Descussion for Stay @ home moms!

Elizabeth - posted on 08/06/2010 ( 96 moms have responded )

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I have been reading a lot of mother's complaining about staying home, saying they are "stuck at home with their children" I am not judging anyone and thought this might be a good discussion. I am not asking for any lip, or people getting mad and fighting. I want your honest opinion! 100% truth! How many of you feel like you are "stuck" @ home w/ your kids? Complain about having to do "all" the house work etc.


I love my husband and I love my girls. I LOVE being a stay at home mom. I don't think of being a stay @ home mom as some kind of chore I love it. We have a schedule, class time, play, art, reading etc. We have fun and some days are stressful but it's okay.

I would like to know what ya all think, how you feel and why? I have been a stay at home mom for 2 yrs and would never say I am "stuck with my kids" I guess I just don't understand where some moms are coming from

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Christi - posted on 08/10/2010

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I know exactly how you feel Emma. I wish my husband would see everything I do for our family. Just because I don't bring home a check and punch a time clock does not mean that I should be valued any less. All I hear from him is how I sit on my rear all day and do nothing. Well, then there must be maigcal fairies that clean and vaccuum and sweep and mop and do dishes and wash laundry and mow the yard and make the beds and grocery shop and cook dinner and so on. He will never understand and I worry that it will end our marriage.

Kathleen - posted on 08/10/2010

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I can sympathize with the SAHM's who sometimes feel "stuck". We do lots of tedious, repetitive tasks all day, everyday. We seldom get a break from any of this as our husbands are busy earning the money we need to pay for everything. When our husbands are home they are stressed from work and need time to unwind or they have yard work to do so Mom is not given any kind of break. We LOVE our children and made a conscious choice to be SAHM's. However, we are still women with educations who never thought that we would spend years of our lives with little or no adult conversation on a daily basis. Do not judge us for airing our frustrations. We do love our children and would not trade them for the world. I will share my current mantra, "My life is what it is so I will have to adjust to that new reality. I can no longer spend time questioning my choices. My choices have been made and now I will work to find and nurture the positives in my life and work to turn the negatives into positives." This is not an easy task. Wallowing in my own doubts has been a full time job for a couple of years now. It takes one step at a time to move forward and some days my feet do not want to budge. I pray that we all work on not judging each other. It is hard enough to be a SAHM without other SAHM's judging you for legitimate feelings and doubts you may have. You cannot know me or anyone from a few sentences or paragraphs on this site. Do not presume that you can tell me that my life choices may have been a mistake that I could have avoided with better planning or attitude.

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I think many ladies who have responded are absolutely correct in saying that it depends A LOT on how good your support network is. I think it is safe to say that All of us love the opportunity to be home with our kids, and that yes, tedious as it can be, we feel pride and satisfaction in caring for our homes....and yes, even our man. Having a man who is involved with parenting and the home can also make all the difference. My husband LOVES, LOVES, LOVES his job....but no way does he want to do it 24/7. And someday it is so stressful, even he can wonder if it is worth it anymore. Are we SAHM's not entitled to the same doubts some days? If you don't have a partner that understands those moments (or in this case, other SAHM) then you feel alone, and isolated and overwhelmed. And this robs you of having that wonderful, fullfulling SAHM experience. And I could see how you might feel "Stuck". Please, Please....just because you decided to be a SAHM doesn't mean you don't have the right to still pursue some hobbies, dreams, social life of your own - completely unrelated to home and kids. But you need the right support network to do that. You need a partner that will take over some duties when they are home. how else would you get the time? Your world can become so all consuming of home and kids.....and one day you wake up to find that somewhere along the way....you lost yourself. your just a wife and mom. Now maybe some ladies are happy being that 2 dimensional person......but me, I'd rather be a whole person. And I kinda think that is what my kids should see too. I should be a "person" to them.....not just a mommy. How will I grow along with my spouse over the years if I only pursue my domestic roles? will I be interesting 10 years into being a SAHM if I have nothing else in my life, nothing else to discuss but the kids, nothing better to do than keep a clean home, or type the minutes for the PTA meeting? To tell a SAHM that she cannot have more IS keeping her stuck in the house. Now I am somewhat traditional in that I do love and honor the idea that a woman should take care of her home and family. I even believe that we are "called" to this role, that we have special gifts that allow us to do it, and (on most days) do it with a cheerful heart. But for goodness sake.....even God rested on the 7th day! And I think what you interpret as some SAHM bitchin and complaining.....it's just a tired mom in need of a break. she just needs to release some emotions. anyone else working outside the house has these days....and we should be allowed to have them to. We should be raising one another up during these times, not judging one another, or being dismissive of anothers' hurts and frustrations. AND especially not kicking another woman when she is down. it does not look good on us at all. Are we not the nurturers?

