situation b4. And when i spoke to her it just felt so much better. You know children can do without certain things in life but they can't do with out her mom. Go out and do things with her don't let this hump tear you guys apart. You are your daughters role model and you have to teach her that when she grows up and times get hard. She is a strong woman that her mom thought how to survive no matter what comes her way. Hit me up if you wanna talk. Good luck...Janet mom of six and it's not easy but i will give my all for them.

Treva - posted on 09/22/2009

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I understand the depressed part. This economy sucks right now. But God can help. Whenever I'm feeling like that I try to read my bible. For some reason I always feel better afterwards. I'm sorry about you losing your job and your car. You seem to have a big blessing right in front of you though. Your daughter. I'm sure she loves you very much. And I'm sure you are a very good mom to her. I'll pray for you. God Bless!

Doralis - posted on 09/18/2009

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Thanks u sooo much ladies.. you dont know how grateful I am to know that someone actually cares and have gone thru what I'm going thru and there will be better days. I'm going to try the "walking at the park with my daughter" idea that Melissa and Erika suggested. I will drink some vitamin D and music YES it helps, but I'm a terrible singer (lol). I will opt out of antidepressants (scared to get addicted) but will talk to my doctor about other options. I'm doing research to find centers where I can go with Kathy (my daughter) to do some fun activities on the weekends. God Bless U All for helping Me =)

Amanda - posted on 09/18/2009

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im goin through the same thing girl. having a car really does make a difference, and since its gettin cold ( sorry i dont know where u live but ill assume its getting cold ) its hard to even take ur baby out for a walk or somethin, so try and do things around the house. Blast some music and sing ( it releases endorphines) make some coffee n then decorate your house for halloween. It aint too early n decorations are usually real cheap and that will cheer up ur girl too.

Dana - posted on 09/17/2009

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i feel the same way myself and have a very active 2 yr old. my uncle was killed in a plane crash in 07,aunt died from mrca in 07,gramdma died in 08,dad died in feb this year.some days i can only rely on my sons face smiling at me in the morning to keep myself going.my husband has been laid off since oct.of last year.want to have more kids,but cant afford them.i will make myself get up and i drag myself to golds gym every morning.they have a daycare in there. days i dont go there,i go to the mall and just walk around. just having small conversations with other moms can really lift your mood. or a walk outside.since im in my child bearing years,i wont take depression meds.a good zap of vitiman d in the tanning bed once and a while helps me 2.good luck.hope this helps a bit.

[deleted account]

Hi threre Doralis sorry that you are going through a hard patch, is hard to see the other side when things are so hard i know.



Just know that there is another side and that one day you will get another job and a car will follow,is great to speak to a doctor about it also..



Just keep looking for another job and start walking as Jannette has said above i notice a big difference in my moods when i stop excercising ,so if you can fit that in please do it...keep your chin up you are doing a great job..:-) I wish you all the very best..:-)

Doralis - posted on 09/16/2009

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Thanks so much for the 411 Louise I will look that up and see what i can find to keep us (me and my lil one) busy and happy.

Louise - posted on 09/16/2009

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have you got a local childrens centre they are very good as well as holding sessions for children they also help people to get jobs or training and they do parenting and family support they are a goverment run scheme and they are great places to go to it might help. Look up sure starts childrens centres on the internet there might be one near you. I no how hard it can be to get motivated I lost my job a while back and it was not a nice experience and some days I just could not get motivated now I do childminding and it is great, hope this off some help to you good luck.

Doralis - posted on 09/15/2009

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Thank you so much for your input Chasity. My daughter is 10yrs old and one smart cookie... she knows i'm feeling down because i have no job but still craves my attention as every child does. I will try to find a way to interact with her more. She means the world to me and i know she looks up to me.

Chasity - posted on 09/15/2009

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As moms we al go through a time where we feel like its to much to handle. First relax and know that it gets better. You have to put yourself first when it comes to this type of thing. You can't help your daughter without helping yourself. Know this tho you are the only one your daughter truly trusts and the only one she will ever want. You dont need to ignore her to feel less stressed but instead find ways to deal. Just think about the future how do you want her to remember her mommy. If you have no way to get anywhere you both can still watch tv together, read, or even walk down your neighborhood. Dont let her see you feeling this way, kids pick up on our tension and can become sad, depressed, angry and even violent. She needs you more than anything else, if you find that ts really hard for you to get back on your feet, you may want to see your doctor depression can do horrible things to our bodies, mind and souls and also hurt the ones we love. I was in your shoes for a long time so you are not alone.

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