Did you change your name when you got married?

Caitlin - posted on 04/26/2010 ( 43 moms have responded )

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I just read this article on aol.com and I was curious to hear everyone's opinion on it. Personally I dropped my maiden name when I got married and took my husband's last name.

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/04/18/...|main|dl5|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.politicsdaily.com%2F2010%2F04%2F18%2Fher-husbands-last-name-does-a-womans-identity-change-too%2F

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Laurie - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have been married almost four years now and have two children. I have not changed my name as I am a chartered accountant and known by my maiden name so I don't want to change it as long as I am still a practising accountant. That and it's a royal pain to have to change everything once you are well established. It's one thing when you are 18 and quite another at almost 40. That said - in social situations if some one calls me Mrs. Yoon I do not correct them and as far as the schools are concerned I will probably just give them my name as Laurie Yoon to avoid confusion with the kids. My husband comes from a Korean family and the Korean tradition is actually that the mother does not change her name so I have not had any hassles from either my husband or his mother over the issue. I may change my name legally later as I like how it sounds but for now I will keep my maiden name.

Jodi - posted on 04/26/2010

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I did NOT take my husband's last name, besides going through the hassle of changing my name on my license, bank account, car loan etc etc etc, I didn't see a reason why. His parents did not raise me, I am not a Hayden by blood and my family is important to me as well as his. Furthermore, my mother also did not change her name, so I guess growing up, I knew I didn't have to and was never sure whether or not I would until it came time to actually contemplate not having my own last name.
My middle name is my mother's last name, I have my father's last name for MY last name, my daughter has my husband's last name and her own middle name. I answer the phone with "Hello, Hayden Household." (I really like alliteration!) I throw away mail that is addressed to Jodi Hayden (no one by that name lives here), and I get a lot of weird looks and questions about why I chose not to. For me, it was the right choice, getting married didn't change MY lineage overnight, doesn't erase or negate where I came from and lets people know that I am my own person. I love my decision and have no intentions of changing my name now or in the future!!!!

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Chet - posted on 08/09/2014

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I changed my name. I wanted everyone in our family (myself, my husband and my kids) to have the same last name. I had published under my maiden name, but decided that it mattered more to me for us all to share the same surname.

We moved to a place where women don't change their name when they marry though, and it's been a bit of pain in the butt. The government insists on using my maiden name and I have almost no ID with that name on it. My passport has my married name. We won't stay here forever however, so this is a relatively short term issue.

Kathleen - posted on 07/10/2014

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Just married. While engaged, my husband asked me if I was going to change my name. I said "No," and the reasons. His response- "Do you mind if I change mine?" I love him so much.

Erica - posted on 05/25/2010

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I would want my kids to have the same last name as both of their parents. Plus I am a fan of having the same name as my husband.

Latoya - posted on 05/25/2010

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I didn't change my name with my first marriage and I'm glad I didn't b/c we're getting a divorce. If I marry again in the future I don't know if I will b/c I like my last name.

Deundra - posted on 05/13/2010

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According to my marriage license I have his last name, but everything else is still my maiden. I never use his last name because I like the way my name sounds. Maybe if he had another name that flowed with my first and middle name I might go by his last name.

Michelle - posted on 05/13/2010

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My husband took my last name and I took his. In essence, our names are both hyphenated.

Lindsey - posted on 05/12/2010

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yes i took my husbands last name because i believe thats the thing you should do when you get married and plus i hated my last name which was manley

Outi - posted on 05/11/2010

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yes. I took my husband last name. Actually I only took his first last name. he is puerto rican and its custom for the child to get their dads last name and moms maiden name ( women dont usually change their last names when married) But most only use the first last name ( dads last name) So he has two last names, I only took one of them.. lol.. but he ever uses the other one, its only in legal documents.
Our kids got his dad last name ( the one I took too) and also my maiden name ( which I dropped) so its confusing at the drs etc.. oh well

Erica - posted on 05/08/2010

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I changed my last name to my husbands. I considered using my maiden name as my 2nd middle but it just sounded strange . Dunaway Lasley just didnt go well together to me. But its kind odf weird because my husbands last name isnt his dads nor his moms.Its his moms ex husbands, since she never changed her last name back after their split. So we re techinically not even related to any Lasley's.