Lady Heather - posted on 08/06/2010

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Maybe some moms get different levels of support from dads? I know that as much as I love having my daughter all day, I still like to have a few minutes for myself at night! Also, if you are like me and you can't drive (I have epilepsy), it can feel like I'm stuck - not because of my daughter but because some days we really can't go anywhere. We both suffer from a bit of cabin fever if we can't get out of the house for a bit. Finally I know some moms who have husbands working out of town nearly all the time so they have little time to do their own thing.

I don't think it's fair to say that you put yourself in this position so you should just be happy with it. Most women don't have any idea what it is like to stay at home until they are actually doing it. I think many underestimate how all-consuming it can be. Also, just because someone appreciates having a few minutes to themselves here and there, that doesn't mean they don't enjoy what they do or should go get a job. My husband has a job he really likes, but he still doesn't want to be at the office 24/7 and he still likes to take a coffee break.

Candi - posted on 08/06/2010

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There are lots of circumstances involved. My husband is in the military, so we never live near family and as soon as I make friends, we move. I am fine with that! Sometimes it does get stressful. I worked from the time I was 13 until our fist child was born. I was 24. I continued to work part time and go to school part time until we moved to Germany in 2001. At that point we had 2 kids. After becoming a stay at home parent, I was going crazy! Not b/c of my kids, but just not being able to work. I finally got a job at the school my kids went to...then we moved! For the past 6 years I have been a sahm and full time student. I have 3 kids now and their age difference doesn't allow a lot of activities. I love my children more than anything, but when they go to school, thats my time to do stuff and I enjoy having them out of the house some. They need time away from me too. Sometimes it is a hassle taking them to the store, but s a mom, things have to be done. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. If my world wasn't full of chaos, I don't know what I would do. I think the insanity is the only thing keeping me alive!! I love my family and I love all the adventures being a military wife has to offer. We get to experience living in different areas and experience different cultures. So, no, I don't feel stuck in my house, but when it gets too hot outside, we choose to stay in the house. LOL

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Elizabeth - posted on 08/10/2010

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I have opened up a Group or community not too long ago called "Mother's support system" Find me a join if you would like

Elizabeth - posted on 08/10/2010

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I have just read another 50 comments and I think some of you might have miss read my statement and question! I love being a stary at home mom, I do not feel stuck nor is it selfish to want me time. My husband and I are NOT rich and we don't always go some place. I am very active with my children and wanted to get your opinions on what you thought about being a stay at home mom. Thank you for those who replied.Being a stay at home mom is a blessing, I am not "downing nor judging" moms I am and was just wanting to know where they were coming from. We all have hard days, some say they are stuck and others still see it as a blessing. I am one of those people. So thank you all for your comments. God bless ya all and thank you again

Elizabeth - posted on 08/10/2010

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Tamara Andrews thank you for being honest... I am sure that all us SAHM get over whelmed at times, I would put money on it! We all need support and need ideas and plans to keep us busy. let me keep reading. lovin' you ladies right now

Jessica - posted on 08/10/2010

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Some days are harder than others but I think it depends on how well rested and well fed everyone in the house is. By that I mean, if any of us haven't slept super well lately then things are probably going to be harder and if I miss a few meals, which I do to often :/ then I am in a funk. I'm a new SAHM and yes, there have been days when I just thought I was going to loose it. But those are fewer and farther apart.

