Desperate. Please help!! My baby is too clingy I can't do anything! LO

Dgonzalez86 - posted on 09/17/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm a stay at home mom for the first time with my 2nd child. At 5 months she was able to be be carried by only the men in both families; my husband's and mine. Now she is 9 months and nobody, I mean nobody including all family members is able to carry her. She will cry loudly and when she cries too much, she provokes her vomit. This is becoming very stressful. I can't even put her down, so I can shower, clean my home, or even play with my other child who's 3. We have a 2 bedroom apartment and well my husband and I and baby are in one room and my son has his room. My son has been acting out since she was born. He throws a fit if things don't get done his way. We're working with that and he's in school all day prek3. But as far as my baby who's 9 months. I get so frustrated because I can't leave her alone for a minute and she begins to cry. I feel so bad but I've yelled at her, I've even screamed of frustration in front of her, I spanked her on her leg, when I got to that point of spanking.. I decided to place her in her high chair and I sat across her at our dining table and left her there to cry. She cried for about 40 mins. Like she cried to where she was very upset. I was better off away from her. Crazy stuff has crossed my mind, like taking her back to hospital or giving her to family. Like I perhaps would be peaceful without her. After she was done crying, she eventually fell asleep. So after seeing her asleep for 5 mins. I picked her up and she whined a little. Then I spoke to her calmly and told her I was placing her in swing. She didn't cry a bit. She fell asleep once again. I don't know what to do. I've been wanting a date night with my husband. But my family is afraid of watching her because she cries too much and nothing calms her. Same goes with my husband's family. I don't know what to do. What am I doing wrong? Am I bad mother? :(

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Summer - posted on 09/19/2015

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Agreed, you are not a bad mother. My daughter did the same thing expect she would pass out (aka: breath holding spell) from crying so much. I'm a single mom and could not even go to work without a family member calling me and telling me to come home. Shes not old enough to understand that you will come back yet. Give her something of yours like a piece of clothing or something that has your sent on it while you leave. The worst thing you can do is feed into it. Yes it get so frustrating and you will lose sleep, but once it's over.. You will feel such peace. You are in control, stay calm & stay strong. Ps.. My daughter is 3 now and tells me to leave when I have to go to work.

Eixu - posted on 09/18/2015

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First of all, no you´re not a bad mother. But if you want even one second own time you should let her just cry. She has realized that she get´s you to do what ever she wants just by starting to cry. Try to think something that she loves to do by herself, watch cartoon etc. put her on the baby sitter etc. and just go to the shower for example. If she starts to cry. Just let her cry. Take your shover and use all the time you need and then go to her. But do not make it a big deal. When you go to her ask what she´s been doing etc. or give a toy or somethin. but don´t comfort her excessively. Don´t jump everytime she cries. Eventually she will get used to it, that she has to be on her own for a little time. Seems cruel, but works.
And tell everybody else too that they won´t make a big deal about the crying. It sounds terrible when you kid cries, but you should be firm. Crying doesn´t harm her.

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