Depressed stay-at-home mommy

Casey - posted on 04/20/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Hi moms out there! I need someone to reach out to me. I'm not in a good place right now.

A little background on me. I've been staying at home for a year now watching my kids. I have a 6 yr old, 20 month yr old, and a 7 month old. My 6 year old goes to kindergarten, so most of my time is spent with the babies.

I've got full-blown depression right now. I feel like my future is not bright. I'm losing my mind in my house. I don't have any mom friends to hang out with. And little things like doing housework I just feel like I don't have the energy doing.

My relationship with their father is crumbling and I'm frightened of becoming a single mom to young children and having to do everything on my own.

Most days I just feel sick to my stomach, not eating, and just sit and think about my future. I've been seeing a doctor for my depression for a couple weeks, but I still feel depressed. Nothing is working.

Has anyone out there been in my situation? Does it get better? I feel so alone.

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Laura - posted on 04/22/2016

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Casey,
You are not alone. I think that all the mothers that spend the most time at home feel the same. I left my job to take care of my son Pablo 5 years ago! I also have a little girl, Julia. In the past I was a Communications executive in a very important wine firm in Spain. As I told you, I left my job and follow my husband in every new destination he had: Rumania, Colombia and now Florida. Belive me,... I have lost my mind so many times. But you have to think about your kids. In a year they won't be babies any more. Try to love yourself more and more because they need you, you need your best part of you to be stronger. You dont have to be perfect... they dont need you to be perfect. They just need you.
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Casey - posted on 06/13/2016

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Thank you Aimee, it means a lot that you spent time to write that message. I just got on Zoloft about 2 weeks ago. Although I'm still getting anxiety attacks, I do feel a little better. I got so bad last month I started panicking when I was home alone with the kids. Like feeling like I was going to die or pass out. I had to have my mom come over so that I would feel safe. I also recently am having difficulties about getting out of the house, because I've been getting anxiety attacks just doing normal things like going to restaurants and going inside stores. The depression has gotten a little better, but I am still struggling.

Aimee - posted on 05/09/2016

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Hi Casey,

I am a mom of 3. Mine are 4, 2 and 10 months. Some of the things you were saying I can completely relate to. It didn't get bad until after I had my third. I believe I started to get PPD that came in the form of Anxiety and panic that started to lead to depression. Some days were good, others were bad. It got to a point where I couldn't do it on my own anymore and I finally asked for help. I saw my Dr and I started taking zoloft. For me, it has helped a ton. I have only been on in for about 6 weeks now, but I can tell you that I went from searching other peoples posts trying to come across other moms stories about how they got through PPD, to hoping to help and write encouraging words to moms in similar situations. Im not saying Zoloft is the answer. For me, it was a huge step in the right direction. But its not the only thing that has helped. I rely heavily of faith and prayer. I start every morning reading encouraging words from Joel Osteen. I try to get out of the house more and take my kids places. I feel like its a long road to recovery, but I am slowly getting there. I have always been doing a ton of research on PMS. When I started getting my cycle again is when I started having a lot of these problems, and I do believe its related. It seems I have severe PMS due to a hormonal imbalance. For me, just knowing that its the cause to a lot of how I am feeling makes me feel better even when I am having a bad day. It helps to understand why I am feeling what I am feeling and I am learning about things I can do to help with it. I will pray for you and I hope you feel better soon.

Casey - posted on 05/09/2016

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Thank you to everyone who responded to my message. I read all of your comments and each one had some great advice that I will try. I also was comforted by those who showed me I'm not alone in my current state. I'm going to a doctor, he's given some advice. But my depression is still bad, it goes in waves. Good days, bad days.

I'm sorry to anyone that said they PM me. I wasn't getting them and I realized I had my old email set in this account. If you still wanted to talk, my email is siebelsc@ymail.com.

Once again, I really appreciate the helpful comments. Thank you ♥

EsRa - posted on 04/26/2016

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Hey Casey,

The answer to all the hardships that we have is always God. Pray to him every day around 20 minutes maybe in the mIrving when everybody is sleeping. You are strong enough to raise children that's why you got them. Dont think about your future create it now. Get a pencil and write down what you wish your future should look like. Every day envision it. Feel the feeling of whatever you might write down. Please believe me soon everything will be brighter!!!! I write lots of letters like this it's only a matter of a view months and they all came true!
I am sending lots of love to you!!

Sofia - posted on 04/26/2016

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Casey you need some time off. I would recommend calling for somebody close to you (mom or sister) and ask them for help for a couple of days. If not try visiting parks with kids and there you can meet other moms just like you

Robin - posted on 04/25/2016

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Hi Mom,
My name is Robin. I had 3 children. Your so very right. It's lovely and depressing. I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard to write all this down because it would take forever. I will kinda tell you my situation and mabe I can help somehow even if it someone to talk to.
I was in the same situation only my husband was a drug addict and was never home my youngest at the time had leukemia so I had my daughter and my 3 yr old at the hospital 24/7 most of the time & pregnant. No friends because nobody could stand my husband and in-laws didn't like me because there son wich was the baby of like 6 children could never do wrong. So everything was always my fault. My parents didn't want to get involved for somereason? I'll never know.
I ended up after a long time thinking I couldn't survive on my own with 3 children. So I felt so alone and depressed and suasidal (wouldn't do it because I knew my kids needs me). It was really bad.
But today, I'm proud to say I left him and I realized I did better without him.
I raised my 3 kids by myself, hardest thing I ever did, but I did it.
I lost my 2nd child from a drug overdose he was 17. Been beetten. Rapped as a child, physically and mentally abused. Starved for days.
Girl.
You just look into your childrens eyes and there's no happyness that could compar to a childs love. Enjoy it while it lasts. When they grow up, that's the worst thing I ever went through is having a house of kids to bring all alone. They don't even visit me. I need to learn that they have a life of there own now.
I don't even have friends either, because I'm always waiting for my kids.
Everyone tells me to volunteer somewhere, but I'm like you. I have no energy, always tired.
Nobody understands. Everyone thinks they have the simple answer, but it's not easy. I found what helped me is get a little note book and write everything down. Everything your feeling ASAP, because you'll forget.
And if you & your husband isn't doing good, draw a line down the mittle of the paper and put all good on one side and bad on other and weigh it.
Also, marriage counceler wouldn't hurt.
My marriage was to far gone for that.
But I wish you lots of luck. But remember,
NO man can ever come between you and your baby's.

Leslie - posted on 04/22/2016

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Oh Casey you are NOT alone at all in fighting this battle. I was there - and it DOES get better. I would encourage you to ask your doctor for an anti-depressant and don't feel bad about it as well as the name of a good counselor you can see. If you need help finding one a great place to start is by calling Focus on the Family at 1-855-771-HELP (4357). They can help you find someone and take the time to give you some immediate resources too. It does take some time for the depression to lift but it WILL -- and you have 3 beautiful kiddos to give a bright future too. Have you looked online to see if there are any mothering groups in your area? Like a MOPS group or something like that? I know when my 2 were young (and they were close in age too) MOPS was my lifeline - time for ME - with CHILDCARE!!!! :-) Hang in there - and get some more help - it will make a huge difference.

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