Lisa - posted on 08/10/2010

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HAHA. yes I am STUCK at home with my kids. I have 4 of them and no car. We go on walks, and it is hot and sweaty by the time we go a fourth a mile. There also really isn't anything with in walking distance. I love being home with my kids, and I'd rather be a SAHM than being a working mom for two reasons. First reason is that when I'm home I know my kids get fed and changed on a schedule and are well taken care of, and two, when I was working I did all the house work, took care of the kids as soon as I got off work, plus worked 40+ hours a week. If I stay home I still get to take care of the kids, and the house, but I don't have to go to work on top of it. My husband does not help out around the house AT ALL. We are also on a limited income so taking the kids to places that cost money are a treat not an every day happening.
I feel stuck because I don't have ME time. My husband rarely helps out, and the few times I do manage to get away its to run errands and I ask him to watch our 7mo old and he begs me to take the baby with me.
I love my kids, I just want to take a shower and maybe go hang with some friends now and then. I'm so lonely for adult fun, and adult conversation.

Janeth - posted on 08/10/2010

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I am a SAHM of 4 years. When my husband and I planned on having kids it was discussed right up front that I would be staying home to raise our kids. I have never looked back and is a decision that I am happy to have made. I have enjoyed every moment with our Son Jhaedyn. God has provided so that financially, even tho stressful at times, we have made it thus far. It is stressful monatenous at times, but we find things to do and it helps me continue being a productive, loving SAHM. I a now babysit 2-3 times a week providing diversitiy in our home and in Jhaedyn's daily activities. I thank God I am able to be SAHM; no complaints or regrets whatsoever!!!

Samantha - posted on 08/10/2010

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Sure, I have a problem. But at the same time, my husband's paycheck isn't enough to cover for our expenses. And trying to find a job, plus babysitter is such a royal pain in the ass, it ain't even funny

Megan - posted on 08/10/2010

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Well, to me it all totally depends on your situation. If you're having internal or logistical problems at home, it is very hard. I firmly believe some women are more cut out to do it than others. God bless all my fellow stay at home mommies out there!!

Shonell - posted on 08/10/2010

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well am a stay at home mom,and like you Ella we only have one car am new to just staying home with the kids am adjusting and things are progressing slowly but surely it isn't easy and it sure is time consuming,but i guess it's wroth it in the end to see your family happy.

Nicole - posted on 08/10/2010

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Nicely said Kathleen G! I completely agree with you! We ALL love our children and love staying home with them!

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I understand what they mean by being "stuck" at home. I'm a SAHM too and I go stir crazy sometimes and wish I had job. But then I remember, being a mom is a full time job but I love every minute of it! It's the hardest, least appreciative job out there. If you didn't want to be a SAHM don't be a mom! It's the best job you could ever get! and the most rewarding :) Just remember, if you hadn't had sex, there wouldn't be an amazing life growing right in front of you! The milestones, the smiles, laughs, and wacky antics are what make the job so rewarding. Never take your life for granted..Love ever tiny second of it cuz it's over in a flash and suddenly that beautiful baby is a teenager!

Lindie - posted on 08/09/2010

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I am a stay-at-home mom, BUT I take jessica shopping and go out for coffee with my friends. SOMETIMES I feel stuck at home and a 3-year-old's company and conversation is not always what I need. BUT I know it is the best for my child. Jessica goes to 1/2day school three times a week, so I do get some time for myself.