Heather - posted on 05/08/2010

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In my first marriage I dropped my last name and that was something that I actually found I regretted. I do a lot with our families genealogy (we are pretty in depth) and so when I'm at family reunion I always put MacNaughton then (ex's last name). I went back to my maiden name after my divorce. Now that I'm getting married again I will add my future husband last name on. 99% of the time I will go by Heather Preston however for anything dealing with genealogy I will put MacNaughton Preston. After talking about it and showing him the amount of genealogy work my Aunt and I do he understood the purpose of hanging on to my maiden name and is okay with it. It is still a little difficult for his family to understand though.

Sarah-Anne - posted on 05/07/2010

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got married in aug '08, didn't get around to changing my name 'til dec '08. i hyphenated with my maiden name, putting his first. i don't have a "father" so my maiden name is also my mom's maiden name. i didn't want to completely lose it mostly for the convenience of not actually having to change my name everywhere, like on credit cards.

Cheryl - posted on 05/07/2010

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I hated my last name the whole time I was growing up and always thought I would be thrilled to take on my husband's name when I got married. But when it came time to do it, I realized that my maiden name was who I was, where my identity came from. My husband wanted me to take his last name so I compromised and hyphenated my last name. So, now I use my maiden name hyphenated with my husband's last name. (both last names are short so it wasn't a huge deal). I think it disappointed my husband a little bit but after 25 years of marriage he is fine with it now.

Ashley - posted on 05/06/2010

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I USE BOTH MY MAIDEN AND MARRIED NAME. LIKE FOR MY SCHOOL ,MY STATE ID,AND THINGS THAT I HAD BEFORE I GOT MARRIED IS IN MY MAIDEN. WE HAVE A JOINT BANK ACCOUNT THAT HAS BOTH MY MADIEN AND MARRIED. BUT IF I OPEN A NEW ACCOUNT LIKE CABLE,TELEPHONE ETC. THAT IS IN MY MARRIED NAME.

Karen - posted on 05/06/2010

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My husband and I hyphenated our last names. He was R. Oles and I was K. Kenney. Now we are K & R Kenney-Oles. I am the last Kenney and the family name would die with me. Our son is J.R.Kenney-Oles. Not to mention, I have been K.Kenney as long as he's been R.Oles. Why should I have to drop my last name when he doesn't have to drop his? Is his last name more important than mine? This outdated tradition of taking only the husband's name has never made sense to me.

Nicole - posted on 05/06/2010

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I've been married 2 years and I go by his last name, but I haven't changed any of my paper work. I wanted the minute I got married to have his last name, but he thinks it's more rational to wait for my I.D to expire and then start the name change process.
That's what the owner of the store I work at did. She still has some of her I.D say her maiden name and some say her husbands last name and it's been like 7 years that they've been married.

Nicole - posted on 05/06/2010

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my husband said it was a deal breaker if i didnt change my name, i dont see what the big deal is but i did it anyway

Donna - posted on 05/06/2010

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For me, my identity didn't change when I became Mrs. Clark, it changed when I became "Y's mom" and "J's mom" :~)

I did take my husband's last name. I love my Daddy, but my last name didn't really flow with my first and middle (to me). My husband's does. I went from 'Donna Floyd' to 'Donna Clark'. I was excited to take his name; it was something I always planned on doing. Some of my relatives have not taken the husband's name. No biggie to me. I also do not have a career in which everyone knew me by "this name" and now they have to learn "that name". That's really hard in carreers where name recognition can be important in getting hired, such as realtors, lawyers, doctors, teachers, etc. Men don't have that problem.

I met my husband right out of high school and married shortly after, so I've lived with my husband longer than I lived with either of my parents - 8 years with my mom & dad, 4 years with my mom, 7 with my dad and 21 with my husband. The hardest part for me about my mom taking my step-dad's last name was that the teachers and nurses/doctors never looked at the paperwork and so they would address her by my name (therefore my dad's last name) which irritated my step-dad and made it awkward since my mom had to inform my teachers/nurses/doctors EVERY time (not Mom's fault they didn't read the paperwork). Those of you who remind people of the different name, good for you for sticking up for yourself.