Misty - posted on 08/09/2010

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I am a stay at home mom and i love it somedays other days i dont. I love the fact that i can get to stay at home with my two daughters (5 & 4mos) but i hate the fact that i am always home and not working or socializing with friends or people my age. Like most of you my husband is in the military and my family and friends live clear across the county so it is very hard. I worked from the day i turned fifteen clear up until last february, so i think my problem is that im so used to being independent and making my own money and actually feeling like im doing something with my life, not just cleaning this house all the time for it to get tore apart three more times that day. So my solution is that im going to start daycare so i can be home with my daughters and also be kept busy with other kids and making money at the same time. Im also starting college again!

Caitlin - posted on 08/09/2010

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I admit i do whinge about the cleaning but otherwise i LOVE staying at home with my kids, and i would much prefer to do that then have to go to work everyday and miss all the special moments that my husband misses out on, i think being a stay at home mum is awesome and would never change it.

Amanda - posted on 08/09/2010

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I LOVE being at home. I'm not saying that some days aren't stressful or that I sometimes want a day off, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I see these early years as precious time and we're creating so many memories I couldn't have if I was at work. :)

Jocelyn - posted on 08/09/2010

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I hate being a (constant) stay at home mom. It is a boring and thankless job with minimal adult human contact. I hate cleaning, I can't cook, and I could care less if our clothes are folded. It is just not in my personality to be a SAHM. I didn't choose to be a SAHM, but daycare is just too bloody expensive in my area. My ideal situation would be work one day, home one day *repeat* I love my kids, but I seem to LIKE them more after I've had a couple hours away from them lol.

F. Janee' - posted on 08/09/2010

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I love being a stay at home mom and I been able to be one since my first was born 6 yrs. ago. I wouldn't have it anyother way. I didn't have four kids so that a babysitter or daycare could raise them. But it can be very stressful. But if life wasn't stressful it would be boring. There are good day and there are bad day but that is part of being a mom. I wanted to be a mom and ya it is a lot more stressful than I thought. More so since my twins were born in Dec.2009. But still I wouldn't have it anyother way. I love my kids and all the stress that come with them well that is a given.

Bridget - posted on 08/09/2010

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I love being a SAHM, I have 1 year old identical twin girls who are just amazing, however they weren't always easy and I was questioning being a SAHM for quite a few months. For the first 8 months or so I thought I was going to go out of my mind literally. I had my twin girls, my husband was at work all day, my family members "promised to help" before the twins arrived but once they were born they disappeared so I was left with 2 screaming babies who threw up constantly (were premature with A/R issues). Feeding 2 babies was so hard, doing everything on 1-2 hours of sleep was exhausting, not being able to go anywhere because my babies were always screaming and throwing up made life pretty depressing, etc. A single baby is A LOT different then 2 babies and taking care of 2 babies by yourself at times when they are fussing non-stop for hours because their tummies hurt can drive you to the brink of insanity. I had a lot of anger towards my family for not helping, I still do! Anyway, now that they're 1 things have gotten so much more enjoyable! I LOVE being a SAHM!! We do all sorts of fun things, we go hiking, go to the park all the time, swimming, to the petting zoo, farm, etc. they are amazing and we have a blast together! I think people complain about being SAHM's because it's so difficult. I have friends who never liked to work, then they had children realized it was so difficult so they decided not to be SAHM's and actually got jobs for once! So that just proved to me that being a mom is just more difficult than sitting in an office most of the time and that's why most complain. Of course at times I wish I could socialize more with people my age. I don't have many friends in my part of NJ, I'm from North Jersey and we moved to South Jersey so it does get lonely but I really do have fun with my girls and my husband is so much help and fun to be with as well. I guess it's your personality and how much work you're willing to put into it. :)

Casey - posted on 08/09/2010

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I am a stay at home mum and I chose to be a stay at home mum, I love my son to death and would never want to leave him to go to work BUT...... my partner works away all week so I don't have the support that alot of other mums out there have, there is no-one to take over at the end of the day when I have had enough and there is no-one to even talk to about my sometimes stressful and sometimes boring days I am completely alone all week with just a 2 year old for company, so yes sometimes I do feel a little trapped and I have complained a few times about feeling stuck at home with my son but it doesn't make me a bad parent and it doesn't mean that I don't love my son or that I don't love being home with him every day. I am glad that some people have such wonderful peachy lives but it doesn't mean you need to make everyone else feel like crap because we sometimes struggle, you have no idea what other circumstances other stay at home mums have to deal with on a day to day basis.