My sister kept her maiden name as her second middle name legally, so her initials are L(first)G(middle)F(maiden)S(married). When she signs official papers, checks, or whatever, she signs using only LFS, and drops the G. I sign using first, middle and married.

As for keeping heritages, I understand. I have a friend whose mom's family is Irish and dad's family is from is Spain. So he has an English first name, Irish middle name (his mom's maiden name) and a Spanish last name (dad's last name). People always ask why he has Flynn in his name because he doesn't have any stereotypical Irish qualities (red hair, green eyes, freckles) when you look at him :)

Alison - posted on 05/04/2010

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I took my husbands last name proudly. For one I didn't care to much for my maiden name because of the reputation that my sperm doner made with it. My husband taught me a lot when we got together. I wouldn't let any man get close to me due to my past of being beaten, raped, and abused. He finally taught me that NOT all men are like that and showed me that he did truly love me. I am proud to carry his last name as a sign of our love for each other. Before we got married I wasn't going to take his name. But now I carry it PROUDLY!!! I wouldn't have it any other way... and now that we have a child together, I have the same last name as my child. I am also very traditional when it comes to the rolls of a marriage and all. I was taught that the man takes care of the family and the woman stays at home and takes care of the house and children. My husband is the same way. But to each there own...... Everybody has there own opinion and ways of life!!!

[deleted account]

I did take my husband's last name....but only after being married for 12 years! When I was pregnant with our son I started to feel left out at the thought of having a different last name than the two of them. My driver's license was up for renewal anyways a couple of months before I was due so I decided to take the plunge and add my husband's name onto my own.
I didn't hyphenate (because I already have a hyphenated middle name) so that can cause some confusion (when looking me up, some people mistakenly look under the second half of my last name instead of the whole thing).
At my son's school I'm just known as Mrs. Turner, as that's my son's last name, and I'm fine with that. In fact, a lot of times I just give out the name Turner now (at restaurants or stores, for example) as it it makes things easier--a lot of people still have trouble with the double name concept.

Ruth - posted on 05/03/2010

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I love having my husband's last name. And mine is purely for my kids. My maiden name was towards the middle-back half of the alphabet. My husband's name is pretty close to the first. There have been numerous studies showing that children with names at the begining of the alphabet actually do better than kids at the back of the pack. So it's an advantage to my children. That and I just love the uniformity of all of us having the same name (and I love his family, so I don't mind the change)

Jessica - posted on 05/02/2010

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Hehe, I am actually getting married in less than 2 weeks and I am taking his last name. I admit its going to be weird though. the article did kind of touch on some of my concerns- my first, middle and last name have always been "mine" and I hate to just give that up. I don't feel like I CAN just give that up since its been a part of me since birth. So I'm keeping my middle and last name, just tacking on his name at the end (I dislike hyphenated names so I didn't want to do that). So I guess I will have two middle names. Kinda weird but I don't care, I just didn't want to drop my last name completely!

Oh, I'm really not looking forward to changing it on my liscence, bank account, all my bills, etc...

[deleted account]

I considered it an act of love to take my husbands' name. I only hyphenate when I'm on my social nteworks, so that it is easier to find me. Other than that, it is just Sibona.

Lori - posted on 05/02/2010

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I did not change my name right away. It was a gradule process and I still haven't dropped my maiden name. It's now my middle name. There are VERY legitamate reasons why one wouldn't drop it immediately. My own was a combination of having children who still carry that name and fear of losing my own identity stemming from other obstacles in my life prior to dating and marrying my husband. He was understanding and compassionate in the situation and the change only took place in February this year.

Tanya - posted on 05/02/2010

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I changed my name when I got married did not think any thing of it , I am a traditionalist & think it is nice to take on a new name , as it is important to me it shows that your life is changing from being single to being married . I love my husband & I like my married surname , it makes things less complicated to when you have children if both parents have the same surname.

Roseann - posted on 04/30/2010

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i could not wait to take my husbands last name i thought it was very important for me and my children to have the same last name as a family..i know who i am where i came from but as a family it is important to to all have the same name at least for me it does. it completes us as one happy family

Kellie - posted on 04/30/2010

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I can't wait to take my husband to be's last name. We have been together for almost 13yrs and have 2 sons they both have their dad's last name and while it hasn't been an issue for me to have a different last name I will change it.

I don't believe my name is my identity I have met 3 other people with the exact name first middle and last and we were all very different. I love my dad but I would like to have the same name as my boys and that decision I only came to last month until then I was going to keep my last name.

Rebecca - posted on 04/30/2010

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I kept my last name, i dont know if I will take my husbands last name but we r happy and thats all that matters.

Jana - posted on 04/30/2010

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I dropped my maiden name as well. I honestly don't see the point with the hyphenated or 2 last names thing. I know alot of people who have kept their maiden name. Either way, you have a bunch of paperwork to do name changes on. To each their own I suppose.

Morgan - posted on 04/30/2010

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I couldent wait to take my husbands name for a few reasons,
My bio father has never been a part of my life and my mother who I love dearly has remarried and has a new last name herself :)
and also because I just love it ♥

Alina - posted on 04/30/2010

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I couldn't wait to take my husband's name. I know who I am, and love the fact that we have the same last name, no hyphens, although I feel it's a very individual decision.

Britt - posted on 04/30/2010

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My husband actually changed his last name to mine! He knew from the get go that I loved who and where I came from, and he didn't have his dads name so he was happy to change his
We get lots of funny looks and questions but I wouldn't change it for anything.

Devin - posted on 04/28/2010

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i never thought twice about it...the decision to take my husbands name was my own...he was fine either..i couldn't wait for the day my license had his last name

Heather - posted on 04/28/2010

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I actually had a hard time with this decision. I am hispanic and my husband is anglo. I didn't want my kids to lose that part of themselves because of a simple name. However after much thought and discussion with my husband I did decide to take his name. My children will always have their heritage and no matter what so will I. BTW I went from Ortiz (maiden name) to Anderson.

Mrs. - posted on 04/28/2010

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i took my husbands last name at 1st i didnt want 2 but i wanted 2 have the same last name as my son plus i ike his last name n i wouldnt change having his last name

Ashley - posted on 04/28/2010

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From the time I was a teen I knew I would keep my name. I made that very clear through my dating life. No big surprise that the guy I chose to marry didn't care. (his dad is another story) I am my own person and my identity does not lie with the man I married or his family, so it made sense to me to keep my name as an expression of that. On a side note, I'm not close with my dad, to say the least. It's not about him though, it's about me, my history, and who I am. I feel it's a personal choice. I'm not very traditional and don't like to feel boxed in by social norms. I would even go so far as to say I feel the tradition is a bit gender biased. All girl power here! My 3 daughters have hyphenated last names. After carrying them, giving birth, nursing, and caring for them, I think it's only fair. Like the OP, if someone calls our home and asks for Mrs. "husband's last name" I respond that no such person lives here. If it was someone I needed to speak with, they'd know my name. Obviously a strong opinion here!

Tcordukes - posted on 04/28/2010

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I took my husbands name, for me it was just what you do.. lol... however he did say that he wanted to take on my last name ( he doesn't get on with his folks the best), but that seemed not right to me.... i loved changing my name...

Joanna - posted on 04/26/2010

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I'd never thought about NOT taking my husband's name when I got married. I guess in some aspects I'm very traditional and that was one thing I was set on. Plus, I went from a last name of Herring, a type of fish, to Good... which is a pretty sweet last name :)

Brandice - posted on 04/26/2010

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I couldn't wait to take my husband's last name, but that was because I had been married once before and couldn't wait to lose my ex's last name LOL! My daughter still carriers my ex's last name, however as he's still sorta around for her. I couldn't imagine not taking my husband's last name even if I wasn't in a hurry to ditch my ex's name.

Carolee - posted on 04/26/2010

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Honestly, I couldn't wait to take my husband's last name. I'm not a huge fan of my dad's side of the family anyways, though (well, most of it. I adore my grandmother and aunt)... which is why I wanted to change it. My husband said it was my choice, and he wasn't going to try to persuade me in either direction (which turned out to be true... he was surprised when I came home with the paperwork showing my new last name).



I will admit that I look rather stupid now when people ask me my full name. But, I just got married New Year's Eve, and don't hold many conversations where I have to state my name.

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