Laura - posted on 08/09/2010

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Whitney, thats EXACTLY how I felt before our daughter was born 19 months ago!! Its hard to believe, but it WILL get better, especially once they are able to play together and you dont have to worry about the older child hurting the younger in their play.

Leah - posted on 08/09/2010

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being a stay at home mom for me is not a chore. I LOVE it. Maybe some moms aren't able to get out of the house and be with friends. most of my friends have kids so its a win win. I get to have an adult convo and the kids get to play togther.

Nicole - posted on 08/09/2010

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I love staying a home with my boys! My husband makes it possible for me to do so. I love watching them grow and learning new things. Just bc I may feel 'stuck at home' at times doesn't mean I don't love it!

Cara - posted on 08/09/2010

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I would love to be a stay at home mom. The only reason I work is because we need the extra money. My son is allowed to go to work with me also so its not a horrible job.

Beba81889 - posted on 08/09/2010

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i love staying home with my lil man ,and my husband helps out alot when he is home i get my me time to pamper my self and we have a date night at least once a month it helps .....even though now we are in a new state and mostly stay to our selves its nice to have each other.

Sammie - posted on 08/09/2010

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I LOVE being a stay at home mom!! I wasn't one at first, we didn’t know if we could afford it.. When my baby was around 9-10 months I got to start staying home! I would hate to have to go back n try to find a job and send my son who now 20 months to a sitter/daycare.. My husband-to-be’s car broke down a couple months ago so we are trying to save for that to get fixed, but even with one car I still wouldn’t change a thing. It helps with his work only being 10-15mins from our house and on the way to town, so I can always drop him off at work n get out of the house for the afternoon.. My husband-to-be does help out some around the house during the week and on the weekends he takes care of the lawn and other house chores.. And hes great with our son, helps with everything from him being sick n not sleeping good to changing diapers..
I’m also going back to school this fall for Early Childhood Education, and looking into opening an in-home daycare.. So that works well with my husband-to-be working nights, I will go to school in the morning and come home and spend time with my baby!!

Jacquie - posted on 08/09/2010

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As much as I like to play the drama queen, I really love staying home with my girls. I home-school my oldest so I get to be a bigger part of her life right now then most moms get with their eight year olds. The hardest part is not having a break from her ups and downs (she has Aspergers Syndrome) but it is not enough for me to ever stop doing what I am doing. And I couldn't imagine being away from the baby all day and missing all of her firsts.

Kali - posted on 08/09/2010

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you might want to try and talk to your husband about how you feel. My husband would make me feel like i didnt do anything, like as if staying home isnt hard and that he works harder than me. He would leave his stuff all over and would never pick up or help me around the house. I finally had a talk/fight with him about it, it kinda opened his eyes but not that much, so i decided to go shopping with my friends one saturday without the kids so he stayed home with them. When i got back the house was a mess and he was aggrivated, thats when he opened his eyes, now he actually helps me now. Men always think that we dont do shit sometimes you need to remind them just how much we do.

Amanda - posted on 08/09/2010

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Yolanda, i was that same stay at home mom for a while... with time, you will meet other moms in the same boat and you will be able to have your time out... we had a group where "Sandy" would take my kids on tue, "Cheryl" would take Sandys kids on wed, and i would take Cheryls kids on thur, just for an hour or 2 so that we could go to the store by our selves. It was a chance for all of us to help each other and have a moment to breathe by our self's

Amanda - posted on 08/09/2010

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well my thoughts have changed over the years back and forth. i started out a mother at 17, i worked on my dad ranch, doing everything from picking stalls to cooking dinner, paying bills and taking care of two "motherless" kids that lived there. i loved it! i was always tired at the end of the day but i would not let anyone else raise my kid!
my mother and father both worked, so i never had someone to stay home with me, i also never thought i would stay home with my kids. but the situation presented itself and i ran with it. My husband mom did stay home with him till he was in Jr high, then she just worked part time.
I had my next child at 18 and was living in an apartment with there dad (my husband we got married 6 mos later) and i could not keep that place picked up all the time...it made me cRaZY! i had another child 21 months later and all i remember was that i would not trade it for the world, but it seemed that i needed to be around adults more, because when my husband would step in the door i would talk his ear off for the next 2 hours......
I think most people with 1 or 2 kids are happy to be stay at home moms... its when you dont have money to do fun things with your 6 kids and you live in an apartment that it makes you dislike it.
we later bought a house with a big fully fenced yard. we had another kids (that makes 4) the kids run free in the yard and we have friends kids over A LOT! i think i have 12 kids at a time that come over just to play
I can see what people are saying when they say most things they do about being a stay at home mom....
I have some friends that just cant do it, they tried and they needed more stimulation then they could get from a toddler... and others just cant aford to stay home but said they would love to...
alot of people have all but said i need to get a job, whats the point in staying home... then i have others that tell me how important it is that i am here
I think i fill both ways... if you are involved with you kids and open with them you can work in or out of the home and still have a great relationship with them but i think it makes it easier if you dont have to raise your kids and work too...

as far as ME time i am part of the booster club at my kids school, so some times we have planning meetings with all the mommys.... we all hang out longer then it takes to plan an event.... its fun!

Yolanda - posted on 08/09/2010

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Just sharing a few of the frustrations with being a stay at home mom aside from the many happy moments. I mean if we're going to look at the picture might as well look at the whole picture. :-)

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i was a "workaholic" before I had my daughter, who is 10 months old.
Going from working about 60 hours a week to being a SAHM was a big change for me. I actually find it to be harder at times staying at home, than working.

I love being home with my daughter, knowing that I am going to be the one teaching her my values, rather than someone else who is caring for her.

2 months ago I moved to another town. I moved from Toronto to a small town up north. Moving from a huge city to a small area has been VERY hard. I have no friends here yet, and unlike Toronto there is nothing to do, besides going to the lake. I have no car, which wasn't a problem in a big city, but now I am feeling somewhat "stuck" I do not mean this in a bad way. I am just havin a difficult time with the change. In Toronto without a car I was able to go and DO things with my daughter. There were playgroups, I could go to the mall, the zoo, museums the science centre etc.
It is going to take some time for me to get used to the slower pace of living here.

But even though I feel somewhat "stuck" at times, I wouldn't have it any other way. I am truly blessed to have the opportunity to stay at home with my daughter.

Yolanda - posted on 08/09/2010

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Well I am a stay at home mom of 3 and I absolutely love my kids!! However, I do get very frustrated very often. But in my case I get NO breaks. We just moved, I don't have any friends and I never go out. I am home 24/7. My parents are not supportive of giving me time out and my husband works all the time so let's face it...he probably needs a break as much as I do. LOL I love my children and it is great to be home and witness everything myself first hand but let's face it when it becomes all that you do all the time it can sure get to someone. I think if I had at least 2 days a month off I would feel better as a person and as a mom.

Amanda - posted on 08/09/2010

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Olwen Bishop... you should get a volunteer job like PTA at you kids school (when the get to be school age) then you will always have something to do, you wont think about the house work as much...lol your house might not be spic n span and more but , i think its all worth it!

Cassie - posted on 08/09/2010

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I think we need to ask what feeling "stuck" really means. There are times that I feel there are no other options for me and "stuck" can be what I feel. I believe that being home with the kids or doing activities with them is a lot of emotional and physical work, sometimes we get lost in the doing of it; and it may feel like there are no other options.

I love being home and will continue to be with my kids at home throughout their lives yet I know I will feel "stuck" once in awhile. Peace.

Lisa - posted on 08/09/2010

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I love being at home with my children and find it very rewarding and stimulating. They are always into something new, learning something new, wanting to learn something new, etc. I have found that I have learned a lot about myself from what my children can teach me.
However, I do get frustrated that I'm often the only one who always does the laundry, always does the dishes, always cleans the floor, etc., etc. We live in a rural area on a small farm and my partner travels over half the month for work. Meaning when he’s gone, I’m a single parent raising 2 children and taking care of the farm (cows, horse, chickens, turkeys, rabbits, sheep and bees) along with all of the housework, garden, and yardwork (and in the winter plowing snow and shoveling).
Reading through the threads, I don’t believe that SAHMs are frustrated that they are ‘struck at home.’ From what I see when I’m reading the threads, is that there is frustration with partners, extended family, friends, etc., who believe that being a SAHM means we sit around all day and watch daytime television or that we have to do everything.
I had a doctor’s appointment one afternoon and my mom was on vacation and she took the kids so I didn’t have to take them with me. When I went to pick up the kids, my SIL was there to pick up her kids and my mom asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. I said okay but we’d have to leave right after dinner because the house was a mess. My SIL said, “you stay home all day, how can the house be a mess!”
When people say comments like this, I typically ask them what their children do at daycare/school. The responses are read, play, eat, nap, learn, etc., etc. I always remind a person that just because I stay at home, doesn’t mean my children are self-sufficient. I still have to teach them their letters and numbers, the alphabet and counting, teach them to read, teach them social skills, etc…everything other kids learn at daycare/school.
So my frustration is never with my children, I am so happy and grateful that I have been given the opportunity to stay at home with my children but like most SAHMs, I would like recognition that staying at home with children doesn’t me we are only a MOM, but still a woman who needs personal time and attention just like every else.

Jackie - posted on 08/09/2010

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It can be boring at times but time does fly by. I have teenagers now and wish I could go back to those early years. Enjoy it while you can.

Valerie - posted on 08/09/2010

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There are days that I feel stuck home, mostly because we live out in the country with nowhere to go. But overall I LOVE being home with my girls. It feels good to know that I'm here for them and I can be the one to raise them.

Jessica - posted on 08/09/2010

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I love staying home most of the time. there are times when i wish i were anywhere but her because my daughter wont stop screaming, and more than anything after a few days of that i need a break. but i love it! i wouldnt change it for the world. i like being able to see all her firsts, and im very thankful that her daddy gives me the chance to do that. i never feel "stuck", but sometimes i need out of the house, even if it is just to go grocery shopping. but i wouldnt stay home if i didnt enjoy it. it takes a lot of patience i think, but its much better than missing everything as they grow. it makes me feel sorry for the men honestly, cuz they wanna see that too, but they have to work...so those of us who can stay home with the kids, we are very lucky! and i dont think you should feel stuck if its your choice. your not stuck...your a parent!

Rachael - posted on 08/09/2010

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i am a stay at home mom and its been 2 years for me also. I do have a problem with it because some days my husband comes home and says "WTF did u get done today?" when u have been busting ass all day and the baby goes behind u making it look even worse than it did before you cleaned it. I feel like alot of people look down on me and are like "oh she doesnt have to work" i think staying home is a full time job and some days i just wanna go somewhere and see people and not just stay inside. For me it gets depressing and other days i love it. it all depends. It would be alot easier for me to do if i got more support from my husband.

Suzanne - posted on 08/09/2010

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Yes Emma sometimes I feel the same way. Not valued enough for childrearing and keeping the house. Mind you I am not a fantastic house keeper and never was but I am a good mummy and manage to have clean everything and nice cooked meals. So I think if the other half, i.e. the husband wants more things done they need to help out more. I know maybe when they have no option. I do get some help but most of it is me.

Hailey - posted on 08/09/2010

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well im a stay at hme mum and there nothin here todo so i get bored my bby gets bord and its hard to find a 2 year old sumthin to do while u do all your jobs :/

Stifler's - posted on 08/09/2010

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I don't want to sound psycho like I enjoy the not working and cuddles and baby laughs and watching him develop but I hate that my partner does nothing because he works and says crap like that I have all day to sleep blah blah where are my work socks why didn't you make me lunch are we having sausages again. I really can't wait to pack the kid off to school some days and go back to work then he'll have to do some parenting.

Stifler's - posted on 08/09/2010

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I hate it. It's boring and I miss making my own money. I love the kid but God doing washing and dishes and cooking and killing time is boring.

Tasha - posted on 08/09/2010

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i always said you have babies to raise and lokk after them yourself not so u can dump them on a childminder!!! its a bit of a contraversal (sp) opinion. i love being a stay at home mummy!!! xx

Lori - posted on 08/09/2010

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I have been on both sides. We adopted our oldest child and after my leave I returned - we put him in daycare then the in-laws offered to take him. I felt so guilty for returning to work but at the time we needed my income as well. Then 2 years ago we adopted twins and at that time I became a SAHM as child care is too expensive and the in-laws are not in good health. I love being a SAHM. The time I'm spending with my kids is precious because they grow up so fast. I'm seeing the twins firsts which I missed with our older son. Yes, some days are stressful and some days the house does not get cleaned, but this time is so precious that to me and my husband, the most important thing is the kids. Housework will always wait until tomorrow...

Suzanne - posted on 08/08/2010

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I do agree Jessa, it is the best time to spend with your baby/babies. It puts them ahead for the rest of their life and you can be part of it and remember it forever. That is a true bonus.

Jessa - posted on 08/08/2010

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I'm a stay at home mom to a three month old girl, Nia. I don't mind it one bit. I l know you're supposed to stay at home with your baby the first couple months but I really don't wanna get a job. That doesn't mean I'm lazy, I have a TON of work at my house. I believe the best job in the world is actually being with your children. You can always get a job, you can never go back in time and spend time with your children.

Suzanne - posted on 08/08/2010

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I do agree that the kids and husband are loved and having them is great and nice. However as a past person who was trying to climb the corporate ladder I do miss working and achieving things without have to look after kids and everyone else.

I do enjoy my life and I am grateful that I can stay home with my girls but there are times when it would be nice to just have a break and more me time.

I can understand where the whinges come from but I do accept the fact that this is something that I wanted to do and the girls are great but everything has it's moments.

Hannah - posted on 08/08/2010

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and ashli since you stated that moms who enjoy "me" time are selfish...here is something you should hear from all SAHM that love their kids and enjoy "me" time. We feel sorry for you that you feel as if a few hours away here and there means you love your kids less.

Rachel - posted on 08/08/2010

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I love being a SAHM. I was not too sure how I might do since I am naturally a very social person and my job allowed me to be very social. Although, it was said from the beginning that I would stay at home when we are going to start our family. Some days are harder then others and I do have to say I miss socializing as much as I did, but I have found other things to counter that. I love playing with my daughter and reading to her. I dont think the house needs to be spotless and yes my husband is like a lot of husbands and doesnt do much or anything around the house. However, I have learned that a clean spotless house is not always the best. I could waste all my energy cleaning up after my 13 month old and never spend time with her and it is not worth it. I think when a lot of moms let go of the pressure then that is when it becomes enjoyable. I feel so blessed to be able to spend all this time with her. Being a SAHM is only as good as what you make of it. If you are always feeling down and sad about being "stuck" at home then yeah you will feel like that. When you view it as something special and a gift that you are able to spend all this time with your child(ren) then maybe it will be better. For the people who say they do not get enough socialization and they do not have friends around. Find a young child mothers group. Go to the park and meet new people. If you are religious but are not going to church, go back to church. Go to the mall, there are lots of moms there. I know at the mall by my house they actually have a play time in the morning (and some other activities) for moms in the community to get together and let their children play while they are socializing with other moms. Enjoy your kids because you never know if you have tomorrow!!!

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